Psychology of prayer

by Introspection 8 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • Introspection
    Introspection

    It seems there has been much talk on prayer lately, and I thought it would be helpful for us to discuss the psychological nuts and bolts, without getting into the realm of religious belief. Regardless of whether the source of change is human or divine mind, I think we can agree that the mind is a powerful thing, capable of affecting real change.

    My guess is most of us don't pray for money or material things, but those of us who do basically ask for two things: direction and strength, or you might say knowledge and power. I recall that as JWs, we were taught to be specific in our prayers. It occurs to me that we assume we know or can know what it is that we want, (perhaps we do, but it may not be what we actually need) and we are essentially asking for a higher power to do our bidding. Naturally, those of us who are leaving the organization are likely to be hurt, but I'd like to point out that like physical pain, it indicates something is wrong. If we did not have pain at all we would never notice more serious problems, it is simply a signal that points to the real problem. I think it is important to recognize the complexity of the issues involved rather than get caught up in our feelings. It may seem overwhelming at first, but surely those who still believe in God don't think that we should be sheltered from all harm without ever having to understand any of it.

    The following quotes are from the book Be Careful What You Pray For ... You Just Might Get It by Larry Dossey, MD. Dossey served as co-chairman of the original Panel on Mind/Body Interventions, Office of Alternative Medicine at the National Institutes of Health and is the executive editor of Alternative Therapies, a peer-reviewed journal. My intention for sharing these quotes is not to cause any alarm, but to encourage us to think about the possible implications that our prayers might have.

    One of the most helpful frameworks for thinking about how prayer backfires has been developed by sociologist Charles Perrow. Unintended consequences occur, he states, when we intervene in complex technological systems whose components are so intimately connected that changes in one part of the system results in unforseen changes in others. In such a system, Perrow states, "operator error" is inevitable.

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    The issue is not that we pray, but how we pray. When something goes wrong in our life, we tend to invoke prayers involving highly specific, designated outcomes. We're certain we have the knowledge to set things right, and we waste no time telling the Absolute what to do. We do not realize we are interfering in a highly complex, tightly coupled system that, when tweaked, often responds in unpredictable ways. Giving orders with prayer invites disaster. It is rather like hitting a card table from below, hoping that the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle on top will fall into greater order than before. This may happen, but usually the result is more disorganization.

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    Our lives are exquisitely linked with the members of our family, community, nation, and world. Our tight coupling with others and our world sets the stage for a negative outcome when we employ specific interventions ... When the results are worse than before, prayer is often blamed for "not working." But the real problem may not be prayer, but an operator error--how prayer is used and what is asked for."

    Of course, this begs the question: How are we supposed to pray? I think this is where acceptance comes in. To affect change, we have to first understand where we're coming from, so we have to see where things are at the present moment, rather than just wanting the suffering to be over.

    We may also find ourselves praying for strength to cope, rather than having a specific agenda. This is fine, but I think we need to be wise in how we invest our energy, just as Stephen has pointed out through Caroline Myss' work. This idea of coping and "hanging in there" seems to imply not doing anything, just allowing things to continue as they are, which inevitably leads to a feeling of stagnation. While I think we should clearly assess the situation, it is also within our power to do something about it. It may be small at first and it may be slow, but the important thing is to begin, and that starts with our intention.

    Please, share your thoughts on this topic. It seems to me it is very important to many who are breaking away and if we make some sense of it, it would no doubt be helpful.

  • stephenw20
    stephenw20

    great thread INTRO!

    “It may seem overwhelming at first, but surely those who still believe in God don't think that we should be sheltered from all harm without ever having to understand any of it.”

    Intro, I think this goes to outlook , perspective, philosophy of life. Many see a missed airplane as stressful situation, some as a chance to read more or grab a cappuccino. Is life good or bad or is it just life, to learn from?

    quote:
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    The issue is not that we pray, but how we pray. When something goes wrong in our life, we tend to invoke prayers involving highly specific, designated outcomes. We're certain we have the knowledge to set things right, and we waste no time telling the Absolute what to do. We do not realize we are interfering in a highly complex, tightly coupled system that, when tweaked, often responds in unpredictable ways. Giving orders with prayer invites disaster. It is rather like hitting a card table from below, hoping that the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle on top will fall into greater order than before. This may happen, but usually the result is more disorganization.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    On the point of outcomes, I have come to see, we are not responsible for that part. That s where our will , and responsibility ends. We are responsible to do the work and let the end result be what it is. If its not as we expected, step back and see what lesson is there. Many lose perspective, find depression and become ill when the expected does not happen.
    This where trust of the higher power for the bigger picture comes in.

