im in love with a Jehovah's Witness

by saddler 66 Replies latest social relationships

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Ya get unlimited PMs

  • SWALKER
    SWALKER

    R U N F A S T !!!

    Swalker

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    Back to the topic - there was actually an article in the journal Sociological Analysis in 1990 that showed that Witnesses very often marry outside the faith and have successful marriages - contrary to Society advice. The bad news is that the same study showed that such Witnesses who marry outside the faith are often successful in getting their spouses to join them.

    I would give more detail, but I lost the book I read this in in the Kingdom Hall toilet... and won't get it back again 'till Tuesday.

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    You asked: Is there any way we can marry and still keep our individual faiths?

    Short answer: Yes.

  • saddler
    saddler

    Thankyou to all who answered my plee's for advice I do know for certain that my sweethart's mother is a Jehovah's Witness and that she was brought up in the faith but her father was not a JW and her 2 sisters have left the faith and her brother never joined as her father would not allow him to. She do'se go to meetings but how many i dont know andd she do'se go door to door but again for how long im not sure. one thing she has said though is when we were talking about holidays and the fact ive not been away for nearly 20 years her reply was "If I was not a JW we would go away together" this in mind got me thinking is she a true beliver and is she baptized. The problem is I dont want to make it look like im trying to pull her in a direction that she do'se not want to go I could cope with not celerbrating Birthdays or Christmass with her becouse i could spend the time with my family as for children I would like to think that we could both be civil and agree that the children would learn both faiths and allow them to choose there own faith when thay are of an age to understand what religion means. I do know with 100% certainty that she feels the same about me as i do about her. thank you all again for you help and advice im not going to run away from her or her faith im going to see it through to the end and hope the end is a marige made in hevan parden the pun

  • Kristofer
    Kristofer

    wow, our situations are almost identical. However, mine just ended and I'm still hanging on. I thought perhaps we could come to an agreement about child-raising but in the end, she chose her faith. She said her love for Jehovah is greater than her love for me. I think she did the admireable thing. It just pains me that while she is doing the right thing in her own heart and mind, it's all a farse!

  • Carmel
    Carmel

    the shortest answer saddler is "no".

    IMHO

    carmel

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Saddler, if you want this to work, you are going to have a few more long talks with your sweetheart.

    I would like to think that we could both be civil and agree that the children would learn both faiths and allow them to choose there own faith when thay are of an age to understand what religion means.

    Don't assume this! Ask her! Ask about other mixed marriages in the hall. How are the children being raised? Ask if you can talk to those "unbelieving" partners of JW's. Get their perspective. I notice at the hall that I am carefully shielded from having conversations with anyone in my predicament.

    By the way, even though you are Methodist, in a JW's eyes you are an "unbeliever".

    Don't go in to this with your eyes shut. Talk.

  • saddler
    saddler

    ive just had a nice long talk again with my sweetheart and have asked a few more questians firstly she is baptised and has been for 14 years she goes to 4 meetings on a sunday and has 1 at her flat on wednesdays but as for her minestry work as she calls it im still not sure how many hours a week she dose this for. we talked about both our religions but it seens she is deeply commited to her religion and would not give it up as i am with mine i have told her though that i am willing to talk to the elders of her kingdom hall and that i would like to know where i stand in there eyes. my thoughts and emotions are all mixed up at the moment she has said that we could not get marride in her kingdom hall or a methodist church which just leaves a registry office but at the moment this is fine by me as even though im a methodist i havent been to a church service for several years. the questian of children did come up though but as im 38 and she is 43 that might not be a problem as she feels it is too late for her to have children even though i would like to i would be prepared respect her wishes as i have said i would respect her wishes on other things such as medical ethics ie blood transfusions. at the moment we have told no one of our feelings for each other so as not to have people gossiping and that we want to take it 1 step at a time. thankyou all again for you friendly advice and i would like some help of what questions to ask her becouse i cant think straight and have no idea what questions are relevent in our situation .

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    have told her though that i am willing to talk to the elders of her kingdom hall and that i would like to know where i stand in there eyes. my thoughts and emotions are all mixed up at the moment she has said that we could not get marride in her kingdom hall or a methodist church which just leaves a registry office

    I would not recommend this. It is very likely they will forbid her to see you again until you have not only completed a bible study with them but are baptized as well. She is correct, a wedding in her Kingdom Hall would also be forbidden.

    How does she feel about the prospect of a wedding at the registry office?

    I will tell you now that if you join this religion just to marry her, it is a decision you will likely regret very deeply. This sect is a high control group, in that they will make every effort to control every aspect of your life. Even down to what sex between you and your wife (certain acts are strictly forbidden and those engaging in them are punished).

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