Oho, I love this thread. Its very relevant to my life story too. I was shunned for the first time in 2005 by an influential elder in my congregation during District Convection gathering. He refused to speak to me. He had to stubbornly look the other way around as I was speaking to him. Wow, due to my popularity and a high sense of sociability,being able to go along with as many JWs as possible, the shunning was certainly very hard to implement as many of those told privately to shun me, did not even know the best way to do it. When I released I was being shunned, I moved to speaking to old and new friends from other congregations at assemblies as that was the only rare occassion for 'interchange of encouragement and upbuildng' Since friends were unaware of shunning, a small hardcore Ministerial Servants and Pioneers ladies were specifically assigned to overshadow me at all meetings and 'warn' others of the shunnig enforcement rule currrently in force against me.
The bad thing is that,you never is told that you are Being shunned but have to see it by yourself. At one time in a congregation during book/magazine order pickup after meeting, I spoke to a pioneer JW friend who had been working at Bethel a few years before. Fortunately, he was working with another pioneer JW on the counter desk. He too was my friend but he was unaware of the shunning in effect against me. (Here, shunning is a private one-to-one message spread not announced publicly in meetings). Having seen the ex-Bethelite shun me by refusing to speak to me, the other JW was concerned and asked what was wrong. The brother was ashamed for not explaining. I was also mad by telling him point blank that 'you do not love me, you hate me.' Later we were assigned in field service with him as part of a car group. You know what, I did not have cash money for some item but that brother who shunned me, gave me $20.00 amazingly, not as a loan but possibly to show that he still 'loves' me. Now I have heard from an inside source that the brother and his wife have both faded just recently from the congragation. Sigh.
Naturely, when I realised I was being shunned, I started feeling bad,lost self esteem, started aging very fast as I even saw about three gray hairs over my head for the first time. For about a month, I developed lack of appetite and lost significant amount of weight. My own reputation, biuit over the years was at stake. Little by little, I was lossing lots of JW friends and I the matter was compounded by having very few friendly worldly peolple whom ironically, I had limited contacts as they were 'worldly' people by WTS standard.
Fortunately, I knew as it later happened, elders would eventually visit to 'counsel' me. But I make sure, this does not happen. I started trashing all the WTS publications, joined JWN site, 'apostate site' to figure out what was going on. I also instituted my own shuning policy against any future JWs contacts especially any future visits from Elders. Amazingly, it has worked for me. I has shunned any communication with them over the years. They tried over and over again to contact me, through email, personal visits but I refused to speak to them. At one time, a car showed at my apt sametime as I was exiting the apt to drive away for work. You know what.? I just started the engine and drove away leaving the invited two quests to ponder their next move. Yes, shunning have not only to be coming from JWs, you too have a right to shun them to shock them and show that its a two-way street.
Now after a few years, the elder who shunned me at assembly, emailed me but I refused to reply back. You see, these people have the nerve to contact us after shuning us in the first place. Later on, there were several attempts to communicate wth me using some friends who were closer to me but are from other congregations. I too refused to reply to them. Its really very effective to refuse to reply back whenever possible. It has worked for me. I do not have a JW family and probably this might be the reason why it worked best to my advantage. So some of you who still have JW families in borg certainly, may be having a hard time coping with this shunning practice. You have my support and encouragement. Please,never give up. Stand firm. We are here for you.