im in love with a Jehovah's Witness

by saddler 66 Replies latest social relationships

  • Poodles
    Poodles

    Good morning Dr Jeky

    Yes! I figured that out the first six months into the relationship!! What does one do when the heart controls the brain?? You would think at 60 i would know better but i've never been in love before!

  • saddler
    saddler

    Well I know its been a few weeks since i last posted on here but my sweetheart and I have had much to discuse and have come to an agreement that we wont let our difference in religion get in the way of our love and happiness. She is about to tell the elders about us and has assured me that though thay may not like it thay will not stand in her way or forbid it as she has told me that there are about 12 members of her kingdom hall that are married to non Jehovah's Witnesses. She as also said that the elders would not interfear in our lives outside off the kingdom hall and I know that she is telling the truth and belive her so now we wait and see how things turn out hopefuly for the best. thankyou all for listening to me and replying to my posts on this forums.

  • jgnat
    jgnat
    What does one do when the heart controls the brain??

    Poodles, your brain says, "Heart, listen up!" Not that I'm exactly the poster girl for overriding the heart. I married my JW. What you have to ask yourself is if you have any hope of a future with this man.

    Saddler, I'm glad you've had a good heart-to-heart with your sweetheart. Please, do me a favor and check in with us once in a while. Love is a powerful thing, but even the strength of both you is going to be challenged in the next few months and years. I want to make sure the two of you do all right.

    ...have come to an agreement that we wont let our difference in religion get in the way of our love and happiness.

    My hubby and I came to the same agreement. Unfortunately, he renegs every time the Watchtower society comes out with a new campaign.

    She is about to tell the elders about us and has assured me that though thay may not like it thay will not stand in her way or forbid it as she has told me that there are about 12 members of her kingdom hall that are married to non Jehovah's Witnesses. She as also said that the elders would not interfear in our lives outside off the kingdom hall

    I am proud of her determination. Be prepared, the elders will be putting a lot of pressure on her. They may tell her that she is putting her eternal reward at risk. They may suggest that Jehovah will not hear her prayers. They will likely give her a list of scriptures that warn of the dire consequences of being "unequally yoked." All of these things happened to my JW husband when he confessed of our love.

    2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

    My quick retort to THIS of course, is that "I am not an unbeliever." Most JW's will be too polite to argue with you on THAT. But it's true, in their eyes, you are an unbeliever, condemned to die. I also reconciled myself to the "unequally yoked" scripture by pondering some of the unwise matches in my church. Some of these marriages happened because there were no more suitable candidates within our own congregation. They may have been "equally yoked" as far as religion, but in every other way incompatible. You may want to discuss this more with your partner, and remind each other of the qualities that make you well-suited for each other.

  • Poodles
    Poodles

    Good morning jgnat

    Michael and i will never marry or even live together because of his exwife and his adult daughters!! If they find out we made up they will shun him and he just can't take it, he doesn't have the emotional strenght to handle it w/o having a nervous breakdown which he had when his x divorced him!! Living a lie comes easy to him!! Of the many things he told me about himself over the past seven years i have learned a few things about what is going on in his head!! Sex is the most important thing to him, i think he uses that as a replacement for the love and affection he never received from his mother!!

    He is the oldest of three brothers and was always made to lookout for them and give up things for them as if he were the parent!! I do know that most if not all kids who are the oldest resent this job being forced on them by their parent/parents!! My mom did this to my sister who was the oldest and it still bothers her today that she lost some of her childhood looking out for us while mom was at work 5-6 days a week!!

    Of all the mistakes i have made in my life this one with Michael is the worst and i am trying to get past this hold he has on me!!

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Here's a tip for moving past an obsession.

    It does no good to say, "Stop thinking about hunkypoo. Now. Stop thinking. I mean it, stop thinking about hunkychunks. AAK! I'm still thinking about hunkydarling..." and so on.

    My pastor used to say, "You can't erase anything that is in your mind. Once it is in, it is there forever. What you can do is replace the pictures in the gallery of your mind." In other words, add other thoughts and memories. In your case, add other men. Join a local social club. Add more life to your life, and hunkychins will fade as a distant memory.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Another thought; one of the holds he has on you is that he thinks he knows your weakness, and he sincerely believes you are weak and unable to grow past him. Wouldn't it be lovely to prove him wrong? It might also force him to grow up and face his own insincerity.

  • delilah
    delilah

    Poodles, forgive me for saying this, but he is using you....to the max. He is using fear, to keep you at his beck and call. The same fear as the borg uses. The same way as his ex-wife and daughters are using fear, to control him. Why is he so afraid of his ex-wife???? It's a vicious circle, my dear.Get out, NOW, summons the courage and run far away. Stop letting him use you.

    Do you not love yourself, enough to break this strangle-hold he has on you? The right man might be waiting for you, but you are with this guy.....wouldn't it be so nice, to walk, hand in hand in public, have dinner in a public place, with a man who is not afraid to let the world know, that he loves you?

    C'mon hon....you can do it.Don't waste another moment of your life with this guy.

  • Poodles
    Poodles

    Hi delilah and jgnat

    I agree with both of you! I have to find the strength somewhere in my heart and soul to resist him in every way!! He lives just across the street from me so we run into each other i. e., at the store, cafes, me walking down the street going somewhere, etc.!! He flirts with other women in front of me, when i'm at his apt. and a female tenant calls he goes out of his way to make me think they are more then friends!! I understand he is also going thru "midlife crisis" and i feel sorry for him but i don't know how much more i can take!! Michael said if i tell his family about us again he threatened to speak to a few people in my life, i.e. my boss, my coworkers, my friends and make my life a living hell!! I'm also a volunteer with the city i work for and he said he would get me in trouble with them as well!

    We know too much about each others personnal life!! I've done nothing wrong to or with anyone but he is a very good liar, beleive me, i know!!

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Again, resistance is still engaging him. I still think the answer is ADDING to your life. Do you think he'd to a better job of not bumping in to you at the store or on your stree if you have a DATE accompanying you?

    Yes, it's probably better not to talk to his relatives and friends about your relationship any more. This man stinks. Just move on.

  • Poodles
    Poodles

    Hi jgnat

    Thanks for the advice, i never thought of making him jealous!! The only emotions i've seen him show in all these years is anger and lust!! I sometimes wonder if he has any others hiddened away somewhere!! I noticed it's mostly women who advise me, i wonder what the men in this forum would care to say about my problemo?? Good or bad, i can take it, really i can!!

    Paula

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