by dgp 17 Replies latest jw experiences
I noticed what shopaholic and jacqui said. One of the witnesses I met is a fan of the manufacturer of artificial vaginas, which is not the kind of thing I would expect a witness to recognize being a "fan" of. It doesn't seem to have any effect on his witness Facebook friends. I also noticed that they usually don't say they are witnesses.
Greenie, you're right in your remark. For some reason, some witnesses don't say they are witnesses. Maybe someone else can explain why.
probably not advisable for them to be on FB in the first place. but people do what they want at the end of the day. even JWs
I have Worldy friends on FB and I also have JW firends as well. The Worldly ones have not turned out to be apostates and try to kwwp me from being a JW. My JW friends are true JWs and aren't false bro's/sis in disguise. Their behaviour would reveal such things.
My cong. knows i use FB and seem to have no problem with it
Hehe I got a message on FB from a JW girl in Australia who I had known while she was living here in the UK. I hadnt seen her in years. She was so friendly in her message, was really nice. Then I politely replied that I was no longer a JW, and if that wasnt a problem she was welcome to be FB friends. Never heard from her again...
I'm guessing that FB would be heavily frowned upon by the WT, as it's something that worldly people do to socialise/network, so I can't see how they could be happy about JWs becoming involved in it. It also encourages JWs to spend more time on the internet, which increases the chances of them stumbling upon the nasty scandals and hidden secrets of the WT.
Basically anything that's fun and enjoyable can be targeted by the WT, and as FB is fairly new, it'll take some time for them to start the 'suggestions'(Read: orders) to 'seriously consider' (Read: Do it!!!) avoiding facebook, but i'm sure they'll get there. They want members to feel guilty about every non-WT related activity they take part in. I remember, years ago, an Elder telling me he had tried a golfing game on a games console and found it rather fun. He wouldnt be playing it again though, as "these things are designed to take up your time"(the implication was that Satan had designed this game). Utter claptrap!!
I am really confused on this general issue and would really appreciate understanding more about this. I have been under the impression that any baptized JW, in order to remain in good standing, should not "unevenly yoke" themselves with worldly people. The behavior I observe however seems to contradict that.
When my friend T (female JW about to be baptized) said that she and I couldn't know each other anymore unless I start doing bible studies, I asked her if she was also putting this same condition on her friendship with C (a non-JW female). She said no ... basically the difference being that I'm male and C is female, and that makes all the difference. I also noticed that her mother, the driving force for JW in her family, has wordly friends on Facebook from her high school days, and T's family all visit their non-JW family at least once a year. In fact T was telling me how her mother and uncle were debating religion when they were visiting ... JW vs. Baptist, or something like that.
So what's the story here? Is this a "technical" rule which is subject to discretion, a matter of "personal choice" or something like that, or is this a serious breach of conduct that would be punished somehow if the wrong people found out?
I mean ... what I read here and elsewhere online about JW rules is significantly different from what I see being practiced by those I know who are apparently in very good standing, and I don't know what to make of it.
About the family: As far as I remember, there is nothing in the WT's regulations that says someone like 'T' cant visit/talk to her family members, regardless of their religious beliefs. Even if they're disfellowshipped they can still talk to them (although many get carried away by their emotions and righteous indignation and choose to 'shun' anyway). Although the WT might slip in a little suggestion to be 'mindful' when in the company of worldly family members, I dont recall them ever ordering people(offcially at least) to break off contact with family members. I think the strongest thing they counselled was to keep 'associations to a minimum' with disfellowshipped family members. If they relatives have never been disfellowshipped, and are part of a Baptist church, the witnesses in the KH might encourage contact with them, so that they can 'bring them the truth', who knows?
About worldly friends: When I was a JW worldly friends were vehemently discouraged, so much so that I started to view non-jws as almost sub-human. FB wasnt around when I was in the 'troooth', but chatting to and becoming friendly with worldly people on the internet was just as strongly looked down upon as making friends with co-workers, classmates, etc. On top of that though, I think association with worldly people of the opposite sex was even more taboo, because of the fornicatory reasons that jws love to dwell obsessively on night and day. So what she's saying to you might not be much of a deviation from what you'll find in mainstream jw thinking(twisted in logic as it is).
