Disfellowshiped ARE REQUIRED to sit in the library!

by brotherdan 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • brotherdan
    brotherdan

    My mother-in-law is making leaps and bounds in her progress to get out of the Watchtower. For those of you that don't know, she is df'd but has been working on "coming back". Recently I've been able to exchange emails about the dangers of the organization and share Jesus with her. She finished Crisis today and emailed me about how she's grieving. She's realized that for 39 years she has been a captive of an illusion that has just disappeared.

    In one of her emails to me today she said that yesterday at the Sunday meeting she sat in the back row of the front hall. She also stayed for the song and prayer. After the meeting 2 elders came up to her and told her that this was NOT allowed. She needed to sit in the back room and either leave before the song and prayer, or walk out immediately after they were over.

    As sad as that is for her, it was another nail in the coffin. She wrote me, "That counsel was about as unchristian as the counsel about not holding hands during the prayer. It's ridiculous."

    I guess this wouldn't seem that amazing unless you knew my MIL.

    At the end of her email she said, "You realize we could be disfellowshiped for these emails...oh wait...I'm already disfellowshiped!"

    She also commented on (get this) how she's been reading the Bible without "Watchtower Lenses" and she is seeing how they have slanted everything away from Jesus! She's making some great progress!!!

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    She sure is. I think your mother is awake, and there will be no turning back.

  • sir82
    sir82

    Definitely just tied to that body of elders. It's certainly not an organization policy.

    If she wanted to make a fuss she could write to the CO and/or branch, but it sounds like it's not worth it.

  • undercover
    undercover
    In one of her emails to me today she said that yesterday at the Sunday meeting she sat in the back row of the front hall. She also stayed for the song and prayer. After the meeting 2 elders came up to her and told her that this was NOT allowed. She needed to sit in the back room and either leave before the song and prayer, or walk out immediately after they were over.

    Must be a congregation rule by stick-up-the-ass elders. Of all the congregations I've been associated with, DFd people sat whereever they could find a seat and left after the final prayer.

    But it's all good. It just shows the legalistic approach of dealing with 'sinners'. No mercy, no kindness. Just shunning. If it opens her eyes then it's a good thing.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    These elders are going beyond the rules. If someone wants to be reinstated, they gotta kiss their asses and cooperate. But otherwise, I would tell them to "call the society" about that. A DF'ed person can sit wherever they want and they can sing and nobody is supposed to suggest they leave before the prayer. While it makes sense to leave right after the prayer, it ain't a rule either. If a DF'ed person is riding with a family member or something (or just isn't ready to leave), they can sit there quietly and let people shun them after the meeting.

    If I were DF'ed and in the area (or wanted to pretend I was never a dub), I would be tempted to go to that Kingdom Hall and talk to your MIL after the meeting. What could they do?

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    At least if there's any left, she could read the older publications to see the lies told about the big 'A' and a whole host of things.

    Deprogram them at all costs!!!!

    The more that exodus from the Borg the better it is to spread the word of the GB's deceit and that they really are the 'filthful syliva cl-arse', big business scam artists!

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    In our hall DFed people always sat at the back.

    But it's been a while since we had any DFed people attending and sick and infirm people have now colonised the back, so I don't know where a DFed person would sit now.

  • brotherdan
    brotherdan

    Yeah, I'm sure it's an elder thing. But it is the common occurance to have the df'd sitting in the back. Those lowly, sinful, pathetic, swamp creatures of the devil.

    She's just noticing the whole lack of love thing. Plus she's said that she is extremely bothered by how they changed Matthew 28:19,20 so that people are dedicating themselves to "god's spirit directed organization" instead of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

    So yeah, I agree with cantleave. I think she may be past the point of no return!

  • brotherdan
    brotherdan

    At least if there's any left, she could read the older publications to see the lies told about the big 'A' and a whole host of things.

    Yeah, actually her habit has been to sit in the back and read an NIV bible during the meeting. It's hilarious because it belongs to the hall and has a big huge cross on it. Her eyesight is REALLY bad, so she hold it up in the air to see it. So all you see when you look in the back room is someone reading a big book with a cross. Good for her! I think she knows what she's doing... :-)

  • brotherdan
    brotherdan
    If I were DF'ed and in the area (or wanted to pretend I was never a dub), I would be tempted to go to that Kingdom Hall and talk to your MIL after the meeting. What could they do?

    I'm not df'd and I did that a few weeks ago. I got the stink eye from a few people and she ended up telling me, "Maybe you shouldn't talk to me. You're going to get me in more trouble." I was like, "Why would YOU get in trouble when I came up to talk to you?" She said that they view it as a lack of respect for the df'ing arrangement.

    Well...I guess I don't have ANY respect for it.

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    OTWO I think you might be on to something there!

    If I were DF'ed and in the area (or wanted to pretend I was never a dub), I would be tempted to go to that Kingdom Hall and talk to your MIL after the meeting. What could they do?

    That might be a neat idea for some subversive apostate collective action. We could go to a hall where no one knows us and where there is likely to be DFed people sitting at the back and talk to them after the meeting. That would put the noses of the elders out of joint and perhaps shame the other Witnesses who are shunning their former friends. Who knows it might start a trend and bring the whole shunning edifice tumbling down. Well one can dream anyway.

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    she's said that she is extremely bothered by how they changed Matthew 28:19,20 so that people are dedicating themselves to "god's spirit directed organization" instead of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

    Very good point!

    I rest my case thet the Governing Body are getting more Anti-Christ every day.

  • carla
  • jookbeard
    jookbeard

    that'll having flooding back

  • miseryloveselders
    miseryloveselders

    That elder body is WAY out of line. She needs to write the Branch, and pronto. Something I've been meaning to do is share some notes regarding the treatment of disfellowshipped as relayed to us at the KM School for elders. The way the material was relayed to us, it left me under the impression that Bethel Heavies and Branch Heavies including COs/DOs, are getting feedback of inappropriate treatment of the disfellowshipped and even those recently reinstated. They probably recognize that disfellowshipping is questionable in itself, to the point that they don't need elder bodies going above and beyond in humiliating those being sanctioned.

  • blondie
    blondie

    It depends on the BOE. I had been a jw for over 40 years and in several congregations and never saw that happen. I even saw df'd children of jws sit with their parents (18 and over in age). The library/second school and the back seats were always quickly filled up by late people, parents with small children, the library was reserved for people with allergies. I have seen df'd people sit with their jw spouses as well, come together to the meeting in the same car. I would like to see something in writing, either a publication, a letter to the BOE, or in the elder's manual that requies this.

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67
    After the meeting 2 elders came up to her and told her that this was NOT allowed. She needed to sit in the back room and either leave before the song and prayer, or walk out immediately after they were over.

    I think they are going far beyond what is required by demanding this.

  • Nobleheart
    Nobleheart

    Nice to hear of your MIL's progress brodan. It's always great to see someone start thinking. And in this case the elders who are supposed to be kind, loving shepherds are actually contributing in this sheep never returning to the flock.

  • Pitchess Co-Gen
    Pitchess Co-Gen

    This rule is totally man made, and this is what I don't like about Jehovah Witness Congregations . The fact that the way one congregation is ran in one part of the world , could be totally different in another part of the world. I thought they had rules to ''how to treat the disfellowshipped''?

  • moshe
    moshe

    Well then, don't volunteer for this abuse from the elders!

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