As some of you may know, Jeff aka Gopher and myself have been living together since last summer. Well he popped the question to me this past Wednesday night and I said "yes!"
What I think I need now is a lot of support from our friends in this forum. There will inevitably be quite a few challenges ahead for us. We are both relatively recently divorced, however what you may not know that each of our previous marriages with members of the Watchtower Society were... to say the least...disastrous.
Any experiences or suggestions as far dealing with ex-spouses (one at least has already made it clear that I "should go back to my ex") or any other advice on making the most out of a second walk down the isle would be so greatly appreciated.
We don't have a date yet.. possibly later this summer??
A second walk down the aisle is much better than the first walk.
My first was a jw disastrous marriage too. I was married to this jerk for two years, ended getting pregnant, he needed his space so I left the loser and went back home to Canada. He had left the religion after our divorce but didn't stay out long and came back to it. So he now lives way down in North Carolina. He never wanted anything to do with our daughter until she turned 18 years old (now that he doesn't have to pay support for her), but that's a whole different story.
Anyway the second walk is much nicer, I married my best friend, the love of my life, he is a wonderful man. We do have our ups and downs, like all marriages but we will be celebrating 20 years of marriage next year, so we must be doing something right
Y'all I am so happy for you! Finding the right partner is such a difficult journey! But just remember the crappy situations really help us appreciate the good ones. I'm on my second marriage and it's NOTHING like the first. NOTHING. Thank God! I think we all learn what NOT to do because of first marriages. Haha!
congrats! now you two DO know that if you get 'handfasted' (ie: engaged) on Beltaine(which was Wednesday night) it will last two lifetimes right?--so as long as you errrrr.....'renew' your vows on that date(April30th/May1st)every year you will be together for eternity!
Congratulations Gopher & Yourschelbie! That is wonderful!
The best advice I can give is not to let whatever the exes may try to pull interfere with the happiness you have found together. That is not to say that the exes won't cause you stress, but if you remain focused on your relationship and the new family that you are creating rather than letting whatever they are doing become the focus, you will weather whatever they may throw at you and come out stronger in the end.
The exes were there when you got together, and if there are children involved, they will be a factor in your life until the children are grown - that you cannot change. But work together and support each other to resolve whatever comes your way and the miserable exes will be nothing more than an annoyance in the grand scheme of things. ( Very important to look at the big picture) Neither of you can control what your respective exes may decide to do if they are into trying to make you miserable. But you can control how you react to it and how you let it affect your realtionship. Getting married again can certainly bring out the monster in some exes, and I can say that from personal experience with miserable exes on both sides! But sticking together and supporting each other will help you get through any crap they decide to pull.
Again, congratulations and I wish you both much happiness!
