Witness teens /mental health probs in future?

termite 35

There was a very interesting programme on Radio4 this afternoon-dealing with teenagers and their possible problems.

I feel that many Witness teens maybe heading for mental health problems due to the issues raised today.

We all know that JW teens are encouraged by the society to follow the leadership of the org.regarding the problems they may face during this difficult time.

The society has made it seem as though it is facing these problems by producing books and magazine articles especially for teens; but how useful are they?

Apparently to grow a healthy teen you need many things.See if you think the points I remembered(there were many more)could explain mental health problems for witnesses in later life...

1.It's not rebellion that makes a healthy teenager; the most sucessful ones question and are ALLOWED to question.

2.In doing this they 'find' their OWN wat in life and learn to be comfortable in their own skins.

3.Teenagers understand the world and how to survive in it by exploring it in their OWN way.

4.Telling a teen 'these are the rules you should follow' make for unhappy teens...and unheathy mental health.

4..When parents realise that a teen is PREPROGRAMMED to need to discover who they are; they can stop taking it personally and remember that the teen has to find their own path for their own mental growth.

5.Stunting a teens natural tendancy to 'strike' out on their own actually harms their coping abilities in the future.

6.Teenagers who have not been allowed to follow their own thinking for a while end up not having enough self esteem to even start THINKING about theses things.This is where the problems start.

They will lack the life coping skills that other sucessful teens have; they will be more prone to depression; self harm;mental illness and suicide.

Self harm is a classic example of a teen who has'nt questioned and therefore has'nt learnt to cope on their own, mentally.The cutting satisfies and releases feeling that are incommunicable due to repression in those years.

So please; all you witness parents- just because your child want to question, don't think they are rebellious in a bad sense- if they do question it proves you have brought them up well so far.Don't spoil their future mental well-being by stopping them on their last stage of growth in to adult mental health.

Let them question and speak openly without fear of reproach from you;help to set them up for adult hood.

ballistic

termite, I was one of the prozac teen Jehovah's Witnesses. I could never face coming off medication even after I had left. It took years to recover. I can truthfully say that coming off anti-depressants and giving up smoking was purley down to this web site.

wholewheat

I have never experienced the kind of oppression that you mentioned. I am not aware of anyone in the truth having to endure the kind of 'mind control' that has been claimed by some. It is good that children question and probe, how else can they learn? The Bible commands parents to bring their children up in the ways of Jehovah, that is their responsibility, and when the child is 18 years old, he/she is free to do as he/she chooses. Living a clean life has it's benefits, wouldn't you agree?

termite 35

Hey Ballistic-you've come a LONG way then! Coming off medication and stopping smoking are amazingly difficult things to do.

Do you think you needed more space to question when you were younger?

It sounded like good common sense when I heard it today;and makes me feel so sorry for all the teenagers I used to be allowed to talk to, who sounded too old at 14,15.

There was one lovely family with three teen boys, who were great;very bright and funny; but when they spoke sometimes sounded -empty- like their life was scripted, which I suppose it was.It was strange for someone not raised a JW to hear teenagers talk like that; It did make you wonder how would they cope when the real world hit them.

Can I ask you why you left?

lisaBObeesa

Termite,

Yes! You are right!

JW teens are not allowed to develop normally.

I wrote a post on this:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=10438&site=3

Raising teenagers in the JW way is ABUSIVE.

It kills me when JWs say that a young person has left the Org because they wanted to have fun. The young people who get out leave because they want to be THEMSELVES. How surprised JW parents would be to learn that that is the best and most healthy thing their kids could do!!

--LisaBObeesa

PS: Wholewheat,

JW childeren are not allowed to 'question' and 'probe'. They are allowed to believe and act like JWs, PERIOD. They are 'encouraged' to get baptized around the age of 16 or so , and, then when they are 18 years old, yes, they are free to leave the JWs and be shunned by all their family and friends. Nice freedom.

termite 35

Wholewheat; Of course living a clean life has benefits-I lead one without being a teenage witness.

I think the point the prog. was trying to make was that teens who are not allowed to rebel are more likely to suffer in the future through lack of life coping skills.They specifically said NOT necessarily in overt rebelliousness.

