Seriously in need of opinions here

by DilemmaGF 17 Replies latest social relationships

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  DilemmaGF

  dgp - firstly I used the term JW because I don't what else to call/refer to them. I just don't think that the JWs are bad people but they are the victims of the cult. Of course, some are really "bad" because maybe the teaching and practices of the WTS suits them, and they like it (being jugdemental, self-righteous etc) because that's human nature.

  I have done a lot of research about the religion, the history and even how their twisted translation in their Bible. BAD! BAD! BAD! I am also aware of their tactics eg love bombing, etc..

  I have my stand - never to join, even to sit in the KH for a few hours will be a waste of my time I guess. You are right to certain extend about how I feel about him. And yes, I still harbour some hopes that he will come to his senses and be out of the cult
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  DilemmaGF

  dgp - oh.. I misunderstood your statement about the jargon. Well, that's what they call the mainstream Christians isn't it? Whatever they call us, doesn't change a bit who we are so I just don't think it is wrong to use their jargon specifically in this matter. JW = cult; Christendom are not!
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  Witness 007

  Just be happy....don't complicate.
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  dgp

  Dilemma:

  I would be much easier if he initiate the break up. Or should I keep on bugging him with the WTS-cult thingy until he (i) come to his senses and finally see the cult in the religion OR (ii) decides to go back to the religion because the worldly girl is really trying to influence me with the apostate thingy...

  It is easier, but not by much. If the witness breaks up with you, you feel that "Well, HE ended it, not me; I did all I could". But it does not feel great to be rejected because you're one of the Evil Ones, knowing, as you know, that they are just like everybody else, generally speaking. I think this is not the right thing to do, for you or for him.

  Poster JGNAT summarized the right attitude in a few words, which I copied on that other thread (http://www2.jehovahs-witness.net/social/relationships/222954/7/In-love-with-a-JW) and am posting here again, for your sake:

  I would not subsume my identity for any man.

  (Change that to "for any person")

  The congregation now grits its' teeth and puts on its best hospitality smile to "prove" to me that theirs is the superior life.

  I'm not fooled.
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  jamiebowers

  This thread was also started under Private Discussions, and here was my answer:

  As soon as he experiences a life changing event, such as having kids, he'll run back to the cult and try to drag wife and children with him. No one should ever marry a jw without that jw going through intensive therapy and a prenup about how potential children will be raised.
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  zeb

  Whats their ages?
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  CuriousUK

  Just to intrude on your thread - I can only re-iterate that reading mine might be really useful. The advice and stories I have received have been amazingly helpful and gave me a lot to think about.

  As someone in a vaguely similar situation, I can completely empathise how difficult it is to find the truth in amongst the words, and I hope you can find your way
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  Tomapostate

  DilemmaGF, if you like him and he likes you then no advise from anyone will stop you going with him- nor should it!

  I am puzzled why you ask for it. I don't think you have any doubts about your feelings for him, perhaps making sure you hear all critisisms before making your choice so it can at least be an informed one rather than just a blind flurry of romance.

  Perhaps you are not sure you agree with his stance on holidays and foresee it turning into a major divison later in the relationship? I'm asking rather than hypothesising. If this is so then your view on these things is worth making clear. Any dishonesty in the relationship can turn in to a major problem later if not sorted sooner.

  My advise- be clear but gentle what your stance is. You don't agree with the JW's and won't join them, so if he is harbouring any thoughts about going back to them once your are married then you are probably not suited. On the other hand, if he is prepaired to embrace your view on things then you may be perfectly suited.

  I think I see your dilema.

  The simple truth is you have your doubts. Until they are sated you are both not ready for a commited relationship. My advise.