..and if so, what form does such psychological damage take?
My own experience is that damage does occur.
I was 8 years old when my parents became converted, so I wasn't exactly a totally white canvass on which my personality could be painted. But I was a light shade of grey, so the impact of WT teaching was still quite considerable.
I think the most damage that I suffered was in the area of guilt and unworthiness. By the time that I was 12 years old I had become terrified of being disfellowshipped. Could I be disfellowshipped for using bad language at school? Could I be disfellowshipped for telling a fib? For masturbating? For looking at Health & Efficency magazines? The list of probable DF'ing offences seemed endless.
Not wanting to be struck down dead at Armageddon for having some sin on my record book that needed expunging, I fell into the trap of confessing to everything that I had done wrong so that I would not be in an unclean state when the big A occured.
Consequently, our local PO became the recipient of all of my neurosis as I strove to be clean from all sin. When I drove a motor scooter illegally I confessed. When I swore I confessed. When I had lustful thoughts I confessed. I confessed to everything and even exaggerated my wrongdoings so that if I had left anything out I would have some credits in my personal Armageddon bank to draw upon.
My parents became very worried about me, and decided that I was suffering from nervous exhaustion. They prescribed Sanatogen nerve tonic and more ministry work as a cure for my depression. I increased my personal study, knocked on more doors, cut right back on masturbating and did all manner of good works so as to store up some treasure in Heaven and not be found wanting when Armageddon - due any time now - arrived.
I was now 14, my self-esteem non-existent, doing very poorly at school and not much good at anything except for one brief glorious moment when I broke the class record for throwing the discus further than anyone else could.
However, changes were afoot that would serve to raise my self-esteem suffiently enough to become more independently minded, although the imprinted guilt would later arise in my early 40's that would plunge me headlong into a nightmare breakdown..
More later.
Englishman.
Sounds like the Catholics may be onto something.
At least they can feel like they have expunged something, by the confessional.
Personally I prefer it being between me and the "Big Guy", and always did. I was foolhardy enough to "confess" to a few things, though.
I look forward to the next installment, Mike. You have a griping way of expressing yourself.
I understand exactly how you felt. I did not go as far as confess anything really, but did suffer from guilt and the eternal conflict of trying to be my real self and feeling guilty about all sorts of very minor things.
At the same time at the KH, all the other young people seemed so perfect so I assumed it was only me that swore occaisionally (minor words of course) Masturbated, had lustful thoughts, did not gain joy from the ministry, enjoyed rock music and questioned things too much.
Sad really as looking back I was one of the good guys, I did not lie, steal, cheat, thought well of everyone. My father should have been proud of me rather than constantly criticising me for petty things and not being a clone of himself.
Its only now that I feel comfortable with who I am, even then I recognise some residual issues.
I think this is a familiar picture.
Look forward to reading further installments.
A
I remember laying in a hammock in my old homeplace when a kid and crying, trying to get God's forgivness for mastubation. I could resist for a few days but would be caught up again in the practice. I never confessed to anyone.
I remember once when I was about eight I saluted a flag I had made on a stick. It was just an instant but I never forgot it.
I learned to be a good double life JW.
Ken P.
About a year ago I was a real scary scary JW kid. Cause I use to curse and stuff at school and different things. However, all that scardyness made me more depressed and vunerable to stupid things because I never really learned the consequences in them. Just learned that they were bad and I was gonna die at armeggeddon by em. Didn't even think twice that they might be actually bad for me so I went into some stupid stuff. Never confessed I was never that naive. If I did confess... My parents would ignore me even more than they usually do and I would still not have any friends so... ya know.
I'd never have thought that the young Mike and you were the same person...you should be pretty proud of yourself after starting life with such a stressful set of compounding guilt complexes..
I was brought up Cathloic, then Methodist, then LONG break then JW.Perhaps the origional Catholicism effected the decision to have a bible study later in life..There is a whole 'group' mentality with the Catholics and also rigid dictrinal issues and allegiance to the body as a whole and the infalibility of the Pope could be likened to that of the Governing Body..I certainly think guilt reinforced even more strongly by the WTBS had an effect on me..
...and if so, what psychological damage does that take?
I feel that another aspect of psychological damage from the WTBS is the failure of some teenagers to grow into well rounded individuals.
