Okay, something has been bugging me and I'm wondering if anyone else suffers from the same thing.
Growing up in the 'truth' I was given many scary 'visuals' as to what could happen in my lifetime. I remember hearing a talk that my family taped that was considered a real eye opener. It described no water, Witnesses living in the cold woods.. your own brother being captured by the officials and ratting you out. It said how you might be told to give up info on your fellow JW's. My family told me that we had to make sure we never told on our brothers and sisters in the Org if we ever got arrested. As you can imagine, this gave me very scary thoughts since I was a toddler.
I have always been told what a scary place the Tribulation would be.. how we might be persecuted, raped, never see our loved ones.. well this always terrorized me to death. I am currently on a kidney list for getting a transplant and I remember years ago being told that I may not always have access to my meds or health treatment in the future. This has always scared me...
One assembly I went to started with an elder beginning a talk. A few minutes later a man walks up to the elder with a note. The elder stops the talk and says,'excuse me everyone. We are surrounded by police and they are preparing to arrest us all. Please get your things ready.' Well you imagine everyone was about to mess their pants until the elder said this was not real and that if you got nervous you better prepare for this thing really happening one day. That still haunts me to this day.
I heard alot of people were not too happy with his 'act' and let him know it. He still says to this day that it was a good reminder for people to stay on their feet and stay active in the 'truth'.
I sometimes have nightmares about the 'End' coming.. I get panicky and scared wondering whats happening. Am I suffering from a post-traumatic disorder or is this my conscience? Does anyone else feel this way?
I would go into a much more detailed explanation of what I mean but I'm seriously sleep deprived today and not making alot of sense!:)
I'd appreciate your thoughts,
Tera