About the mother: She's got worldly friends on FB because, let's face it, you hardly ever have any contact with 90% of the people on facebook anyway, and they are often little more than a photo album and a sentence or two posted next to their name, if anything. I'm sure that'll be her reasoning, that they arent 'real' friends, so it doesnt matter. She's being naughty though, she's not listening to the WT, cause the WT actively discourages socialising with non-jw friends, as I mentioned before.
What you MIGHT find, is that if an Elder, or Elder's wife that she respects, was to highlight this in a critical way, or if this came up in a very damning talk from a CO, that she might suddenly choose to delete all those friends....It would be unlikely that she would give a toss if you pointed this out to her, cause you're just a worldly little nobody in her eyes, what do you know....?
long story short = no, they shouldnt be having worldly friends on FB, but more importantly, should YOU be considering ending YOUR association with 'T' if it looks like she's going down the fundamentalist road...? What exactly would you have in common anyway? Trust me, its difficult maintaining a friendship inspite of the WT brainwashing, I know, i've been there(except I was the brainwashed person). If she gets deeper and deeper into the JW mindset, accept that(for the moment at least) your friend is gone, and take several steps back. You never know, she might come round later in life, and you can be mates again...
"long story short = no, they shouldnt be having worldly friends on FB, but more importantly, should YOU be considering ending YOUR association with 'T' if it looks like she's going down the fundamentalist road...? What exactly would you have in common anyway? Trust me, its difficult maintaining a friendship inspite of the WT brainwashing, I know, i've been there(except I was the brainwashed person). If she gets deeper and deeper into the JW mindset, accept that(for the moment at least) your friend is gone, and take several steps back. You never know, she might come round later in life, and you can be mates again..."
You speak wisdom. If I had half a brain (and an adequate measure of a couple other body parts) I would have already severed ties by telling her that the idea of my becoming a JW is just never going to work out, and then letting her do her thing, i.e. slam the "door" in my face (interesting analogy I didn't think about until after I said it!). I have been stalling, I guess.
I've been trying to come to a nice tidy point of closure by keeping some final promises ... helping her with some computer stuff that has been several months on the "to do list", after which I have been planning to drop the bomb, and then go about pursuing my recovery. According to her she's been going through never ending post-op issues after having back surgery in late December. This nice tidy transition is turning into a messy skid mark. I simply need to be man enough to hasten the coming of what I do not want to happen but which needs to happen as soon as possible.
p.s. ... if the website is correct in its accounting, that was the last post I am allowed on here for around 10 hours, so if I suddently disappear for the rest of the day/night, that would be why. :(
Hi Leec, Yeah that's a tough situation, the last thing you want is a giant messy skidmark of a friendship. I know what JWs would counsel her to do if she were in your position, they would tell her to, "harden her heart" and to "be mindful" that "bad associations spoil useful habits", and they wouldnt give a shit if you had a bad back! Never underestimate the lack of humanity that is present in religious fundamentalists, even the most seemingly nice ones. They are after all, in hopeless devotion to a God that has in the past sanctioned genocide, child murder/rape and slavery, and a complete lack of pity for those in disagreement with him. If you havent read the Old Testament I suggest you have a little look, just one nice example is the book of 'Numbers' Chapter 31, quite enlightening. Your friend will be reading passages like that and trying to justify why mass murder and sexual slavery of children was the right thing to do... She told you you couldnt remain friends unless you 'study' the bible with jws right(Read: be spoon-fed watchtower publications and agree with it all unquestioningly)? That was her ultimatum, you didnt give it, she did. So you can tell her the truth, you arent interested in being a JW, it's just not for you, and if she cant accept that then sadly you can no longer be friends. After that I would end the friendship with a clear conscience, regardless of whatever back pains she is suffering, etc. If Jehovah is so special for her she can ditch her friends for him, then let him take care of her, and help her out. I know It sounds harsh, but you didnt ask for this...I would just tell her plainly that you arent interested in ever becoming a JW, and see what her reaction is. I'm guessing that would be the end of the matter....