There was a psycholocist on radio4 last year who defined a group of children as being likely to suffer mental problems later in life.
She argued that teenagers have to be allowed to make their own decisions and more importantly mistakes, to develop correctly .
She explained that this was because the process of decision making is a learned skill that needs to be encouraged and developed and that children denied this due to a rigid set of rules-and she specified strict religious upbringings..are less able to cope when older that children from a supportive background who knew their parents views, but had been allowed the freedom to choose their own standards, suffered less from psychological damage and were well balanced adults...
Psychology aside, I firmly believe that the Watchtower damages children SPIRITUALLY!
All of us, even atheists, have a spiritual/moral/ethical component of our personality - and the Society's narrow
and judgemental mindset can ruin a young person's ethical view of the rest of the human race.
If you're a Witness parent reading this, ask yourself if raising kids would be easier in an environment that emphasizes
charity and empathy - or one that emphasizes adverse judgement of people as 'bird food' at Armageddon, people for
whom charity is a waste of time, while also emphasizing that everything you strive for is futile, except door to door
magazine peddling. This is not the path to health or happiness in life.
metatron
I had similar hangups and confessed all to an elder. I felt worse after, because then I didn't feel like I could look him in the face anymore, or visit and hang out with his kids (his daughter was V sweet!!)
LT:
You have a griping way of expressing yourself
I do believe that was a freudian slip.... at least I hope you meant Gripping!! LOL 
Bull!
Once feelings of worthlesseness have set in because of WT inflicted guilt, it's a short path to living in a highly anxious state.
Anxiety, being simply "fear spread more thinly" is, IMHO, one of the prime reasons that JW's fear demons more than Satan himself!
If you feel without worth, you will also feel fear. A part of you will feel unloved in the knowledge that your parents love for you is conditional to some extent on how you perform as a JW. So you'll have a fear of being abandoned. How many young children are terrified of demons, the darkness, things that go bump in the night?
I'll tell some more of my story in a day or so, how I looked into the abyss and found the courage to stare back at it.
Not my usual stuff, this. 
Englishman.
Bull:Oops, I dropped a pee 
E-man,
Great topic. I've given a great deal of thought to this, having been "born into" the Troof (fourth generation).
I suspect that the alcoholism and depression that runs in my family may have predisposed my forebears to become JWs. I don't think that the Troof made them crazy; I think it made them crazier.
That said, I really believe that the constant repression, denial of normal feelings as "untheocratic," unrealistic expectations, and rigid rule-enforcing led to a whole boatload of psychic damage (I use the term "psychic" to mean a combination of mental, emotional and spiritual--has nothing to do with Miss Cleo!).
I left at 18--as soon as I legally could get out from under my parents' thumb--and have spent the last two decades attempting to "undo" the damage. I get very frustrated with people who think I should just "get over it." After all, they've got supportive families, don't they? Families that might even talk to them without telling them they deserve to die for rejecting Jehovah.
Yeah, there's damage, including an on-going sense of unworthiness (no matter how much I succeed, it's never enough, because it's not Theocratic success). I keep plugging away, though.
Jankyn, survivor class
Keep it coming Eman - very articulate and an interesting read.
Cheers,
Bull!
Englishman, your story is very touching and I really look forward to the next part. I have to know what, so happily, brought about such a big change in you!
Mike,
I went through just about everything you described in your post. It was a miserable, dreadful existence. I never could see applying myself in school when I was told regularly I would NEVER FINISH school, so my grades suffered and I lacked motivation to do well. I finally figured out by my last two years of high school I was actually going to graduate and the Big A was not going to happen and I needed to prepare for a career.
Sleep was never restful as a kid: filled with death dreams of Jehovah seeking to slaughter me for some minute sin while I ran from his dodging thunderbolts, or being left unprotected to be tortured by sadistic demonic beings. I remember having insomnia when I was in the 4th grade from such mental preoccupations. I would sit in the hallway in the middle of the night where the light was left on. It affected my brother more severely driving him to alcoholism by 17.
Socially our mother kept a very tight control on us. We were not allowed friends unless they were JW kids. Problem was, no JW kids lived around us most of the places we lived when we were young. If we did form a friendship at school, my mother (following the letter of the Watchtower law) made us preach to them and their families. We felt compelled to. The End was so close and "don't you want your friend to survive Armageddon?" You can imagine how well that went over. It was easier not to have friends than be forced to preach to them.
