How about Home Schooling?

by joannadandy 9 Replies latest social family

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  joannadandy

  Ok first off this is the first time I have ever made up a topic. GO ME!

  Secondly, I was reading another thread about teen development and the Borgs control over adolescents, and that got me to thinking. I dont know what anyone elses experiences were like in their congregations but 85% of the kids in my hall were home schooled their entire lives, or were taking correspondence courses instead of attending high school. This was a really high percentage considering how many kids we had in our congregation (we were quite the baby factory). The reasons were of course, bad association was limited, they got to spend more time in field service, etc. But really it created socially inept people. I recall that the home-schooled witness kids had no idea what was socially acceptable behavior. They were crass, rude, dysfunctional, and embarrassing to be around. Blissfully unaware that they were considered abnormal, or that there might be other religious views in the world.

  I am going into public education. I fully understand why some parents choose to home school their children. But it also takes a really good parent and child combination in order to be able to handle that kind of responsibility, lets face it-most JW parents arent up to the task. Sure my friends were taking correspondence courses but they were in multiplication and long division. Few of them were exposed to computers, science, etc. (Though reading the post on an Awake education I am sure they will be fine *sarcasm*) it always stuck with me that what the Witness parents were doing was NOT RIGHT! It took several of my friends extra time to finish high school degrees, rather than finishing early like was expected at the beginning. A few never finished at all. It also takes a great network. Cutting yourself and your child off from any social contact with peers is downright dangerous, and thought of as unhealthy by most child psychologists. And I am inclined to agree.

  Meanwhile I was considered bad association. I went to school, heck my parents even let me participate in some outside activities so I got to network with people outside the Borg. My parents knew full well I was responsible enough to know the difference between right and wrong and that some social contact was needed with people out of the Borg. And the final straw was when I signed up for a 4-year degree so I could get my teaching license.

  Anyway, all of the posts I had been reading plus the fact that I am very interested in education and child development got me thinking about home schooling and I wondered if other congregations had high numbers of home-schoolers. All thoughts and experiences will be helpfulI also know Minnesota tends to have quite a few home-schoolers(maybe it's just a regional thing)
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  Pierced Angel

  Hi Joanna,

  I homeschooled my daughter for 4 1/2 years. I wasn't exactly Ms. Pioneer, lol, so I think it helped me keep an open mind towards my daughter's education. I had planned on homeschooling so she could travel, spend more time on her talents, etc. It was very positive for my daughter. The problem started when I started getting more involved with my business. Then she had to go to school. Turns out she is very popular, just made pompons and got straight a's on her end of school report card. I gave up a lot of my time to make it work and to keep her "out there" socializing and all that. It was fun, but I'm glad we're not doing it anymore. It's too hard for one person all the time to try and help them along with all those subjects, uggh. It's not the healthiest thing in the world for the parent that takes on the responsibility. I think if you approach it with enthusiasm, don't try to keep your child under your thumb and keep things balanced it can definitely be better than public schooling. Just trying to do it all though is not easy in the world we live in. If we didn't have neighbors and close access to libraries, museums, sports, I'd probably not have done it. I would have gone crazy, lol.

  She just chimed in and said she loved it most of all because she could sleep in every morning. LOL, kids.
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  AuntieJane

  Anyone know of JW's who have private schools? My relatives in another state don't actually home school, but their kids and others go to someone's home for school. I've wondered how this is legal.

  Would appreciate any input.
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  joannadandy

  Which state is it?

  I have't heard of that before...
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  Prisca

  Joanne, I totally agree with you about home schooling. I think going to a public school helps the child to learn to socialise with all groups of people, and to learn how to socialise and get on with people they might not even like.

  When I was in high school, many JW parents were pulling out their kids early, citing "bad associations" and the "last days" (this was during the mid-80s). Thankfully my father saw the advantages of a full education, and allowed me to finish high school.

  Home schooling only seemed to have taken off here in Australia in the past 10 years. Many parents in my sister's congregation are home-schooling their kids, and pressure was put upon my sister home school her daughter. However, my sister has neither the time nor the inclination to do that, and feels that allowing her daughter go to school will equip her to interact with other people.

  I also feel that it was advantageous for Witness kids to attend school, as it taught us to stand on our own 2 feet in regards to JW matters (birthdays, easter, christmas, patriotism). Thus it made it easier to say "no" to things later in life as a JW, cos we were already trained to stand up for ourselves as JWs, without mummy or daddy standing behind us.
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  Jewel

  Well, not sure where to start here...

  We've been homeschooling since we took our oldest daughter out of school in first grade. My youngest two kids have never been in school. We have LOTS of friends who homeschool. We started homeschooling because we wanted our happy, eager-to-learn, healthy daughter back. We have kept at it for more than 8 years because it has been so great for our kids and for us as a family. One of the big reasons that we have kept homeschooling is socialization.

  We didn't want our kids learning socialization skills from similarly socially unskilled age mates. As someone once said, letting children socialize themselves produces results that tend toward The Lord of the Flies. From what I've seen from groups of children in social situation, this observation is particularly apt.

  My kids are bright, extremely well informed, read voraciously and are very comfortable in social situations. My oldest daughter's riding instructor regularly calls her to help on days when they have school groups visiting the stable because she is good with horses and "comfortable with all age groups". My son is a leader (was awarded Student of the Year last year) in his Karate Club (a regional group). My middle daughter is noted for being very good with smaller kids and is great demand in the area for babysitting. My fourteen year old is eagerly preparing to start college at 16. Our neighbor, who has a daughter about the age of my daughters, was just telling me how grateful she is for moving here because my kids are such great playmates-no meanness, no backstabbing, no cruelty to others.

