Got this in an email.
Please include the reminders below in the NRO (New Resurrected Ones)
2-year review meeting. Thank you.
WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD! We hope your stay here has been a pleasant one.
However, to assist in making your new life pleasant and enjoyable, please
consider the following reminders.
1. With regards to food, we must ask you newly resurrected ones to please
get over the idea of eating meat. This is particularly important in view of
all the animals walking around now. Thus…
2. NO, you cannot have a hamburger, filet mignon, or baby back ribs. Look,
everyone is going through adjustments to be here, it's not just you. After a
while, you will get used to vegetables--really.
3. Many of you are anxious to get in touch with long lost loved ones, but
you're going to have to be patient. There is no email anymore. So those of
you who were alive in the last days of the old system, you're just going to
have to rely on word of mouth and/or letters for now. You can't update your
Facebook page, nor tweet "I can't believe I made it!" on your Twitter
We don't have any plans for anything resembling the Internet until at least
after Satan is removed from his abyss and destroyed, so you're looking at
least 1,000 years minimum. (Now you can appreciate how everyone else lived
before the 1990's.)
4. While we're speaking of technology, for those of you who lived in the
20th century, television is also out for now. (Do you know how ugly the New
World would look with antennas sticking up all over the place?) Have you
ever seen a satellite dish in any of the Society's New World illustrations?
Didn't think so.
We promised to get you here, and you made it - that's great. But you're not
going to be able to catch up on all the movies, sporting events, or Star
Trek episodes that you missed after you died. And don't even THINK about
5. One of the blessings of the New World is peace with the animal realm, so
it is sad that some are engaging in practical jokes.
For example, on at least three occasions, friends have evacuated the water
and beaches of the shore when someone on land thought it would be funny to
yell "Shark!" This put a good scare in everyone until they realized that
sharks are now as timid as minnows. It may have been funny watching your
brothers and sisters run from the water, but this isn't loving, is it?
6. In the Old World, when asked, "What do you want to do in the New World
almost everyone has said, "learn to play an instrument." Therefore, many
are doing this today.
Please…we beg you -- JUST STOP.
Realize that you're not a very good musician. There are other talents you
could pursue at this time. Music is just not one of them.
However, if you insist on continuing, could you at least keep it down
please? Close the windows? Shut the doors? Practice in a closet?
Someday you may perfect this. But you will not be perfect for at least
years and neither will your playing.
Consideration people, that's all we're asking.
7. Finally, we're all happy to be here in the New World and there is much
work to do. Everyone is required to work, and we do have sufficient time
to rest and recreate. Yet, it has been reported that some brothers have
attempted to call in and take SICK DAYS.
Brothers, there are NO SICK DAYS. This is the New World , remember? Does
expression "No resident will say, 'I am sick.'" sound familiar?
You may have been able to use this excuse for your worldly employer, but it
won't be accepted here.
Now, we hope everyone will cooperate with these points for the benefit of