There was no fun to be had growing up that the Watchtower didn't seem to lay some element of guilt on: TV, movies, playing sports, having friends at school, recreation. Everything is, of course, designed to shape your mind to submitting to being a religious "salesman" for the corporation, and to think of yourself as shit if you think of wanting something else in your life.
I only began to find relief from the various guilts installed by the Watchtower when I fully submitted to them as a young adult and, weirdly enough, began to thrive. But by fully committing I began my slow journey out.
My mother was and is a super JW who lives by the very goddamned letter of the Watchtower. She was severely emotionally abused by her caretaker who threatened her ...not with Armageddon but with eternal torture in an everlasting burning hellfire. When the JWs knocked on her door and told her there was no hell, she literally felt rescued and undying gratitude.
knocked on more doors, cut right back on masturbating
Should have been the other way around. Either that or Masturbating and knocking on doors!
Sorry this is a serious thread.
Qwerty
Meeezz a thread killer.
Sorry Mike.
Q
Edited to say.............
4jwy >fu....eeeewww thanks.
I am trying to figure out just how damaged my kids are -
at 18 and 20 having been raised JW but not in the fanatic sense and thankfully, never baptized.
They seem to be doing great, working, school, many friends and a girlfriend - full on into hobbies/athletics - they were so happy to leave, 2 years now, and we did as a family - but, I see many say how they were affected for decades by the upbringing and I know it is so.
Am I naive to think they will get it out of their system (sorry, don't mean to use the "get over it" thought) easier than me, since they only lived half the length of time as I did in the cult? Discussions with them at this time have them telling me that I will never be able to think like a "normal" worldly mom after more than 40 years of mind control.
I confessed to everything and even exaggerated my wrongdoings so that if I had left anything out I would have some credits in my personal Armageddon bank to draw upon.
I, on the other hand, bottled everything up inside because I was too afraid and embarrassed to divulge the ?real deal? with my feelings, desires, and ?secret sins.? Sure, I thought about confessing to the elders about my ?unnatural fantasies,? but I never did because my dad is an elder, and I didn?t want to bring embarrassment and shame on my family or myself.
I know all about the guilt, fear, anxiety, and sadness which comes with being in such a situation, especially as a youngster going through puberty . . . the nightmares, the depression, the drinking to ?escape,? and then later on, frustration, anger, and resentment after perceiving my father?s misrepresentation of God. (He used to scare me about being condemned for sins.) Then, of course, all the more anger and resentment after learning the truth about ?the troof.?
I like Danny Hazzard?s expression, ?soul raped.? It seems to hit the nail right on the head!
Add to that the experience of so many other JWs of seeing their mother constantly put down and told to ?know her place,? as per the WT?s ?proper view of headship,? and seeing your ever popular elder father have fits of temper (complete with the fancy swearing and intimidation), and it?s not too hard for anyone to understand the underlying anger and bitterness of so many folks that walk through these electronic doors.
So, ?Do All JW Children Suffer From Psychological Damage?? Well, do all heavy smokers and gluttonous eaters suffer from health damage? The answer is, To what degree?
?SAHS
So, ?Do All JW Children Suffer From Psychological Damage?? Well, do all heavy smokers and gluttonous eaters suffer from health damage? The answer is, To what degree?
It occurs to me that many a child's personality is actually overlaid by dubbism, rather than being mixed in with it.
I'd always been (and still am) of an ebulliant nature. However, that ebulliance was cloaked over most of the time whilst I was in the JW's, with the result that I had a sensation of bveing trapped in something much of the time.
Not good.
Englishman.
Eman,
Thankyou so much for "exposing yourself" 
(Joking where I should not).....But really, it is unusual for you to talk about these deep seated feelings of your youth. I appreciate your honesty, and feel that it will help many to connect with those universal feelings that many of us endured.
You have hit on something important here, that young minds are impressionable and what is believed by a child can and usually will be, retained in some way into adulthood. Things that are so drilled into the minds of children will be a source of anxiety later in life, especially if the connection is not made as to the basis of the adults fears.
Anyways, thanks for sharing this insight with me.
LW