Although I've attended and organised Apostafests in the past, I have never attended an Ex-JW Meet-up before. I did turn up for one in Sydney several months ago, but no one else turned up.
So it was with a bit of trepidation (and natural shyness) that I decided to go to today's Ex-JW Meet-Up. I moved to Melbourne a few months ago, and apart from the ex-jws I met via this site, I didn't know any others. It was a pleasant Saturday afternoon, I had nothing else to do, and hopefully, nothing to lose either.
So I turned up at the nominated cafe at 5pm. The inner-city street was bustling with other cafe-goers and trendoids. The area is one of those arty-farty places where the cool people hang out along with the rest of us humans.
I stepped inside the cafe. Hmmm, how to spot an ex-jw? The cafe was half-full. A few people on their own, three middle-aged gentlemen at one table, a few young hip people on their way out. I wondered if the middle-aged might have been part of the Meet-Up group, but their finished plates and glasses indicated they had been here for some time.
I looked outside the cafe. No one else looking as lost or probably feeling as silly as I did. I had told the waiter that I was here to meet some friends, yet these people I was looking out for I had never met before. I didn't even know what they looked like!
Eventually a man and a woman turned up outside the cafe, looking as if they were waiting for someone. A minute later another man turned up, they greeted each other and instead of going into the cafe, waited around a little more, as if they were expecting someone else. The first man walked up to a gentleman sitting on his own in the cafe, who had moved to a table outside so he could smoke. The first man asked this gentleman something, but the gentleman replied in the nagative. Hmmmm. HMMMMMM. Maybe these people are waiting for other Meet-Up people? I decided to walk outside and ask them. After all, I had nothing to lose.
I approached the woman. Catching her eye, she smiled back back at me. I took a deep breath and asked,
"Are you part of the Ex-JW Meet-Up group?"
"Yes!"
Phew! I was introduced to the others and we went inside the cafe. Since none of them post here (although one of them has in the past and may lurk from time to time) and don't know I'm posting this, I'll just refer to them by their first initials.
N, the first gentleman, is an ex-elder who left several years ago. His wife (separated) and children are still hard-core JWs. The woman, L, left only a couple of years ago. J is the second guy, who as a child/young adult had been a JW in many different countries. All had the same story in that when they had doubts/problems and approached the elders about it, they were told to "wait on Jehovah" and were expected to stifle their doubts or feelings.
We were later approached by a woman, who asked the same question as I did. V is a silent-lamb, who didn't realise how rampant the molestation issue is, until she saw the "Sunday" program televised on Channel 9. Her husband, a never-been-JW, was there too, and wants to do something to help the JW kids who have grown up in this religion. "We need to raise awareness," he said, "when can we go picket them?" (Did I mention he's in the union movement? lol)
We had a great time talking about our past experiences, and about our lives now. We all agreed that there was NOTHING that would ever make us want to go back - NOTHING!!
After two hours of talking, we had to say goodbye. We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses, and agreed to meet again at the next Meet-Up.
So if you've never gone to a Meet-Up, and are thinking of going, or unsure if you should, I would definitely recommend it. I'd put off going, and almost didn't go today, but I'm glad I did. I've made some new friends, and it has reinforced that I made the right decision in leaving the JWs.
Lurkers: If you live in the Melbourne area, and you would like to go to the Meet-Up, or perhaps meet some other ex-jws informally, send me a Private Message, and I will see if I can organise something.