Top Tips - what are yours?

by punkofnice 28 Replies latest social humour

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    My top tip.

    Jehovah's witnesses. Stay in your cult by shunning those that disagree with your leaders from Brooklyn.

    or

    SHOE EXPRESS customers. Throw your purchases away and wear the boxes instead. They'll be harder-wearing, more stylish and better fitting.

    or

    Rappers. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

  • N.drew
    N.drew

    Good tips NOT

    Toothbrushes are very good for cleaning hard to reach places. But you never want to make the mistake of using a cleaning brush to brush your teeth. So what I do is tape the handle with masking tape or duct tape which means it's for cleaning. I have more tips, but I can't think of any other now.

  • elderelite
    elderelite

    My top tip is 25% percent, but she was REALLY special

  • NomadSoul
    NomadSoul

    Tip #1

    Do not reply to e-mails from work when you're drunk, you might hit REPLY TO ALL.

  • wobble
    wobble

    Never stick your todger in a wasp's nest.

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    N.Drew - We shouldn't brush off the idea!

    Elderelite - That left a tart taste in m mouth!

    Nomadsoul - So the boss isn't a schnook after all?

    Wobble - Why, what happens?

  • ziddina
    ziddina

    Ummm.....

    Never argue with a guy about the size of his - uh, "little guy"...

    While we're on the subject, never laugh hysterically when he tells you what he's NAMED his "little guy"...

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    El Zid - I hope the bloke isn't getting 'cocky' about it! Ooops!

    MOTORISTS. Always have a hot pie in your hands in heavy traffic. Each time the traffic grinds to a halt, just reach for the pie. The instant you place it to your lips the traffic begins to move. This works especially well with the molten lava apple turnovers from KFC.

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    Never spit into the wind. Don't tug on Superman's cape. And don't mess around with Jim Slim.

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    Heaven - Superman exists which is more than can be said for the god of the watchtower(TM)

    CONVINCE your neighbours that evolution is working backwards by not shaving for a week, walking to your car gradually more stooped each morning and wearing a monkey costume on the Friday.

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    1. Take care of your feet.

    2. Try not to do anything stupid.

    Think About It

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Never knock your granny when shes shaving

    Never sit on a public toilet

    Tell those special people in your life that you love them everyday

  • N.drew
    N.drew

    After not sitting on a public toilet, wipe it off.

    YOU are special Pams girl honey! I love you!

    I hope peace has returned.

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Peace is returned Nancy and all is well Thank you x

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Never....no never, refuse a breath mint.

  • N.drew
    N.drew

    Floss. I say floss!

    Use a tongue scrapper.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    Be nice to your kids...

    they get to choose your nursing home.

    oz

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    Be yourself at all times.............

    When you can't ....fake it!!!!

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I never refuse a breath mint, and I take it as a hint

    "...you be nice to me and I'll be nice to you. It's that simple." --M & m.

    Yes, Oz, your kids will choose your nursing home. Wise advice.

    You won't catch a disease off a public toilet.

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Never lick a cactus. Its not as much fun as it looks.

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