WT policy on funerals and memorials?

Mulan

Can anyone tell me the current policy for funerals and memorial services?

Mom was here today and evening, stayed for dinner, and we talked about the services for Henry. She wants there to be a portion of the service where people in attendance can tell things they want to say about him. (like they do at "worldly" funerals)

I have seen this done at 2 Memorials, but those were for some really prominent ones, like Henry was. I wonder if it makes a difference. The men she is talking about having do the service, I fear won't do it that way. She thinks they will do what she asks them to do.

When my father in law died, I remember the brother he had wanted to do the talk, telling us that it would NOT be a eulogy, and that that would not be appropriate. So, it was pretty impersonal, and mainly was a "witness" for unbelievers. Boring, in other words.

I won't be there, but would like it to be how Mom wants.

I faxed a message to a brother today, that Mom couldn't get on the phone, that she wanted to ask to do the talk. I signed it, and gave both phone numbers, mine and Mom's. His wife called, who is an old friend of mine. She didn't even greet me, when I answered the phone, but asked for Dorothea. So cold. I was pretty surprised.

Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)

Stephanus

They don't get it, do they? The "wordly" ones will be more impressed by a lot of testimonies to a man who was much loved and sorely missed by the people left behind; there is no better "witness" than kind treatment by the religion which claims to care for the deceased. Refusing to "worship the creature" in this manner will only turn people away - to call it a "witness" and pretend it's a "hook" to catch the attention of unbelievers is totally dishonest. Those unbelievers will be offended by the lack of regard their loved one got from the JWs.

StifflersErSlayersBrother

bout 2 years ago i had a good friend who died at 15, he was givin a witness funeral but half his family was "worldly". I dont remember there being a eulogy per se' but there were multiple brothers who got up to speak about him, including his dad and step-dad (Who isnt a dub) if I remember it correctly (Was a rough day for me). Then there was singing and such by some sisters of his favorite kindom song.

MISS YOU DEKE!

DocBob

I remember a letter from the WTS while I was an elder that specifically prohibited allowing anyone who wanted to speak at a JW memorial. Here is the text of the outline for funeral talks that was in use before I stepped down in 1995. I don't know if it has been revised since then:

FUNERAL DISCOURSE

REMARKS REGARDING THE DECEASED (Use any that apply and are appropriate.)
Details regarding age, birth, when married, and so forth
By whom the deceased is survived
Dedication record, including privileges of service
Exemplary qualities displayed by the deceased (Eccl. 7:1)

THE HOPE THE DECEASED ENTERTAINED
Worshiped Jehovah, the God of wisdom, justice, love, power
Had faith in Jesus Christ (Acts 4:12)
Appreciated God's purpdse regarding earth (Gen. 1:28)
Sure to be realized (Isa. 11:9; 55:10, 11; Rev. 21:4)

Why good people die
Disobedience of Adam (-Gen. 3:19; contrast with Genesis 2:7.)
Offspring inherited deat6 (Rom. 5:12)

Condition of the dead
Soul is mortal (Ezek 18:4, 20)
Dead are unconscious (Ps. 146:4; Eccl. 3:19; 9:5, 10)
The resurredion hope
Made possible by sacrifice of Jesus Christ (Matt. 20:28)
Christ's resurrection a guarantee (1 Cor. 15:22, 23)
God uses Jesus to raise the dead (John 5:28, 29)
For the anointed, resurrection is to heavenly life (1 Cor. 15:51-54; Rev. 20:4, 6)
"Other sheep" resurrected to life in earthly Paradise (Luke 23:43; John 10:16)
Armageddon survivors can hope to see the deceased one again soon
Others too are in line for resurrection (Ads 24:15)

WHY IT IS GOOD TO GO TO HOUSE OF MOURNING
Can comfort the bereaved; loss is mutual
Take to heart uncertainty of life (Ps. 90:12; Eccl. 7:2)
Makes us think about how we are using our life

HOW WE CAN BENEFIT FROM BEING HERE
While living, make good name with Jehovah God (Eccl. 7:1)
Lay up treasures in heaven (Matt. 6:19-21)
One way is to take zealous part in witness work, if qualified (Matt. 24:14; 28:19, 20)
In this way and by godly conduct, we contribute to sanctification of Jehovah's name
(Prov. 27:11)
Resurredion hope an incentive to learn and do divine will(l Cor. 15:58)

(Note: Instead of eulogizing the deceased, use the material in this outline to give a fine witness
concerning the truth. Good balance should be observed in this reaped. Dodrinal points can be
presented as beliefs of the deceased, which served as motivation for him. Purpose of talk is to
uphold Jehovah God as a God of love and mercy and at the same time bring comfort to the
bereaved. Use of a song such as No. 102 (53) or 187 (93) is optional. A brief prayer at the close
is fitting When arrangement is made to go to the grave, it is well to consider quite briefly the
hope through the Kingdom, reading one or two scriptures, such as Job 14:14, 15 and
1 Corinthians 15:5413-57. This service may also be closed with prayer, thanking Jehovah for
the resurrection hope, which is of great comfort. The talk need not exceed 30 minutes.)

Printed in U.S.A.
S-3 11/90

lisaBObeesa

DocBob,

As I read what you have posted, I can't believe it. Again I am shocked by the coldness of the Borg. I didn't think I could be shocked any more...

It is so cold, so empty. I feel so terrible for the families.

Mulan, I am sorry for your loss. I hope the cong doesn't give your mom a hard time.

Peace,
LisaBobeesa

DocBob

Hi Lisa,

It sure is cold. Sad that we used find it comforting and encouraging. (I still can't write or say that word "encouraging" without a bit of a chill.)

TMS

My belated condolences, Mulan. I do remember Brother Zinser. He was, indeed, a very nice man. I was a young pioneer lad in Seattle before I moved south.

TMS

Maximus

Doc Bob tells is like it is.

Marilyn, steel yourself for the likelihood they will make a display of wallowing in loyalty to the organization, at your expense, with no thought to your precious mother.

It would be refreshing to hear a different tale later on, but I hear this story over and over and over.

Name, rank and serial number.
WITNESS in stupefying dullness.

I know of a funeral where a young DA widow got up to speak at her husband's funeral, with small grieving children--the JWs left en masse in a disgusting display of "loyalty" to an organization and total disrespect for a good man and his family.

You might try getting someone else to intercede for a true memorial rather than a funeral, so they don't see it as a control issue with you. Appeal for a personalized memorial to sustain your already distraught mother. Hopefully some heart can be touched.

Hurting for you,
Max

teejay

Mulan,

As with weddings, so it is with memorial services: those that want them the way they want them don't have them at the Hall. Just a thought.

peace,
tj

WT policy on funerals and memorials?

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