Fear of DF/DA

by Pleasuredome 2 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Pleasuredome

  which is the best, DA or DF? Well I wondered about this. What is point of asking such a question? Why should it matter?

  Well it does matter quite a lot to many people, because at the heart of being DA or DF is the fear of being shunned. Fear of being rejected by friends and family, and perhaps all that you have known for the most part of your life.

  It seems that fear is the key of control in the WTS and any other authoritarian religion; in fact fear is what is used to control the world.

  But not only is that fear used to control, but that fear in reality creates the world around you.

  "There is no fear in love, but perfect love throws fear outside, because fear exercises a restraint". 1 john 4:18

  "For whoever is overcome by another, is enslaved by this one". 2 peter 2:19

  Why does that fear create the world around you? If you come to fear someone it already means that you given them your power. Thats exactly what has happened with the WTS. People have given their minds away to these people and become fearful of them. And yet this doesnt have to be this way. If people as a group said 'hang on a moment whats going on?' and stopped becoming fearful of those who have put themselves in charge, then my goodness the balance of power has swung dramatically.

  The WTS works on fear, and because of that they are under fear themselves. An example of that fear can be seen in Ray Franz's book 'crisis of conscience'. It can be seen with the situation Ray described in Ireland as to what happened to Ray and others and that DA persons should be treated the same as DF persons. The witnesses in Ireland werent going to take any crap about this and the GB new that, so they were certainly in fear of a large group of witnesses who could stand up for themselves.

  This fear of the treatment of DA and DF persons is a form of emotional black mail, which has nothing to do with love. This also has the effect of keeping people in the congregations who would have, under normal circumstances, left. So the congregations start to retain the 'dross', the troublemakers and tyrants. And the tyrants being tyrants simplify because the fear thats expressed by the flock allows them to be like that. A spiritual paradise?? More like a spiritual concentration camp.

  This creates stagnant congregations because of the WTS continual babble of staying loyal, and importance of attending all meetings and conventions and FS. Therefore to people in the congregation it becomes a way of life, lip service, and escapism. The problem starts becoming worse and as always its Satans fault for trying to get at people in the congregation. Of course, its never anyone else's problem. Blame can never be put on the way the organisation is run. All sense of what being spiritual is lost and we are burdened with mens traditions and laws.

  Its the same old story. They want us to believe that we are nobody, that we have finite capabilities and that we should make ourselves redundant only for their use.

  If we are going to take spiritual values and make the change, then we need to start using spirituality as change, instead of spirituality as escapism. And we need to start grounding those spiritual values in the 3 dimensional reality.

  As individuals we need to step out of the fear of what other people think, because it just doesnt matter. If people say "Ive got a problem with you..", they've just summed it up by saying that they've got the problem. I dont have a problem with me, hope you sort it out, thank you very much.

  when we let go of the fear of the way other people think of us, then we start to live our truth, our uniqueness, instead of someone else's version of what we should be.

  just as important though is to allow other people to express their own uniqueness even though it may differ from ours, because if we dont then we become the same as those we want to be no pert of.

  there will be people who read this who will realise that all that they wanted to suppress within themselves and have not wanted to face, is coming out and having to be faced and having to be healed.

  so to be DA, or to be DF? if what you are coming out of is fear and you want to move yourself into love, then what the heck, just let it be. it only means something if you let yourself be in fear.
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  LyinEyes

  Hi, PD, nice to have you here.

  Growing up JW, the worst thing to happen to me would to be D/F. I never even considered the idea of D/A. I would have rathered died than renounce the JW. Then as I saw the real truth of the WT, it became clear , in my case that I would have to make a stand. I tried to fade out but they didnt really like that idea, and hubby was an elder when we just walked away. So apostacy was their main concern. When it came down to it , we just D/A , because we just didnt want to be apart of it anymore. But we had thought long and hard about what we should do and when we did it , it felt right. In fact I feel that was a piviotal point in my recovery, breaking ties with the WT.
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  Kingpawn

  when we let go of the fear of the way other people think of us, then we start to live our truth, our uniqueness, instead of someone else's version of what we should be.

  You hit the nail right on the head.

  If every Witness could all at once let go of the two biggest fears--dying at Armageddon from no longer being in "the truth" and being shunned no matter how they left--The Society would collapse inside a decade.

  On the DA vs. DF question, I'd see being DF'ed as the preferable way to go--even provoke it if need be. It's like quitting cigarettes cold turkey. But I realize some people, for one reason or another, can't go that route.

  Now, fading away--sorry, but to me that doesn't get it. It's like my Congressional rep (Republican conservative) getting pressure on him to more aggressively promote "right to work" legislation. Seems like he wants to call himself a conservative but not walk the walk--on this issue anyway. Someone going the "FA" route with the JW's strikes me the same way--quit @#$%ing around about it and DO IT! The fact I was the only JW in my family makes it easier for me to take that attitude, but if you see a choice has to be made between your principles (such as self-respect) and your preferences about how your life will go, then pick principles. Why stay in a religion where you feel fear of discovery, fear you aren't good enough or doing enough, fear of other's opinions, etc? You are the only person you have to live with from that day on.

  In the intelligence game, there's the "defector"--in JWland, the apostate who actually actively questioned the Society's teachings and/or has left--and the "defector in place"--they've nursed secret grudges and doubts but haven't broken with the Society. I have more trouble with the "dip" who figures, "This is just new light" or "It seems like a contradiction, but it'll be explained eventually." If the world's despots'd had a few million less of these "yes men" the world's history would be different.