Help? :(

BlackWolf

I apologize for how rantish this is but please hear me out. Anyways I'm a 15 year old girl and I've never really wanted to be a jw. Its just never been something thats made me feel happy or loved. Everyone at my kingdom hall is so mean and judgmental, and i literally have 0 friends right now. I cant even have friends at school because I'm homeschooled. Everyone that i thought was my friend ended up backstabbing me and gossiping about me behind my back. I cant really make any new friends because my parents never let me go out and do anything! I just want to go hang out at the park or the mall like a normal teenager! I have no social life. Most of the time i end up staying in my room drawing and listening to music even though thats apparently " a waste of mu time". My parents seem to think that all of the music i like ( rock and metal ) is "satanic" or "worldly" but i still listen to it secretly. My dream is to go to art school but everyone seems to look down apon me for it. I feel so lost right now :( i honestly don't even think i believe in god anymore since he doesn't seem to care about me at all. Ive been struggling a lot with depression and an eating disorder but nothing seems to help. What should i do? Thanks in advance.

truthseeker100

Welcome BlackWolf your among friends here. I have two daughters older than you. I grew up in the truth too. I know it can be hard sometimes.

FayeDunaway

Honey you need to gear yourself up for about 3 years of feeling this way. But when you are 18 you can live your own life. Your life will be amazing. You just need to get through this horrible part, ok? Are you baptized? If not, don't get baptized, obviously. It's your own choice, your parents can't force you.

truthseeker100

What kind of an eating disorder do you have? If it's affecting your health I suggest you seek out competent medical advice right away. You have to make sure your ok before addressing other things. There is a lot of competent advice on this forum regarding the other things just wait for it.

BlackWolf

Thanks you guys. No i am not babtized. I have been diagnosed with anorexia and have been to a clinic before but it is something that i still struggle with.

Crazyguy

Make friends here, stay focused on school and getting a great education. Stay busy with hobbies and make goals. When your old enough you can move hopefully with a scholarship to a college. Be glad that you're figuring out that your in a cult now and not when you 50. Hang in there.

truthseeker100

FayeDunaway is right do not get baptized. No.1 not even in a moment of weakness to please your parents. It's like jumping off a cliff. You can't go back once done.

Wasanelder Once

I understand your frustration and I am not surprised at your eating disorder. It is due to the stresses of not having any approval from the family or the congregation. Thank goodness you are not baptized, DON'T EVER DO IT. That is the safest course for you. Aren't there any fellow rebels in the congregation you can associate with? Though it seems slow, time will pass faster than you think. Apparently you have internet access so stick with it. You may meet folks on there. There are some here you may find have just the right words for you in your time of need. All the best.

disposable hero of hypocrisy

Hang in there matey, it may seem like a million years away, but the next couple of years will melt away faster than you'd think, then your life is truly your own.

It's tough growing up as a jdub, I was lucky in that I had a good bunch of mates, but I kept 'worldly' friends too..

Be happy that you're not hoodwinked by the BS so early in life, it took me forty years to realise my mistake!

Just start planning your future, it's gonna be an epic one! 😀

BlackWolf

There are other "rebels" in my congregation but lets just say that we dont really get along haha. Thanks for all the advice :)

Help? :(

Share this