Over the years, I've spent probably too much time thinking about what I missed because of the Watchtower Society, and miss some things I did. People that don't know nothing about my history -- if they knew my thoughts -- would probably think I was crazy. Maybe they're right.
I think... I hope... that I don't need to explain what I mean (to most of you). Maybe you've done the same -- spent too much time thinking about the past. I won't say that reflecting on the past is a total waste of time, but it's not entirely productive, either.
That being said, despite all that the WTS took from *me*, it can be pretty heartrending when you learn that others have lost even more. When I recently read some of what some of us are going through day to day, I count my blessings, as few as they are. Hell, compared to many, I'm a lucky man. And I know it. Has nothing to do with me... only a roll of the dice.
----------
I got to thinking about this after learning some stuff about a couple of our fellow posters. Stuff I had no clue of before. For me it put an entirely different spin on the words I've read from both of them for more than a year... one of them, especially. I just didn't know. Had I, my online behavior would have been very, very different. Majorly because I have a daughter.
Of course, those in the Never-Been-A-Dub class are at a severe disadvantage --- if understanding ex-JWs is what they're after. This is not to say anything about their intellect or motives... it's just a fact. Most... I say MOST of the people in this Never-Been-A-Dub category are aware of their limitations when it comes to understanding 'us'. Put them in a room (or a db) full of ex-JWs, and right quick they would one and all realize that they need to shut the hell up and sit over in the corner and do nothing but listen.
I mean... it never fails that when we tell them our stories, all they seem able to do is get this crazy look on their face, shake their head and say, "You're kidding!!? You believed *that*??!!! You allowed *that*??!!!
You left your husband / wife cause "the elders" told you to?
... didn't give your kid a blood transfusion?
... didn't go / weren't allowed to come to your dying father's hospital room?
... didn't see the your cousin married at the Church?
... didn't play sports high school?
... have never voted?
... not EVER?"
The list is endless, the questions they ask when we tell them our stories.
---
On the other hand, some in the Never-Been-A-Dub class (with agendas I've yet to fully understand) make awful, and awfully WRONG, presumptions about situations and people they know absolutely nothing about.
Either way, whether people understand us or not, like us or not, support us or not...
... every life that is lived beyond the walls of that evil cult--that perversion of Christianity--is a victory. We are not happy as we should be... wanna be... or *will* be. But we're still here. Kicking and screaming like a newborn baby, sucking in the air of life.
We have won.
----
'scuse the rant. I just had to say some thangs.