This was just so hilarious that I had to send it to the board. Originally there was a nifty link to an Old Light website (it's amazing that even some Dub websites can now officially be considered "Old Light", heh!) given to us by good old JT, and here is a quote from it:
WARS. Since World War I in 1914 there has been an end of peace |
Here are some more *gems*:
FAMINE. The greed of mankind coupled with pollution has brought about
food shortages on unbelievable scale. Entire nations of people are starving to death
and although man has plenty of food, his greed prevents him from sharing with his
neighbor.
Well, at least we won't have that little problem anymore in the New System (TM), because they'll all be DEAD!
PESTILENCE. It is now established that 3 out of ever 4 people alive today
will die from pestilence or disease. This includes cancer, which has increased
during the past 50 years to be one of the major killers of man. It includes heart
disease and AIDS, which is killing on levels far beyond all projections. There are
also occasional, extremely deadly viruses such as Ebola. This does not even take
into account what may yet be manifest as mankind's pollution of earth and
immorality increases. Surely these prophecies are coming true.
See above.
Strong examples of such are the so-called
"Spanish" Inquisition of the middle ages, in which untold numbers of people were
tortured and murdered because they did not agree with the teachings of the Catholic
Church.
So, I guess Armageddon is OK then, you know, killing billions is not all that bad compared to the Inquisition?
The Crusades of the Dark Ages were lead by Anti-Christs (such things were
darkly opposed to the peaceful teachings of Christ).
NEWSFLASH: Jehover's teaching, apparently, is "KILL 'EM ALL!"
OOOH! I found a cool picture from the Revelation book! Only in the Watchtower's publications can you find hallucinatory imagery like this:
They should probably put a little warning on the cover of the Revelation book, something like this:
"WARNING: Do not open this book. In fact, throw it in the trash RIGHT NOW. If you do ignore this warning and open this book, you will see pictures of multi-headed tigers with horns jumping out of the sea. If you're still alive after such a mind-bending vision, you will probably be Assimilated into a CULT and be forced to sell books for the rest of your days while you constantly fear for your life! Don't say we didn't warn you! Oh, and we reserve the right to change our doctrine whenever we feel like it or when the phase of the moon changes, whichever comes first!"
Oh, this picture rocks. Let's give it some captions people!
The tiger's top head hated it when the bottom head opened it's mouth, as the spike went straight into it's left cheekbone. It especially hated it when the lower head yawned after a hard night's partying and it wasn't able to dodge fast enough due to a hangover.
Pissed, the seven-headed tiger jumped out of the sea.
Yomishi the goldfish breeder afterwards regretted his decision to splice the genes of a goldfish, a tiger, and the United Nations.
Top Head hated always looking backwards when all the exciting United Nations action was happening at the front of the seven-headed beast.
It was quite a job to give the seven-headed tiger it's immunization shots every year, especially when it jumped out of the tank.
Seven headed sea tigers get really pissed off when they step on sea-urchins. And to add insult to injury, this one found that a stinging jellyfish had wrapped itself around Top Head during the Sea Urchin Extraction From Left Foot process.
Tiger didn't have gills, so it was forced to surface violently every few minutes to breathe.