    quote:
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Our lives are exquisitely linked with the members of our family, community, nation, and world. Our tight coupling with others and our world sets the stage for a negative outcome when we employ specific interventions ... When the results are worse than before, prayer is often blamed for "not working." But the real problem may not be prayer, but an operator error--how prayer is used and what is asked for."
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I like the line about being worse off than before. Operator error. If prayer becomes the “ROTE” recital of words, there is little personal about it. It would be better to say fewer words, understanding what we are asking for. When we ask for strength , consider how does one usually gain strength. If it is physical strength we seek, its through days, months and years of daily training. Yet from the emotional and spiritual side, some would rather have the Mcdonalds version. Is that a fair expectation , to have, to do no real inner work and have miracles just befall us 24/7.

    “ To affect change, we have to first understand where we're coming from, so we have to see where things are at the present moment, rather than just wanting the suffering to be over. “
    Its tough to pray for endurance and expect you wont have a situation that will let you gain it........or be upset you do........ its what you asked for.

    The lords prayer contains asking for forgiveness and freely forgiving others...

    ..who do you forgive?.......someone that never harms you.?.....its asked for and when received, many say: why me.......?

    “This is fine, but I think we need to be wise in how we invest our energy, just as pointed out through Caroline Myss' work. This idea of coping and "hanging in there" seems to imply not doing anything, just allowing things to continue as they are, which inevitably leads to a feeling of stagnation. “

    About Ms Myss’ message. on” the hanging in there.”.....its always nice to hear
    “ I am making the best of it”.....best of it?

    this is your life........this is your gift............ this is your PHD in Earth Education....making the best of it?........if the outlook is just lasting till something good happens , because you did not get the love you wanted, you are not in the job you want, where is the appreciation for the gift?........

    YOU ARE HERE!........ gratitude....... love the package......... it will surely change become more mystical........

    and if it seems not to be.........your learning endurance.........

  • Introspection
    Introspection

    Here's a bit more from Be Careful What You Pray For... I suspect that some who are just leaving might be very sensitive to words like evolution, I know I was. Please note that in this context it only points to the development of a trait.

    One might wonder whether we have some sort of biological predilection for negativity. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, professor and former chairman of the University of Chicago's Department of Psychology, explains in his admirable book, The Evolving Self, why the mind seems to drift inevitably toward unhappiness. He suggests that we may be hardwired for negativity. A pessimistic bias may have been ingrained in our thinking through the long course of evolution. According to evolutionary theory, those traits and behaviors that help an organism survive and reproduce become built in biologically and are perpetuated in subsequent generations. Unhappiness, not happiness Csikszentmihalyi proposes, is more likely to help an organism survive in a hostile environment. If we dwell on negative possibilities, we will be more alert and poised to responed to dangerous events that could happen at any time. "By dwelling on unpleasant possibilities," Csikszentmihalyi states, "we will be better prepared for the unexpected." If this hypothesis is correct, the mind has become trained across our species' long history to turn toward negative thoughts, like a compass needle points northward.

    The possible link between our biology and our fascination with the negative side of life raises interesting questions about religion. One of the distinguishing characteristics of many Western religious views is their focus on the innate depravity of human beings and their need to be redeemed or saved. Could our collective religious fascination with the dark side of human nature be a hangover from our remote biological past? Do we find the image of intrinsic depravity more alluring than inner divinity because we have a built-in bias toward unhappiness? Are we destined by our DNA to be more enchanted by our weaknesses than our glory?

    If our capacity to focus on negative possibilites and to be unhappy has given us a survival advantage in our long evolutionary history, then unhappiness is a friend and ally deserving our respect and gratitude. Were it not for our intrinsic capacity to feel sad, we might not be around to lament the fact that we are not always ecstatic. Instead of trying to pray away our melancholy, we might consider giving thanks the next time we feel down in the dumps, recalling that unhappiness has paved the way for happiness across the eons. From this perspective we might see that gloominess and joy, like light and shadow, are really in cahoots. This perspective might actually help us endure sadness and might prevent us from becoming trapped in that pathetic, negative feedback loop of becoming unhappier about not feeling happy. If we realized the value of unhappiness in life--not just in our individual life but in the history of our species--we might be more balanced, more stable, and tougher. We might need less Valium.