  My husband teaches college courses and has visited area high schools for various discussions with classes in his field. He has only become more convinced, after seeing the dysfunctions of schools, that homeschooling is the right thing for us to be doing. He also sees the results of the public education system in his classroom every fall. Not only are many new graduates unable to do college level work and must be educationally remediated to bring them to the 9th grade level (they don't even try for what used to be college level anymore), but most have had any enthusiasm, eagerness to learn, or self-expression squashed long since.

  I know LOTS of homeschooled kids. None of them are socially, educationally, or emotionally retarded-even the ones from fundamentalist families. We are NOT Witnesses, not even Christian. We are members of a homeschooling group that includes atheists, Christians, fundamentalist Christians, Muslim and Jewish families. My kids wouldn't get these exposures if they attended the very religiously homogenized local school district.

  >>>I am going into public education<<<

  You're not going to hear much about homeschooling in an Education degree program. If you're really interested, look up the Home Education Magazine website. The NEA has always taken an extremely negative position to homeschooling because we threaten their stranglehold on public education and therefore their power base. Just like finding out about the WTBS, you'd be foolish to go the their official website for balanced information. Get on the web and do a little investigation-or find a local group of homeschoolers and get to know them as people. (Hint-Look for an inclusive group)

  Few of them were exposed to computers, science, etc.

  My kids are most interested in Math and Science-another stereotype bites the dust. One of my daughters won the local school district's science fair two years running (beating out her public schooled peers). She is primarily interested in astronomy. My other daughter is pursuing Biology, specifically Ornithology and Animal Sciences. She plans to be a veterinarian. My son is interested in the Physical Sciences and is planning to study engineering.

  My relatives in another state don't actually home school, but their kids and others go to someone's home for school. I've wondered how this is legal

  Homeschooling is legal in all states. Some states consider homeschools to be private schools. Visit the Home Education Magazine website and you can find the regulations involving homeschooling for each state as well as correspond with homeschoolers from different states to see how the regulations in a state work in real life.

  Jewel, stepping off her soapbox
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  outnfree

  Joanna,

  Only two families at our KH in Michigan home-schooled their children. One was an elder's wife and the other was a 'spiritual widow' who had recently moved North from FL and found out that the school district she lived in was not a very good one.

  Another 'sister' attempted it for a year, but found the commitment very difficult. (I helped her teach English as that wasn't her forte.) Her son went back to public school.

  I think a parent who home-schools must be very dedicated and very aware of his/her child's need for socialization. There are groups around who plan activities for home-schooled children and incorporating these outings -- some are educational, others social, in nature -- into the child's curriculum would seem to be an absolute must. After all, school kids have field trips and assembly days and recess where they get to play with others informally. Balance is the key, and very difficult to find -- even if you aren't a member of a mind-control cult!
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  saltiest

  I remember in my congregation and actually many of the surrounding ones, dropping out of high school to get your GED was the BIG thing. I don't know how many times I was encouraged to drop out! I was known for skipping school, but sheesh, that was a bit absurd.. It helped that my parents didn't pressure me to be an A student and to enjoy the courses I was good at. Otherwise, I think I may have done the cop-out GED thing.

  It was scary, seeing 15 year old or younger dropping out of school, so they could Auxillary Pioneer. Oh, I shudder just thinking about it. In our area there was this one school that a sister worked at, some alternative school. She was one of the very few honest sisters, and I recall her quitting because she was overtaken by all the witness children at her school. I guess everyone needs a break from it all.

  Finally, I'm making it back to school this fall. My mom (still a JW) is always updating me on all those my age and who previously considered me their friend (of course, I have no interest in what they're doing now). Apparently going to community college is the IN thing now. Go figure. I leave and it becomes cool. Very irritating, but how things usually go with JW's, back and forth.

  Alicia
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  Xander

  In general? HELL NO!!!

  But,

  that homeschooling is the right thing for us to be doing

  I think I agree. You seem to have responsibility for the situation.

  I am a product of the public school systems and am VERY intelligent. The public schools to tend to encourage that. The problem IS NOT PUBLIC SCHOOLS. The problem is parents who don't encourage education OUTSIDE of school.

  Education (not just sex ed or religious) is equally the parents and the states responsibility. Homeschooling pushes more of that on the parents, which is okay if the parents are balanced - as you seem to be.

  The problem is that the same lazy parents who don't support their kids enough in public schools for them to excel will do that much worse when they pull their kids out.

  My sister-in-law is like that. My neice is 5 and can't even spell her name. Forget the alphabet. Can't read, etc. She won't be sent to school because of 'bad association'. Gods above, it PISSES ME OFF to see a mind go to waste like that.

  With a few rare exceptions every single human being is born with the potential to be as just as smart as any other. Good parents make ALL the difference here.

  (I'm going to make another plug for my 'mandatory sterilization at birth that can only be undone by passing qualified-parenting tests' plan again)
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  joannadandy

  Xander I couldn't agree more!

  Pricia-I always thought that "letting them stand on their own two feet" was important too. In fact as someone who had to go to public school and stand up for myself ALL the time, I was pissed that the other kids got out of it so easy!

  Acutally in my public education program they talk a lot about home schooling.

  But the point of my orginal post wasn't really to spark a debate over if home schooling is good or bad. As I said in my orginal post some parents and kids really thrive at it. And I agree Jewel, leaving kids alone to socialize themselves is irresponsible too.

  The main point I was trying to get was how JW parents seemed to be using home schooling as the ultimate control of their kids, and an excuse for not dealing with school issues, meanwhile they had NO CONTROL of their kids, who did nothing with their studies, etc.

  Now I am rambling tho...grumble grumble, do I ever have a point?