by flipper 175 Replies latest jw friends
Cedars, thanks for adding some details (and I totally understand those that are left out!)
It seems the key is that you have the "I'm offended and demand an apology" card to play.
Good call. Elders don't like to apologize and as long as they have nothing on you they are completely off-balance and don't know how to proceed.
Keep the profile low and under the radar!
LongHairGal, interesting turn of events. Please keep us posted.
00DAD
Sorry I missed that this thread had continued to be bumped up a couple weeks ago ! Thanks for your comments !
CEDARS- Interesting post by you. I did what you would call an " abrupt fade " myself when I stopped attending 9 years ago. The elders tried calling me for about a month, then stopped when I told them I had nothing to talk with them about. They too botched up my situation by treating me unjustly and giving me their personal opinions as counsel instead of using the WT publications or the Bible. It sounds like you have the situation you are dealing with well in hand and you are handling it well. Just be cautious about what you say and who you say it to. Many of these elders are tricky serpentines whose main devotion is to the WT society as a company man- not to their former friendship with us. Hope things are going well with your wife's fade as well ! Take care.
00DAD- Good points you bring out. If we can all pull together and give each other feedback on how we exited and handled the fading thing- especially in dodging the elders, I think it would be a good thing.
LONG HAIR GAL- Wow ! After 11 years you are getting called by a friend who wants to hook the elders up with calling on you ? Incredible. These people just don't give up do they ? In the area I live in I was incognito for the first 5 years I lived here claiming to be a relative of my JW family but never in myself as I had never attended meetings since I moved up here. I was off the radar allegedly. My cover got blown in the spring of 2011 when my adult daughter told the P.O. in out town that " Oh my dad lives up in your territory and here's his address ! " So an elder called one time on me, a solo elder, and I explained to him why I stopped attending and about my concerns- he said he'd call back, but I think I scared him and he never came back ! LOL ! Since then NO Witnesses have come to our door, I think we're marked as a " do not call " or something. Just as well. I'd rather be left alone. Good luck with your situation my friend, be careful, keep us iup to date, O.K. ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper
LITTLEROCKGUY- Hilarious youtube ! LOL ! Thanks for posting . Good stuff ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
A lot of really good experiences to learn from here. Feel free to share yours
Honestly, I have a harrasment and slander story, but it would be too obvious who I am if someone was lurking. Plus that aharrasment was when I was still towing the company line for the most part. I think my current mind state has been a long time coming without neccesarily knowing. It all started when i was serving over seas if you can believe it.
To be honest, the elders have basically left me alone. A couple came by to visit and have dinner. We didn't really go there, and then at the end of the night asked me what I was having an issue with. I was honest to the extend I felt would not put me in a compromising situation. He was generally pretty realisitc and reasonable. He was cussing trying to show he is "cool" I guess. Very odd behavior. Still thoguht I should go to meetings more and be patient while Jehovah works it out, but basically saw my point on some issues. So pretty easy.
Got a call from a brother just to say hello. I called him back and said hi. How are you, hows the wife etc... He just said they thought of me and hoped I was ok. I told him I was fine and I appreciated being thought of. He said he would probably continue to call to check up on me and that he loved me. I thanked him, and said he is always welcome to call.
I am fairly well known in my area, have been in two halls locally (one I left in a pretty high profile way), and I am approaching the dreaded 6 month mark. So far, so good. Nobody has bothered me, and I am not the type to self hari-kari.
One thing I wish in reading some of these, is that you all would not have allowed yourselves to be disfellowshipped. You can do more good if they don't get to do that to you, and you can fight it legally, and in the US, probably even for free if you have to. I know you get fed up, but I'll be damned if anyone will be allowed to harm my public reputation that way.
Anyone know how I can get my records from the branch here in the USA? Is there a law in particular I can run past my attorney? Anyone had any success?
Ha! Funny running into this thread after two years . Well since my first post on this thread, never got DF'd, moved away...and then out of the blue I got a text from a JW (he has no position in the congregation I attended).
He said that he had my phone number for a couple of years and decided to see how I was doing, it was a light hearted conversation (with him attempting some weird flirtations to which I told him I am in a relationship)...then I finally got down to the point "why are you texting me if I am shunned by everyone?"
