Saddam Hussein Starts Bible Study
Baghdad - At the eve of what is more and more likely to become all-out war with the United States, it seems that the Prime Ruler of Iraq, Saddam Hussein, elected last year in a landslide election where he got 100% of all votes, has undertaken a major mission of his own: to increase his religious knowledge. He has done so by starting a Bible Study with a rather bewildered Publisher from his local, secret Baghdad Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses.
"We always used to meet in Mohammed's camel shed, but now we hold the Book Study at the Palace of the Great Leader!" Mohammed told us excitedly during an interview immediately before his next study. "Saddam approves of the Society's stance on women's rights, but we're still trying to win him over to the fact that he is part of Satan's world," the Publisher gesticulated wildly.
While rumours of Saddam's demise as a Muslim seem to be greatly exaggerated, this reporter has learnt that the Great Leader has even been seen out in Field Service, handing over small pamphlets featuring titles like "The UN: United Government, or Tool Of Satan?" to cheering, extremely happy citizens of his state. Apparently nobody refused to take a pamphlet, and the Great One has clocked up well over 600 return visits since he started going out in Field Service.
"Brother Hussein really likes the fact that we show the UN up as being from Satan himself. He loves it. Only we hope he never figures out how to use a modem, because we all know what the Society did with that blasted UN Library card cock-up a few years back!" Mohammed told us. "Pretty soon, he'll be ready for his baptism, at the very first Iraqi International Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses! It will be the first Convention ever that the speaker's podium will be placed on top of a tank, with overflights of military jets at lunchtime. What a loving provision from Al-Jehover!"