Help Me Please !!!!!!!!

Maddie

I need some support and advice with my situation and hope you don't mind me going on a bit because I feel wretched! I hurt so much with my JW family relationship and find it so frustrating that whatever I do or say doesn't make any difference.

My son and wife had a little girl 9 months ago, my first and only grand child and I love her so much. When she was born my hubby and I helped them a lot wiith buying all the expensive things she needed, as my son hadn't a well paying job as being a die hard JW he believes in the "education and career isn't what you should be doing propaganda" put out buy the WT. We were delighted to do this and all I have asked is to see them and be a part of my grand daughter's life sometimes.

I know I should be grateful that they let me see them at all, considering I told them about the UN involvement, failed prophecies, abuse cover-ups etc and they know I don't go to the KH any more. My husband thinks they treat me badly and that I let them blackmail me emotionally by not telling them off. So many times we have arranged with them to go over and see them and I get a text message at the last minute making some excuse why its not convenient for them. I get very upset as I am tonight and it keeps happening. He told me on the phone tonight that I can go over in two weeks time as they are busy until then and when I said I haven't seen them for 4 weeks already, he said I shouldn't measure time like that, whatever that means! If I tell him it upsets me not seeing them for long periods of time, he passes it off. After speaking to him I cry.

How do you think I should handle it? All I want is to have a normal relationship with my son and grand daughter. My DIL controls the situation and I don't get a chance to see my son without her being around - she makes sure of it.

Am I fighting a losing battle? I don't know what to do for the best any more.

Maddie

myababes

You poor thing my heart really goes out to you, to not see my beautiful grandaughter would break my heart so can imagine what you are going through.

Perhaps you could write him a letter adressed personally to him but get someone else to write on the address so neither of them can reconise our writing. he will have opened it and then realise it was from you without her getting to it first.

Then pour out your heart o him re the way you feel. Back off with all the untruths you have discovered for the moment let sleeping dogs lie for a while just concentrate on rebuilding bridges with him after all a mothers love is not easily dismissed.

west123

I am so sorry about your situation...Just losing my mother to cancer I hate it when I hear stories such as this. If I could move time back I would spend every second with my mother because right now I feel like it was not nearly enough, even though I saw her everyday..

Maybe you could focus on all the sacrifices you have made for him in your life..let him know that you did these things because you love him and that will never ever change. I wish somehow he could realize but it seems that you never realize how much someone means to you until they are not there...its an awful catch-22.

I wish you luck..I think the idea of writing him a letter is a good one, letters are captive audiences as the person must read the whole thing without a rebuttal..just try to reinforce the idea that you sacrificed so much for him, you deserve to still be very active in his and your granddaughters life.

Also, have you tried talking to your DIL?? or will she have no part of it? Just wondering because maybe there is something you could reconcile with her without your son around, understand where she is coming from better..just a suggestion.

sinis

You may want to tell him that once you are gone, your gone. No getting that person back. He will probably quote the Bible and JW bullshit on the paradise, but I would remind him that a "bird in hand is better than two in the bush". Live life now, for tomorrow we not know what it brings...

You may also want to just stop by. Don't call, just say you were in the neighborhood. Eventually, though, I would flat out ask them - face to face - why he is "shitting" on you, and keeping you away. After, all did you not bring him into this world, wipe his ass, and raise him, to what he has grown up to today? I would stress that you would like a little appreciation and seeing your grand child is not too much to ask.

Sounds like his wife is a jealous bitch!!!! No doubt she is trying to control him - such actions only split families. I would also ask your son if they go to her parents house on a regular basis - I bet they do.

As mentioned, remind your son that when you pass this world, he will no longer have the opportunity to change anything. I know what that feels like considering my grandfather was DF'd when I was 12 yo. My stepmother would not allow us kids to see him, and I never spoke to him or saw him until he was on his death bed some 7 years later. I curse the WTS to this day for taking away what matters in life, which is family...

Maddie

If I could move time back I would spend every second with my mother because right now I feel like it was not nearly enough, even though I saw her everyday..

west123 - I am so sorry you lost your mother like that. I know because I lost mine when I was aged 15 years old and I have never stopped missing her either. I think it makes it worse for me with my son because he doesn't want me and it really upsets me because I love him so much.

myababes - Yes I could try writing to him to express everything I feel and hope he has some compassion in his heart that hasn't been affected by being a JW.

Maddie

sinis

I would not waste your time writing - confront him face to face and point blank ask him. Do not give him the opportunity to white wash the situation. Confronting him will give you a more honest, straight forth answer.

Plummet

Have you tried meeting him for lunch at his work? Your daughter In-law would not be around to control him then. A heart to heart talk always has more value when spoken in person then when writen.

Maddie

Sounds like his wife is a jealous bitch!!!! No doubt she is trying to control him - such actions only split families. I would also ask your son if they go to her parents house on a regular basis - I bet they do.

sinis - I think you are right about my son's wife, she just wants to keep them to herself. I have always sensed this and seen evidence of her being controlling. As far as her family is concerned, they are not JW's and she isn't close to them. It seems from what she has said that she doesn't regard them as very important in her life.

Maddie

Casper

Maddie....

My Heart goes out to you.... what a terrible way for a new Grandmother to be treated...I have two grand children and couldn't handle being put off like that.

You may also want to just stop by. Don't call, just say you were in the neighborhood. Eventually, though, I would flat out ask them - face to face - why

I totally agree with the above.........I know, for me.........That is what I would do...

Sincerely,

Cas

AudeSapere

Babies change so much that in 4 weeks she'll be almost a different person. And 9 months is such a fun age!!

Would they allow you to babysit her so they can go to dinner?

I wouldn't give up on your son. I think it's Garybuss who says to think of JW's as having a form of mental retardation and treat them as such.

I'm sorry you have this heartbreaking situation in your life. I do understand the pain. Most of us do.

-Aude.

Help Me Please !!!!!!!!

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