Is my marriage worth saving?

by sacdfan 66 Replies latest social relationships

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    If he won't go to counseling with you, you could still get help for yourself.

    The reason I mention it is the purpose of it can be to make a decision and amicably separate if that's the decision.

    Or it could work things out so you're happier with whatever compromises you end up making.

  • sacdfan
    sacdfan

    Thanks for the support and all the suggestons from all of you.

    I was thinking of taking a break - going away for a short break to think things through alone - a long weekend by the coast.

    I still think we can work things through if he would only make an effort - sometimes he is warm, but then he can go 'funny' suddenly - I think they are working him too hard - meetings, ministry, quick build, maintenance, talks, studies etc.

    I'll pray about things and I'll re-read your posts again and again. I'm sure things will become clearer as there is so much wisdom on this board.

    Sacdfan

  • dog is god
    dog is god

    Ladies, you do NOT NEED these guys. they are sucking your life out of you and wasting the most valuable thing you have.....time. First of all find out where the money is and how much. Tax returns are good for that. Make sure you are in a good place, all ducks in a line, don't tell anyone, not even your kids. then kick their lazy, good for nothing asses out. You are both dying a little bit more everyday you stay.

  • Qcmbr
    Qcmbr

    If you are on here asking one part of my mind says no - once you have to ask anonymous strangers maybe youve crossed a marker and its just a hard road to recognising it.

    Purely from a practical pov - what are your real chances of a happy relationship outside your current one? If its low then stay and fight for what you have. If its high cut the ties and go.

    If there is ever violence leave. If there are kids stay until you are all ready to go (if ever). If there is wealth consider your post marriage circumstances. If there is even a smidgen of true love - fan the fire and see if it'll come back. If there are only burnt embers walk on and enjoy what once was and go build a new one with someone else.

    Never listen to online advice from strangers who have no investment in your situation ;)

  • dgp
    dgp

    I beg to disagree with Qcmbr. Strangers who have no investment in a situation can often see much better than those involved, simply because they have no feelings "invested" in that situation.

    Someone said the husband is a lodger. I would say he is a free-loader. Some nerve: He lives a separate life from sadcfan, an evil fader, but has no problem eating the bread she wins. He has the time to continue to climb within the Organization only because the evil fader keeps him. But, hey, it is Jehovah's wish that you be theocratic.

    I'm afraid that sacdfan will stay in the relationship for the sake of I don't know what, while Theocratic will act behind her back. Has anyone ever about that kind of behavior inside the Watchtower? Yes?

    If there are kids, then sadcfan may have a reason to live. You know, some kids resent the fact that their parents stay together "for the kids". They feel responsible, one would say guilty, of keeping an unbreathable atmosphere at home. Then they move on to complain that their parents stayed together for their own sake but conveniently put the burden on them.

  • aquagirl
    aquagirl

    Ok,So,I havent read every post,just 3 pages,but having been married 4 times,I am a bit of an expert so...Dump him.It isnt worth it,and the longer you stay,the more you will become dimished in his and maybe your own eyes..Get out while you still can see a different life for yourself,.There is still hope,because you are still questioning it.If you need to be with someone,it will happen.Really..I know.Right now,you need a clean break..Harsh? Yeah,maybe but,you already know this in your heart,right?

  • biometrics
    biometrics

    @djeggnog - Have you considered a career as a web content writer?

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Topic Summary

long story - will make it short - i was a jw for 4 years.

hy husband took to it straigt away and has been a jw for 20 years - we were both converted by one of his workmates.

our 4 kids were all baptised jws and thankfully 3 escaped (2 disfellowshipped, one fading) - so my eldest son is still in with his dad.

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