Ever get spanked for pulling your dress up in the meeting when little? (page 3)

Nowman

I do not remember getting spanked at the KH, but I do remember going home many a nights and then I would get the beaten whether it was with a paddle or a belt, not found memories...

I wish I had something funny to say about it. I really do. But, it wasn't funny, it was humiliating.

Juni, you are a wonderful person, I know you mention how you feel guilty, but I assure you that your kids are truly apprecaitive to have their mom back. My mom says the same things you do (we reunited in 2000 after 8 years, I think you know this about me), today is today. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change the past, but it sure does seem like you raised your children the right way anyway, I am sure they appreciate you!!! I do.

Nikki

Gill

Perhaps JW parents smack their kids far too much because of the amount of pressure they are under from their very critical brothers and sisters. They are already stressed when they get to the KH where they are immeadiately under a magnifying glass and so.....in sheer frustration, anger and fear they hit out at the first thing that puts them under even more pressure, a child doing something that might be criticised.

I look at my fanatical JW mother and remember how she used to feel and probably does feel about her 'lubbing brudders' and know why she could tolerate absolutely nothing about me and my siblings. She had enough trouble being 'perfect' herself, and covering over for her abusive husband, never mind if any of us played up!

Pressure, pressure pressure!!!

That's why JWs are so miserable!!!

White Dove

Juni,

Ditto for me on what Nowman said. I made an appology to my kids for spanking them at all. They were so appreciative and said that they hope I'm not beating myself up over it 'cuz it's in the past. They are darling (normal too) teens, now:) My dad appologized to me for ever spanking us because we never did anything to deserve it. There are always options. My dad and I now have a much better relationship. For everyone's information: In scientific studies, it has been PROVEN that children who were spanked grow up to resent the parent who did it and that it strains future relationships of children with their parents. Remember: Treat you children nicely, for they will choose your nursing home:)

juni

I can understand why you're upset WhiteDove. No need for apologies. You have every right to be angry.

In this organization, kids are not allowed to be kids. More is expected from them than should be. It takes individual parents to put their foot down to the "big turds at the top" who have no idea about raising kids as most have none. They pontificate and encourage people to "jump" to their rules in order to be acceptable to God. They have set up a structured life for all of the members. They dictate the rules which, if you want to be accepted as a spiritual and faithful JW, you follow. There is no other way to gain Life or your Creator's approval.

Few think or do "outside of the box". They want for their families and themselves the "prize". The only way to attain that is to follow the WTB&TS's lead. That's why so many parents are hard on their kids.

They have contributed to the continuation of child abuse in my opinion.

Peace, Juni

Jim_TX

I guess part of this stems from the JWs not having a seperate room for the kiddos - something like 'Sunday School' - and they expect a young infant (0 to 8 yrs old) to sit quietly for 1 - 2.5 hours in a very uncomfortble chair.

Kiddos can't usually do this - and so - the wrath of the parent is exhibited in various ways - usually spanking.

Regards,

Jim TX

White Dove

Juni,

You are absolutely right! I'm in college studying sociology which is a study of how groups of people get along and develope over time. In my juvenile delinquency class, it said that girls who grew up abused will most probably abuse their children and become abused by their mates. Boys who are abused grow up to abuse their mates and children. That is modeling theory where the kids copy the same-sex parent's example (girls copy mothers and boys, their fathers) They don't have a basis for comparison to know any different.

It's an evil cycle that I vowed to break. In fact, my sister and I talked about it and promised to break that cycle ourselves when we had kids of our own someday. I had kids but she didn't. Neither of us are harsh. I changed my ways when I just could not bring myself to continue doing something so terrible to my loved ones (spanking with a board or spoon) anymore. I ordered my parents to not spank my kids, but they continued as they thought they had a right as they were in charge of them when I was in school. I almost lost my daughter over it. My mom used a leather belt on them, missing their buts and hitting their legs over and over and over again just as she did to us just as her father did to her. Nazi mentality!

White Dove

Jim-tx,

Adults can't sit there either! Have you ever seen adults milling around in the back? I can tell you, sisters cram themselves in the bathroom just to get circulation going in their legs again during the second song, which is a sin to miss, they tell us. I know one family whose grown daughter told me that her parents would not allow a bathroom break during the meetings. The kids could go to the bathroom but they would face a spanking (beating?) when they got home. This is a dangerous cult! I still can't get over it ! Oh, and why can kids sit for 3 and 4 hours in front of the TV but not at the meetings? Simple: THEIR MINDS ARE ENGAGED! The TV is not boring! Time flies when you're having fun! Meetings are boring for them and for a lot of men who I have seen snoring during the talks. Kids get elbows in ribs for sleeping but the men can do it. I never saw a sister sleep. Funny.

juni

I almost lost my daughter over it. My mom used a leather belt on them, missing their buts and hitting their legs over and over and over again just as she did to us just as her father did to her.

In what way did you almost lose your daughter?? Leaving my kids w/someone like your mother would not have been an option for me. I kept my kids from my mother because of her ways. They were only around her in my presence.

Abuse is passed on unless people decide to break the pattern. You are right.

Juni

White Dove

Juni,

My daughter became so filled with anger and hate because she didn't feel like anyone cared about her. I didn't hear about my mom's doings until later when my daughter told me what was happening. As soon as I could I took a year off from school and moved a very loooooooong ways away from them. My dad knows it was because of them without my having to tell him, but he and I are ok now.

juni

Thanks for your response. I wish you and your family the best.

Juni

Ever get spanked for pulling your dress up in the meeting when little?

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