    In view of the potential of our prayers to make matters worse, it is easy to drift into a sense of futility and to abandon prayer altogether. But we should not give up on prayer. There is an expert who knows the specific interventions needed in any complex situation--the Absolute--God, Goddess, Allah, the Tao, Brahman, Universe, however named. Scientists have recently discovered new evidence of this wisdom and have been inventing new terms for it. Experts in chaos theory, for example, have stumbled onto a force called a "strange attractor," an invisible ordering principle or "tug from in front" that guides current situations toward more highly ordered, future states. Some scientists believe that this apparent goal directedness is evidence of a Universal Intelligence, or God, working behind the scenes. The details of these developments need not conern us here. The point is that an innate, invisible wisdom does seem to be present in the universe. We are not required to understand this ordering force. Our task instead may be to cooperate and not interfere with it and to facilitate it where we can--perhaps by setting our personal agendas aside and praying "Thy will be done" instead of "My will be done."
  • crossroads
    crossroads

    Intro-yes a very good topic-that being said probably won't
    get much air play. I hope I'm wrong.
    Thy will be done-thy will be done-thy will be done
    Finding it hard to pray a lot , the ones that I notice too be
    answered are the ones where I say " Well it's me I'm again
    in this very dark place and its getting darker". I tell the Great
    One what the story is knowing full well how I want things to
    go.But althourgh the prayer saying I'm putting it all in your
    hands what ever you want. HE always seems to answer
    but not once has it been the answer I wanted at the time.
    Garth Brooks says some of "Gods greatest gifts are
    unanswered prayers". I've come to believe in a very short
    time[ever since HE showed me the light-4 months ago]
    That whom ever but this whole universe in order and keeps
    it there does answer. Most of the time we humans who
    say he doesn't are really saying I don't like your answer
    so I'll go it alone.
    Peace and Love-Mark

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Great thread, intro! You certainly match your name.

    I don't have much more to add, though it has occurred to me that prayer is more often for the emotional and spiritual benefit of the one praying than for anything that was actually asked for.

    What I mean is, that when you pray, it concentrates your thoughts on to the thing/s you are asking for. By doing this, your mind is less distracted by other matters, and mentally you are able to focus on what you truly need.

    Othertimes, other thoughts may come in, which may be your sub-concious mind saying to you "you need to give this some attention". They may be things you thought were unrelated, yet they come up. It could be the Almighty putting those thoughts in your mind. Who's to know?

    When you finish praying, your mind is refreshed, and able to recognise the real issues. Hopefully then an answer comes along, whether or not it was what you asked for.

    Crossroads, I like that Garth Brooks song as well - sometimes we certainly can "Thank God for Unanswered Prayers".

  • stephenw20
    stephenw20

    Prisca,
    you look more like Sandra each day.........

    "thoughts may come in, which may be your sub-concious mind saying to you "you need to give this some attention". They may be things you thought were unrelated, yet they come up. "

    yes this guidance system is built in...what s not built in,is being able to hear it, believe the answer and say.."are you talkin to me.".. in your best Robert Deniro voice

    just like the body or any other skill we learn it develops over time......growing in grace....not into it.........

    caio~
    S

  • Introspection
    Introspection

    Hi Prisca,

    Yes, I think sometimes prayer is a lot like meditation in that regard. I guess the difference is most forms of meditation is about acceptance, whereas prayer is more directed and often focused on making things happen. I think there should be a balance between the two. When I was on this meditation retreat, I really felt like playing because I didn't have any big issues to deal with, whereas many others were dealing with serious emotional turmoil, cancer and the like. Finally one of the teachers I interviewed with asked me to consider what I want to do, not in the grasping, clinging sense but there is a matter of one's personal life direction. Well, I didn't come to very specific conclusions but I think I have achieved some clarity, got my bearings. But as Stephen points out, in a sense I've had that direction all along.

  • arimatthewdavies
  • isaacaustin
    isaacaustin

    arimatthewdavies, you seem to have so much to say.

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