It's not often we can share some good news where a bad situation has progressive JWs come to the rescue and ignoring the Elders Jedi-Mind-Meld tricks!
How often did you see Jehovah Witness Elders or Friends, Servants, Older Men or the wisdom of the sisters who were pass the bloom of their youth give advice to kids thinking about getting married? Would you feel sick if the elders knew the woman you were going to marry was mentally ill, currently she had her depression and hallucinations under control because she was taking hard core medications? Brother Craig is 27 years old, Journey Electrician working for PGE’s Giant Transmission towers you see along I-5 from the Grapevine all up to the Border of Oregon Yreka, California.
Can we help our kids avoid ending up like poor Brother Craig Charles and his beautiful wife Angela-Vanilla? Craig age 27 years old was working for the High Power Transmission Line crew running along I-5 and other areas in California. If you have driven from the Grapevine up to Sacramento, up to Lake Shasta you have seen those giant power transmission lines running along the freeways. Dangerous job with great pay, he’s a journey man electrician with welding skills and other gifts. The kid was gifted and very happy, a zest and zeal for living you don’t run across very often in the Organization’s gloomy environment, often the outlook is more like Angela’s dark gloomy thoughts and outlook.
Angela-Vanilla was the hunter with Brother Craig in her scope, she finally wore him out and they decided to get married. Craig had various warnings, but how wonderful Angela looked and the Wedding Night would chase the nagging voices out of his mind. They had a very nice wedding and Craig was getting ready for that magical night of Passion? Neither of them drank much and off to some nice hotel, I got a phone call, “hey what do I do, she’s wearing “Grandma Pajamas” and went to bed? You think she’s scared or tired, I can wait until the morning.” When he climbed in the bed, she woke up and said ‘What are you doing? We have two beds, get in the other bed and keep your distance!” Phone rang again at 12:30 pm and my heart dropped, sunk into the abyss knowing he made a horrible decision and ignored all the warning signs right before his face. “Go out and get yourself something to eat at Denny’s, take off for a couple of hours and let’s talk on the phone.” He drove to a Denny’s not far away from the hotel and we talked on the phone while his phone was ringing non-stop from Angela wondering where he was! Actual Text “Where’s My Husband U Abandon ME?” I wish I could have jumped into his body and dealt with her, he was too nice and headed back to the hotel to get a good tongue lashing and screaming at.
He arrived back in his hotel room around 1:30 AM, she again told him in no uncertain terms to keep to his side of the bed. Instead of spending time in San Francisco on Fisherman’s Wharf, he listened to the advice of a few friends and cancelled those reservations and drove back to his house. Needless to say, she was very sad there was no honeymoon and insisted he buy her a new bed for room number three. Remember, these are two JWs in good standing and Craig has remained single looking for the perfect bride. Sister Vanilla is very beautiful and Craig was humble and blamed himself for her insanity! Criag was not some ugly giant Golem, he looked like Thor additional proof, frequently when he was in town, the gay guys would send beers his way trying to get a wink in. He turned beet red, looks were not the issue, they both had the “pretty person bubble’ around them, except he was kind and loving, she was a selfish jerk.
Elder Involvements’, Worse thing you can do to your marriage, what are elders actually trained in? The mate who is the most humble usually is treated like dirt or blamed for the demise of a bad marriage. The typical questions thrown his way “Are you bringing her little gifts and telling her how much you love her? Do you pray each night together? How is your sex life? Pandora’s Box is now opened! He said “What sex life are you talking about?” Angela said it was because he treated her ruff and acted like some brut trucker!” Craig asked the elders to leave the house and put Angela’s stuff on the lawn, carried out all her few items and asked her to leave now! The Elders keep coming back telling him he is not acting like a Christian, he can’t treat his wife this way.
The arrival of Craig’s Parents, Mom and Dad are now here and telling the Elders it’s time to leave their property and please take Angela with them. The Father informs the elders that Anglea, she is not his wife anymore and is no longer welcome here. Dad cites something about they are going to a judge ASAP to get an Annulment and is happy the marriage was never consumated (what dumb luck he is thinking to himself) Angela is crying begging her husband to allow her a second chance. With Craig's Momma and Daddy full of rage about the wedding night, seperate beds, "keep to your own space", asking Craig to buy another bed for the third room" his parents are done, she can move back to her trailer while the parents pray ad thank God he did not get stuck married. She start’s to stalk Craig after he changed his locks and had an alarm system installed. Following him out to the Valley on his job, she had the weirdest notion they were married.
Did the Elders have any business involving themselves in this situation?
When should Craig have known his marriage was a farce?
Where Craigs parents disobedient to the Faithful Slave?
What would you have done on the Marriage night once Angela told you to get out of her bed and keep your distance on the other twin-bed?
There are young couples and some in the late twenties who have never had sexual intercourse because the wives are not comfortable with it. Whether it was due to being abused a a child or some other reason, what should a man do if he finds out after he get's married his wife is not going to have sex with him. Currently there are four cases I know of in our circuit where the closet thing to sex is the wife doing what is called a "hand-job" or "hand-release", what is the proper course for these men to take if they wanted kids and their women refuse to allow them to touch them? I don't miss dealing with the strange situations like these. I think it's not fair for a man and a woman not to talk about what they expect and what is fair game. We could lower our divorce rate in the Organization if we had more communication.