Wife wants a Family Study after the special talk...but initially refuses Bible only study.

by garyneal 26 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    My wife asked me to attend the special talk with her because she wants to attend something like this as a family and feels that she "enjoys worshipping together" as a family. I have not been to church for at least a year and have pretty much abandoned the practicing of my faith but I can remember how I used to want to have a church going family so I obliged. I feel kind of apprehensive about doing these things because she wants the kids and I to be on our best behavior and has even fussed at me for playing tablet games during other talks. Nevermind the fact that she played Ms Pac-man on her phone when she went to my cousin's church to watch her get baptized. Witnesses have double standards.

    Anyway, the talk was okay, nothing earth shattering. Just how to have a happier family life. I even listened a little and felt I got something out of it. We were out of town visiting relatives that weekend and at the end of the day we go for our long drive back to home.

    Not even a half hour into the drive she says that she wants to have family studies at home. I said, sure, but I do not want to be led by Watchtower material. I told her that I was sure she would not permit me to bring any Christian material to the "study" so I felt it only fair that we also used no Watchtower material. She said I could bring one Christian publication if she could bring one Watchtower publication. I said no and insisted that a Bible study should be nothing more than that, a BIBLE study. I told her that I did not want any religious influence tainting our reading of the Bible and telling us what the Bible says and quoting a few verses here and there to support that religion's views. I wanted a simple reading of the Bible that would permit us to see only what it says.

    She vehemently refused and went on and on about how my understanding of the Bible from all those "atheists" would somehow taint my reading. It went on for at least five minutes with how I had no way of actually learning about the Bible by merely reading it and how she insisted that if I wanted to just read the Bible I could do it on my own but under no circumstances was I to try insist on it being done during family study. Out of shear frustration I finally said, "Fine, if that is the case then I absolutely forbid you to have any kind of family study with my kids and I have the authority to do that." Her response was, "Well, you know that you gave up that authority by not taking up the role of the spiritual head," just to get me goad even more.

    Then I laid it on her. "If you insist on sneaking around and teaching my children your Watchtower teachings then I will tell them everything I know, and I mean EVERYTHING! I was holding back, but since you insist of being this way I won't hold back anymore. You see, if you had at least agreed to the strict Bible reading I would've allowed for some of the independent stuff you already do with them." Just to make it clear what EVERYTHING is, it encompasses my knowledge of Watchtower history, the false dates they laid forth, the changed teachings, the murderous and contradictory blood doctrine, the false 607 BCE year, the overlapping generation, and so on. It would also continue with everything I know about the Bible itself such as the documentation hypothesis concerning the authors of the five books of Moses, the anonymous authorship of many of the Pauline epistles and of all four of the gospels as well as the early history of Christianity (not the JW version either). While we're at it, let's discuss the atrocities found in the Bible like God condoning slavery and promoting genocide and bashing baby's heads upon rocks and Jesus mutilating a fig tree when it was out of season for figs, etc..

    Fifteen minutes later, she agreed to allow for a simple reading of the Bible for our family study but insist on a single translation, the NWT obviously. I agreed.

    Perhaps many of you, being or having been witnesses yourselves, can explain to me why a Bible study cannot be a simple reading of the Bible? During our argument I recall stating that if we had been a family that attended another church there is a good chance that we would have been okay with simply reading the Bible and asking for guidance from the Holy Spirit. Not these people, not my wife at least, to her it is impossible to learn anything about God from simply reading the Bible alone. Is it really a common viewpoint amongst witnesses? To a Christian who has been to protestant churches, this notion is absurd.

  • Seeking agape
    Seeking agape

    uggh that's super frustrating! Here is an excerpt and a link to the full article.

    It explains how we can find answers to our questions by using the publications that “the faithful and discreet slave” gives us. (Matthew 24:45) Page 36 explains that we can use the Watch Tower Publications Index.... You may need to be patient to find an answer to your question. Remember that it is like looking for hidden treasures, so it will take time and effort.
    Of course, there are some subjects and scriptures that our publications have not discussed. And at times, the publications may have talked about the verse you are interested in, but maybe this still does not answer your question. Also, some Bible accounts do not explain all the details, so we may have questions about these accounts. We should not expect to find answers immediately to every question. If there is no answer to our questions in the publications, then we should not try to guess the answer. If we do that, we could become involved in arguments about “questions for research rather than a dispensing of anything by God in connection with faith.” (1 Timothy 1:4; 2 Timothy 2:23; Titus 3:9) The brothers who work at the branch offices or at the world headquarters cannot answer every question about subjects that have not been explained in the publications. But we can be sure that the Bible gives us enough information to guide our life. And the things we do not yet understand give us an opportunity to show that we have strong faith in God and in his Word.—See pages 185 to 187 of the book Draw Close to Jehovah.