They said children need to question.

I can honestly say when I started to question anything when I was a witness I would feel the disaproval.You talk about teens doing what they like at 18; but by then they may seem outwardly ok- but if they hav'nt felt free to question and to be allowed to hold opposing opinions to their parents; which is part of the seperating process for young humans;they could lack coping skills and come to harm mentally later.Many of the self cutters were 'good' girls-but so obedient they did'nt want to upset anyone by opposing them ;so they self harmed instead.It was their way of silently screeming...

I can see a problem with the 'mental regulating'Jehovahs witnesses demand.It dos'nt allow the very freedom these teens need to grow and mature.

People who think for themselves are not the dregs of society!!!

termite 35

Lisa bobeesa(nice name!)I read your thread-good points.

You are so right; if only the witness parents whose children leave would realise they are trying to push forwards on their own.The only problem then though is that they've got the other problems that go with leaving the org; so they'll still have a hard time.They hold on to them so tightly, mentally, that they stifle their natural enthusiasm;if the mental regulating was'nt so persistant and started so young they may stand a chance ,sometimes it was like a bloody dog show...

'Jane is 3 and she can recite matthew 24;14 - go on honey...'

They make the children little adults and skip teenage altogether don't they?

radiolady

Just from personal experience, my daughter is having a hell of a time. She is now 22 and has a whole host of problems that I wish I could help her with. I know in my heart that it is due to her being raised from birth as a witness. She left with me at first when she was 12, but I stupidly let her go back with her dad who is now my ex-husband. He and his new wife pretty much forced her to attend meetings to which she absolutely hated. She was trained the same way I was when I came into "the truth" at 16...don't worry about getting schooling for a future job etc. She started out okay at first and then she lost her job, her new car, her apartment and she has Fibromyalgia...just like her mom. The thing is...I woke up, I have three jobs and am at least somewhat motivated. She, one the other hand is just not motivated. She now lives with me and I cannot get her to do anything...I cannot encourage her enough to find a job, get mental help or anything like that. I believe she is suffering from Bi-polar type symptoms. It's really hard after they become adults because you really cannot tell them what to do...I mean, you can tell them, but they just look at you and say they understand what you're talking about and then don't do a damn thing about it. I remember those days when I could not get motivated and I didn't have anyone to help me...I had to just pull myself up with every bit of strength that I had left in me and do it myself. I realize everyone is different and I don't fault my daughter at all for what she is going through. I'm just angry at the whole situation. I will say though that she manages to get up after sleeping all day and go dance at a club to try and make some money but she won't look for a regular job! Sheesh! My fiance' thinks that I need to practice tough love...I'm beginning to think that he is right.

lisaBObeesa

I remember those days when I could not get motivated and I didn't have anyone to help me...I had to just pull myself up with every bit of strength that I had left in me and do it myself.

Radiolady,

Whatever you daughter's problem, it must be very difficult for you to watch her go through it.

There are many places for parents to get help and support, but it may take a little searching. You don't have to do this one on your own. Find help and support for yourself. You deserve it.

(((((((((radiolady))))))))))

-LisaBObeesa

radiolady

Thanks Lisa! I had an interesting discussion with her this evening which resulted in her getting mad at me...but all in all...I believe she understands where I'm coming from. I have to come down hard on her for her own good. She is extremely sensitive. I know there is help, however, I'm afraid it will just be me getting the help...I can't seem to get her out of bed long enough to do anything. She did tell me that she would start looking for a job this week. I told her that she told me that last week and the week and month before. So, I'll keep you posted as to what happends at the beginning of next week...we shall see. I want to trust and believe in her, but this is getting old really fast. She needs her own place where she can have her privacy and we can have ours. My fiance' has been extremely patient with her but it is wearing thin and I cannot blame him. Either do something or get some help where someone can help you do something to help yourself...don't just sit there.

Thank you for letting me vent. (These three jobs are getting to me, but a change is on the horizon!...I'll keep you posted about that too!)

Tammy Morgan FM107 "Real Life, conversation

Witness teens /mental health probs in future?

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