He replied that he had only been to a couple of meetings in the past few years, he friended me on fb (I gave him restricted access). Then he sent me a message asking me why I left the organization. I replied with my tale of my stalking and harassment by elders (never gave away names) & told him how happy I was with my life choices, & that the door was open if he needed help. Then his reply "Jehovah gave us all free choice, sorry things were so rough for you, PLEASE be careful"...then he unfriended me on fb.
JWs are so weird....(don't know if this little interchange with my past will bite me in the ass, I will be sure to let you all know if it does)
CHG
I was for a while. Hadn't attended a meeting in months... heard nothing from them. Then I got seen buying a packet of ciagarettes and I had them showing up to the college I was studying at the time (unfortunately for them... I didn't attend the class so wasn't there) because apparently they could not find me home. Never told anyone from the congregation I was attending this college... and hadn't seen anyone from the congregation there... not sure exactly how they knew what my schedule was either, it was a night class.
Wasn't trying to avoid them, they really must have been calling at my home when I wasn't there. When they did eventually catch up with me I copped an earful about the smoking... about how disappointed my JW mother (lovely women who's favourite pasttimes were running down everyone behind their backs and torturing the dog) and grandmother (loved to clap her hands in my face and chant "mentally retarded" at me) will be when in the new system () when they would have to tell them how I didn't survive armageddon and how close we are and how important it was for me to go back... and of course, face a JC. Didn't attend the JC, best decision I ever made.
I was stalked many years ago as I was reevaluating things. Unfortunately I decided to go back was the lesser of two evils. I am now fading. 2 yrs ago meeting attendance became sporadic and a little over a yr ago I stopped all together. I have been contacted by an elder who I suspect has his own doubts because he has no interest in trying to persuade me to return. I have had a couple of "encouraging" calls from ones bemoaning the idea that my child and I are about to endure a horrible death at Armageddon if I don't attend meetings again. I told this person I would rather die this death she believes will happen rather than be viciously verbally attacked by ignorant people like herself. I have had no more calls. And if I am approached for anything judicial I will most certainly include a lawyer because I have done nothing to warrant such and WILL fight.
Wow ! Didn't realize this had been bumped up and commented on 14 days ago ! My apologies for not noticing before as I've been working a lot. Thanks for your great comments. I'll reply.
PROBLEMADDICT- In answer to your question about how to get your records from the WT Society- I suggest you PM the poster JW FACTS as he did that I believe in his country. He may be able to explain to you how he did it and you could also check his threads he started to see him explain it. He did start a thread about it as I remember it from several years ago.
It sounds like you have been able to fade with not too much trouble. Sometimes it's not that easy to AVOID getting DFed. It depends how hard a$$ the elders are in the particular congregation you're in. Some elders will DF a person at the drop of a hat, or virtually create something to get a person if they want to DF them. I had to fight like hell to avoid getting DFed, and I won my appeal, then they left me alone after that. It just depends who you are whether they chase after you or not. Or IF they perceive you as a threat to the congregation .
COFFEEHOUSEGIRL- I'm glad things have been going smoothly for you since you exited the JW cult. It sounds like the JW who tried to get a hold of you is pretty mind controlled still at this point. Especially if he unfriended you on Facebook. He may have just been fishing for information on you, flirting- or a combination of the both - but once you told him you were happy being away from the JW's he lost interest, so he's not over the WT Society yet. Take care.
BRINJEN- Wow! Interesting experience you had, sounds like your JW mom and grandmother were a bit untethered to put it mildly. Torturing dogs and your grandmother clapped her hands in your face calling you " mentally " retarded ? Jesus Christ. I'm glad you escaped the JW's with your wits about you ! I hope the elders have left you alone now and stopped bothering you ! Good gawd.
JOYFULFADER- I agree with you- it really is insulting when elders or other JW's come to us as faders and tell us we are going to die at Armageddon or our children will die if we don't return to meetings. They don't know ! Yet they claim to know everything. It's ridiculous. I'm like you- I DID fight against the elders when they tried DFing me and I won my appeal because I threatened them with a lawsuit of defamation of character and slander if they DFed me without proof of any wrongdoing. They backed off due to the letter and they had no proof. You have the right idea to stand up to them. Usually the elders OR the WT Society don't expect that. When you take control, they shrink. Peace out, mr. Flipper
