Well, as I mentioned before in one of my few other posts, I've been lurking here for some time now and finally decided it was time to face the facts and take action.
I was raised a JW (4th generation) and my parents were quite zealous when they got married. Mom was a Regular Pioneer and Dad was a MS. I was the little JW 'rockstar' in my congregation, got baptized at 10, was giving talks and serving as an attendant at the hall and at conventions at such an early age. Auxiliary pioneered whenever I could. When I was 19 my parents divorced and eventually faded but I continued showing that 'zeal'. I had never questioned anything about the Watchtower, genuinely believed it was the truth, and tried to share it with whomever it was possible.
But then I started thinking. "We preach so much but hardly anyone comes to the KH, are we using the right method'? Then there was the common gossip you find in every congregation, people talking about other people behind their backs, 'elderettes' you name it. I thought I had to work on my faith, so I started reading the bible more and praying. Then some scriptures started troubling me, such as when Jehovah kills 70,000 because David took a census, when Moses ordered the troops to kill all the children and women etc. I started to realize that the WT had been proclaiming the end was close for more than 100 years. I started visiting some websites, this one being the most helpful, and realized I was not alone. I bought Crisis of Conscience and 'devoured' it within one week. The generation change in 1995, the procedure the GB uses to make decisions, the Malawi-Mexico double stantard etc. It was so interesting and shocking to read at the same time. Still, I thought, "even if this religion made (and continues to make) some mistakes, we're still better than the rest, with their 'silly' beliefs in trinity, hellfire, etc. So I continued.
I had my awakening moment in the middle of last years DC. I already knew (from reading it here btw) that there was going to be a change concerning the 'Generation that will not pass away' but didnt really give it second though. But when the speaker started discussing the overlapping generations, I just felt like throwing up, for real. It didn't make any sense! I will not go into depth as to why as it has been discussed here a lot of times. What also shocked me is that it seemed like nobody noticed, and later when I asked people to explain the 'new light' they didn't really get it. They were explaining the previous 'light'. Even though my parents are no longer active, I have friends with which I want to remain in contact (even though I now know their 'friendship' is conditional).
I decided I was going to play their game, continue going to meetings and keep field service to the lowest possible. It worked for a little while, but then it got too difficult to even sit through an entire each meeting. I missed one meeting, then I missed another one and so on. I've been absent for 3 months now. This last month was the first I didnt hand in a time slip. Luckily, no elders have contacted me yet, but I have decided I'm not going back again.
These last months I've been enjoying life, getting to know new people, looking at them in the eye and knowing that they won't be destroyed along with 99% of humanity simply because they are not JWs. So in my mind I have already made my decision: Today is day one of the rest of my life. If you've been reading this far thanks a lot, and I look forward to continue interacting with all of you.