2013 Circuit Assembly programs on jw.org

by sd-7 6 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    I just happened to pay a visit to HyperTextTransferProtocol Colon Backslash Backslash WorldWide Web Dot JW Dot Org (http://www.jw.org), my absolute favorite website of all time right now, and I noticed they have assembly programs for 2013 on there.

    It looks like the programs have similar themes as this year's convention, themed "Safeguard Your Heart". The assembly program is themed "Safeguard Your Mind" and the special assembly day is themed "Safeguard Your Conscience", unless I've confused the two, I really don't feel like going back to look at them right now, the files opened up at like 198% magnification and it creeped the hell out of me, it was like a giant recurring nightmare in 3-D or something. It sounds like they're really worried about the JW mindset right now, or else why have programs with those themes? Such similar themes spread out through the year has, to my knowledge, never been done before. Granted, I've not been around the block that many times, so this is news to me.

    Of course I know the actual content won't change much. (1) More hours of field service, cut back on work (cue experience of person who asks supervisor to work 3-4 days a week and not only gets it approved, but at higher pay!). Just don't cut back on donations. This assembly is in deficit, despite being able to afford to send money to the Society--your money that was sent with the elders' consent and not yours, so...we're going to need some more money to actually cover the cost of this program. Sorry, guys, should've...mentioned that earlier. (2) Don't do 'higher education'. (Cue experience of person who gave up scholarship and is now pioneering.) (3) Stay off the Internet. There's porn and apostates, so...oh, wait, just set your parental controls to only allow jw.org, and block everything else. (Cue bad joke, something like, "Avoid all fifty shades of Facebook." [Laughter that's a little too raucous because some people have read a certain naughty-but-poorly-written novel.]) (4) Role-playing--elder realizes he has a drinking problem. Family study reveals teen has a boy who likes her at school. And so on... (5) The faithful slave. Look at what the faithful slave has done for us. In 1935, the faithful slave sneezed and offered us a napkin, symbolically. Thank the faithful slave. Obey the faithful slave. And look forward to continuing to obey the faithful slave for at least a thousand years into the future and on into eternity!

    So...just putting that out there for minds that aren't as tired as my own to pick apart the titles and stuff...

    --sd-7

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    Where? I don't see them. It should be easy to see if they are two or three days long if so.

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Deshi (Deshi!) Basara! (Sparlock!) Deshi (Deshi!) Basara! (Sparlock!)

    Deshi deshi basara basara

    Deshi deshi basara Sparlock

    "What are they saying?"

    "Rise, Sparlock."

    A SPARLOCK WILL RISE

    A LEGEND WILL END

    A Sparlock will rise

    THE SPARLOCK RISES

    --sd-7

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Oh, sorry. I thought no one was going to post on this thread...tried to get away with saying something random...

    Check under "Downloads" under "Books and Brochures". It's there. I just looked at it. And don't tell me I'm lying because of the 'two witness rule' either!!

    --sd-7

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    Oh damn, circuit assembly yes. I thought you said district convention programme.

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    They want to control the R&F: Heart, Mind and Conscience.

    Next would be "Safeguard your Soul" but that would be confusing because--while we have a heart, a mind and hopefully a conscience--we do NOT (according to WT "theology") have a soul.

  • JakeM2012
    JakeM2012

    "Safeguard Your Conscience"

    I made a deal with my conscience.

    I won't bother it, if it doesn't bother me.

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