Dear Brothers,
How thrilled we are that Jehovah's chariot moves at breathtaking speed and that His earthly organization is keeping pace!
We are writing to let you know about some wonderful provisions that are available as of June 1st 2016. Listen, obey, pay and be blessed and you and your household will "overflow" with bounteous things.(Prov. 3: 9,10)
The Service Committee in each congregation will no longer consist of the Co-ordinator, Secretary and Service Overseer. Also note the change to the title of Group Overseer to reflect the direction of Jehovah's chariot.
The new positions will be:
Coordinator of Collection of Usury Payments (COCUP)
This kindly and experienced brother will remind the publishers of the need to give generously. (Wallkill will not get gold taps without your $$$)
Secretary of Regularity of Donations in Dollars (SORDID)
This efficient and numerate brother will remind the publishers of the need to give regularly.
Service Our Debt Overseer - Fund Finance (SODOFF)
This ministry minded brother will remind the publishers that electronic publications don't come cheap and that they should donate for the fine spiritual provisions they receive.
Group Grabbing Overseer(s)
Each Group Grabbing Overseer will arrange kindly shepherding calls on those in his group on a quarterly basis to extract as much cash as he can.
We know these fine provisions will make you grateful for the spiritual paradise which for over 140 years has convinced us we are so, so very deep in the time of the end.
Your brothers,
Whichever Corporation Can Hide the Funds from Child Abuse Professed Victims