Went to the memorial tonight. It is a shame they don't have the truth you know. It would be nice if it were true. The talk was extremely boring, but it was good to talk to various irregular ones you rarely see otherwise after the meeting. The inactive ones are often the friendlier I find.
Anyway, the memorial got me to thinking that I better stop sitting on the fence: so I have decided to progress spiritually. I need advice from those who know - how long will it take to be appointed? I have a general plan (see below), but I need guidance from those who have served in some way. I think I will also need to invest in that useful publication I heard of some time ago: "how to become an elder in six months." At the memorial we were encouraged to have goals, so...
1 week - start on the ministry again
4 weeks - start giving ministry school talks
8 weeks - start handling microphones
12 weeks - start reading for group and watchtower
14 weeks - start pioneering
18 weeks - start doing sound
5 months - appointed ministerial servant
8 months - give public talks
10 months - appointed elder
1 year - partake at memorial
2 years - become presiding overseer
3 years - go where the need is greater
4 years - appointed circuit overseer
8 years - appointed district overseer
12 years - appointed to branch committee
20 years - appointed to governing body
21 1/2 years - become head of the body resulting in a diminution of power of remaining members - eventually to be scrapped
25 years - announce urgent reform and change of the doctrine that Jesus died on a stake
30 years - retire to a nice mansion in Santa Barbara to write colourful books the remainder of my days
How does that sound for a spiritual plan of progress?