Awkward Silences

by TOTH 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • TOTH
    TOTH

    I can rememebr MANY such silences growing up in the wt. One that comes to mind was back in the mid 80's. I was a young twenty something fellow and had gone to the dc in Fresno, CA with my parents and my brother. We stayed at one hotel and were invited to another hotel for an after session get together with some of the others from our congregation. I showed up with my brother and there sitting in the hotel lobby like bumps on logs were several of the twenty somethings we went to the hall with.

    We said hi to everyone and sat down. No one spoke so I asked how they liked the day's session and they all nodded and said that it was very nice. WOW, such enthusiasm I thought as I looked at their blank stares. I wish I could have perceived their response as I could now! LOL

    So this one MARRIED sister came up to me and asked me if I wanted a drink from the bar and I declined. I had had a drinking problem in my teens and had sworn off the stuff but tried to keep THAT out of the conversation. She asked me a couple of times to join her and her husband for a drink at the bar and I declined again. Eventually I tired of saying no and I told her that I had a problem with alcohol, became very surly and combative and that it was BEST for me to NOT drink. She said that one little drink could not possibly be bad and her husband said for her to drop it. So they went to the bar. No one else went with them.

    So there we sat, about 9 or 10 of us just looking at each other. My brother rest his soul saved the evening though! He said that we had to go and digest the wonderous meal Jehovah had provided through his Faithful Slave. Meditation and scripture to prepare us for Sunday's presentation was what he and I needed. We thanked them for their invitation and bid them all goodnight.

    We drove back to our hotel and talked about what a bunch of fish they all are. When we got up to our room we turned on the tv and watched HOWARD THE DUCK! Ahh perfect meditation.....LOL Oh and he did read out of the bible about how bad associations spoil useful habits.

    Anyone else ever experience those weird moments with other young people at gatherings???

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    I'll reply so you don't have an awkward silence on this thread.

    I can only remember awkward silences in dubbery that I directly caused.

    Usually the dubs here were never quiet. Inane, unending chatter. Exceptions occurred when I asked questions about doctrine or challenged the jw cultural norms.

  • iCeltic
    iCeltic

    Agree with rebel, unending chatter.

  • blondie
    blondie

    I had 2 pioneer sisters that I either had to go with or go by myself which the elders said I could not do. The whole time they never addressed a single word to me and would not answer me if I talked. They were mad that I had to go with them, they had "worked" together with each other and no one else for years.

    Once I went to a book study and no one talked to me and my husband. It was strange like not having been invited to your JC and being df'd in absentia.

  • Violia
    Violia

    I look back on this experience with jws and getting used to not being addressed or outright shunned . I now see how strange it is to continue to attend a church where no one wants to talk to you- yet this was not at all uncommon at the KH.

    Why did we let them do this ? I found that it carried over in my life as I was used to being ignored. This is so sad .

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Once I went to a book study and no one talked to me and my husband. It was strange like not having been invited to your JC and being df'd in absentia.

    Wonder why they didn't speak? Did you attempt to speak to them?

    Once my husband was giving the talk at a different congregation-I think it was in Daytona, Florida-and a sister came up to me and called me Ms. Quandry. I was so perplexed...weren't we supposed to be sisters? They were a very strange congregation...

  • talesin
    talesin

    I found that it carried over in my life as I was used to being ignored.

    Yes, now that I think about it, Violia, it's so true. In the Truh TM , we were only heard if telling about a new, exciting FS experience, or the latest in 'style'.

    It has been challenging, to find my 'voice'.

    tal

  • Morbidzbaby
    Morbidzbaby

    violia and tal~ Yes, same experience here... Like when you're in a group and you start telling them something and all of a sudden someone cuts you off and you just kind of trail off in what you were saying? I hate that! I experienced that all the time when I was a JW...the popular crowd didn't like to let anyone else in. Or they'd look at me like I was totally daft.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Mb,, YES!!!!

    Like when you're in a group and you start telling them something and all of a sudden someone cuts you off and you just kind of trail off in what you were saying?

    arrgghh ...

    hehe

    tal

  • blondie
    blondie

    Quandry, we did try to speak to them. Finally, the conductor said to sit down, the meeting was starting. Afterwards, after finding out we weren't df'd (I guess al visitors are df'd jws in his mind), they then were awkward for their bad judgment of us. It was a congregation with BIG problems we found out later (we were just visiting).

    We once visited a congregation and were totally ignored (Sunday). We were once again visitors but unknown to anyone. It wasn't until the 3rd meeting an single mother came up and talked to us. But still not a single elder and we were waved away because they were too busy. We found out later from a brother we knew well that that congregation was known for being unfriendly.

    Not all congregations we visited were like that and getting the silent treatment from sisters happens to more people than me.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Blondie,

    I, for one, am glad you have a voice here. I have learned a lot from your Sunday WT TM over-views!

    xo

    tal

  • TimeBandit
    TimeBandit
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  • TOTH
    TOTH

    LMAO! My dad used to say cornhole too! He used to cuss a lot at home too. It's somethng that I do often as well.

    My wife's dad was never big on cussing but in their family the word joder/jodido is used as a word to describe annoying behavior or an annoying person. In MOST Spanish speaking countries it is the height of offensive and insulting language. Joder means to Eff someone or a jodido is an effer. So one of my wife's aunties was sitting at lunch with her kids during a dc. One of them was being bratty so she called him a jodido and the group of fellow lunchers fell silent. She looked around and asked, "Is that a curse word?" LOL

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    If you want to see awkwardness and silence in action just attend a co-ed witless gathering.

    It makes an uncomfortable middle school dance look like a rockin' time.

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