    Hope this helps you understand what she is brainwashed with!

    http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/402011767?q=who+can+understand+the+bible&p=par

  • Seeking agape
    Seeking agape

    So basically if you have a bible based question you should only look for answer in the Borgs publications or by asking an Elder. Because if you look outside of the Borg you might actually find some truth.

    You could talk to a mature Christian, maybe one of the local elders. They have a good knowledge of the Bible and have served Jehovah for many years. If you need advice about a personal problem or decision, they would be able to help you since they are nearby, and they know you and your situation.
  • garyneal
    garyneal

    Thanks for the quotes, Agape. I can imagine how this is going to play out. We come across a passage that may cause her to question some of the WT teachings. She either consults JW.ORG or one of the elders at her hall and then she tries to convince me with what she learned. If I do not find her research convincing, she will consider me defiant.

    Maybe we should simply go back to our original agreement and stop discussing religion in our household.

  • Alive!
    Alive!

    "Perhaps many of you, being or having been witnesses yourselves, can explain to me why a Bible study cannot be a simple reading of the Bible? During our argument I recall stating that if we had been a family that attended another church there is a good chance that we would have been okay with simply reading the Bible and asking for guidance from the Holy Spirit. Not these people, not my wife at least, to her it is impossible to learn anything about God from simply reading the Bible alone. Is it really a common viewpoint amongst witnesses? To a Christian who has been to protestant churches, this notion is absurd."

    I'm sorry you are having to negotiate spiritual learning in your home - but, thank you, you've reminded me how Witnesses only trust the bible through the lens of the WBTS.


  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    Does she know about all the Pedo-cases?? Does she want your kids to know about it? Good job BTW. Sometimes you have to lay it on the line.

    Also, you did NOT lose the role as head of the family because of not being a dub. If anything, your wife must respect you even more. SHE IS THE "TRUE XIAN", NOT YOU. She should be submissive at all times.

    DD

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    A non-Witness who'd been studying with a Witness, moved into my last congregation.

    An Elder resumed a study with him. However, the man stated that he and his former study conductor only studied and discussed the Bible - no books!

    So the Elder said OK, but when the C.O. visited, he told the Elder that the Bible Teach book must be studied with the man!

    Studying the Bible is a Witness no-no!!! Literature must be studied. Sigh!

  • carla
    carla

    I think it is a mistake to agree to use the NWT at all. If you must use the NWT then do it only if you can get your hands on an old KIT as well and see where they have made all the changes, use footnotes, Greek, etc...... it is a 'study' after all. She certainly could not object to using their own literature.

    I was under the impression that a jw can use other Bibles if absolutely necessary, so do so if possible. Would it be possible to start at the New Testament and read from the beginning to the end without ANY commentary from anybody? not one word, read only. Well, I can tell you it is not possible but be would a way to go. I know, I tried this with my jw and he just could not resist having to say something. That ended that.

    jw's have no concept of what a real Bible study is and I agree with you that it is a ridiculous notion that one cannot understand the Bible without the wt. Not only that but one cannot understand the wt's and other rags just by reading them either! one must go to the meetings to truly understand all things jw!

    As for her using the 'your not head of the spiritual household' routine! that just pisses me off! anyway, my jw used to try to say he was the head but I simply said that what he was saying was in reference to Christians and he was not one so it didn't apply to him. He didn't claim to be one of the anointed so ......... Jesus was not his personal Savior he only could hang onto the coattails of the 144,000 and Jesus was their Savior hence he was not a Christian but watchowerite. He put his salvation in the hands of the wt therefore he was not a Christian so anything he said held no sway in this house. Yeah, kind of made for ww3 but my kids were safe and are now Christians who will never ever become jw's.

    If you are going to err, then err on the side of protecting your kids from this cult that at times physically, emotionally and spiritually abuses it's members.

    wishing you all the best,

    carla

  • menrov
    menrov

    Hi garyneal, more or less the same overhere. I also insisted on just reading the bible. In the end,it was somewhat agreed but of course, which translation to use. Like Carla indicates, I would not agree so easily on just using the NWT as most of us know that it contains various renderings that are to push their doctrines.

    I would suggest to use other translations besides the NWT, like the RNWT (already contains many changes), the kingdom interlinear (WT also uses that) and the New English Translation with footnotes (NET) as the latter has many good footnotes explaining why certain things were translated as they did but often also show what others have.

    Biblehub can be used of course or this one: http://studybible.info/

    Good luck

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    explain to me why a Bible study cannot be a simple reading of the Bible

    That's a great question. You should insist that your wife answer it.

    The real answer is that studying the Bible alone would never lead a person to accept the numerous WT teachings, practices and doctrines.

    But more importantly, it would not lead a person to profess obedience to the organization. Ultimately, it's about control. The WTBTS is a high-control, authoritarian religion. The Bible alone is insufficient to indoctrinate an individual into their belief system.

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