Is it possible that a child molester is NOT a pedophile?

by sir82 57 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  FairMind

  Ok

  now Cygnus, I am sending flaming laser beams your way. Please tell me that comment was meant to be a joke.

  I didn't take it as a joke. Women who wear provocative clothing and have an adult body want men to look at them. My personal opinion is that 14 and 15 year old girls who go out in public exposig their midrifts down to the point where imagination takes over should be ashamed as should be their parents. This of couse does not give anyone a reason/excuse to attempt to seduce them but it must be realized that any healthy male (regardless of age) is going to notice them.
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  Lady Lee

  Heathen

  the under age kids are the predator in alot of cases . I see it all the time on day time tv , the kids are nuts and will even go and prostitute themselves

  The really sad truth here is that most of those kids (I believe somewere over 90%) who "prostitute themselves" have been sexually abused before they they ever hit the street. For many the thinking is

  • If somebody's going to 'take' it, they're gonna pay for it
  • this way I'm in control of who I have sex with
  • to drown out the horrible memories of the abuse I use drugs and to pay for the drugs I need to live this way.
  • the street is safer than where I came from. I least I can sleep without being scared all the time
• 

  DelTheFunkyHomosapien

  Ok
  

  now Cygnus, I am sending flaming laser beams your way. Please tell me that comment was meant to be a joke.

  I didn't take it as a joke. Women who wear provocative clothing and have an adult body want men to look at them. My personal opinion is that 14 and 15 year old girls who go out in public exposig their midrifts down to the point where imagination takes over should be ashamed as should be their parents. This of couse does not give anyone a reason/excuse to attempt to seduce them but it must be realized that any healthy male (regardless of age) is going to notice them.

  So what is your point?????
• 

  DelTheFunkyHomosapien

  Double post.
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  enosant

  I don't have any professional training or personal experience in this matter, but it seems to me that the problem with young girls dressing provocatively is not with the girls per se. They are obviously not asking for it. But some men are weak and the combination of their sexaul arousal by what they see (as we all know, a man's arousal is greatly governed by what he sees!), opportunity and the belief that they can get away with it might in some generate illicit thoughts of satisfying their sexual desire and maybe even acting upon them.

  We have to recognise that not all men are in complete control of their faculties or urges and on seeing nubile young girls bearing a lot of flesh and wearing make-up, they may succomb. This is the danger and it doesn't seem that the girls are aware of that.

  Here in England it is practically the norm for girls to dress that way. It must be fashion or peer pressure. Somestime I see school girls of 10 or 12 wearing jelwellery and heavy make-up! I don't understand how their parents allow them to do that! But it appears that they put on the make-up after they leave the house. They want to be like little models as on tv but they have no idea of the kind of dangers they are exposing themselves to!

  I have a little girl myself and I dread to think how she is going to turn out! I think I should encourage her to be a goth!

  As to the whether a child molester is a peadophile or not, in my book they should both be treated as equally likely to re-offend and not allow them to be in situations where they might have the opportunity. It safest for the kids and also protects the abuser from himself/herself. Of course, there may be injustices, as is the case mentioned above where the teenage sexual angst of the babysitter got the better of him, but would you really want to take any chances?

  ---

  enosant
  Un peut de bien ne peut faire de mal - es.67
• 

  rebel8

  I agree with FairMind's post.

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  I also agree with the poster that mentioned that young girls should not be wearing all the make up and sexy dress of an adult . They just draw the attention to themselves and then blame people for getting the wrong ideas .

  OK I agree that young girls should not dress provocatively. It is not ladylike, and that's the reason. It has NOTHING to do with forcing adults to rape them. Blame people for getting the wrong ideas? If those people are adults, absolutely they should be blamed. Adults are supposed to conduct themselves as mature, thinking, responsible individuals.

  As to drawing attention to themselves, that is what children naturally do. Teens are children too and they don't have the brain capacity to comprehend the real implications of what they're doing. Check a child development text book and you will learn this is true.

  Let's take this logic and see how it withstands an illustration. Your logic: Children do strange things to get attention=adults are allowed to react in whatever impulsive way they wish and in turn blame it on the children. So.....

  ....babies cry=adults can beat them to death and the babies are to blame

  ...toddlers misbehave to get their parents' attention=ok for parents to lock them in the basement for a few weeks w/o food/water

  ...10-yr old hits his sister out of jealousy for his perception that his parents are paying more attention to her=ok to shoot him in the head

  ...14 yr-old beginning to develop realizes others pay attention to her when she wears tight jeans=ok to rape her

  GIMME A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!! At what point will adults become responsible for their own behavior?
• 

  Lady Lee

  Well said Rebel

  I also agree with the poster that mentioned that young girls should not be wearing all the make up and sexy dress of an adult . They just draw the attention to themselves and then blame people for getting the wrong ideas .

  WARNING: Some of the following is a little graphic.

  I was 8 yrs old the first time someone sexually abused me. I wasn't wearing make-up or provocative clothing. I was just a little kid playing in the park with my brother.

  By the time I was 12yrs old 10 different men had sexually abused me in one way or another. I never had make-up on (my parents woudl have killed me). I never had clothing that was suggestive. (didn't even know things like that existed). The abuses went from exposing themselves all the way to sodomy.

  The abuses had absolutely nothing to do with what I was wearing or how my face looked. Abusers don't even look at the face of the victim. They are much more interested in other body parts. At 8 yrs old I had not started to develop so there was nothing there for them to get excited about.

  Sexual abuse is about power, the ability to induce fear or shock; it is about satisfying their need at the expence of the child.

  Later on as an adult I had men rub themselves against me on the buses or expose themselves to me in public places. I have never been one to wear suggestive clothing (well except for a short period of time when my mother got me a dress so she could find a husband for me).The most makeup I have ever worn is a tiny bit of blush, some lipstick, and a tiny bit of eyeliner. The effect was always minimal. The last thing I ever wanted was to attract sexual attention from some pervert or anyone for that matter. I certainly had the experience to know they don't care what I look like. But they always showed up.
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  FairMind

  So what is your point?????

  My point is that it is not wrong to criticize someone for who brings up the other side of the equation. Don't young attractive girls realize that they are inviting trouble when they dress like harlots?
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  rebel8

  The point is, they are not inviting trouble. Adults who victimize others are 100% responsible for their own actions.

  Kids who wear inappropriate clothes are unladylike, and that's it. They are inviting others to look at them--that's it--just as a baby is inviting adult attention by crying. They are inviting nothing else.

  Young girls (attractive or not) who dress provocatively are inviting adult attention in an attempt to get adults to meet their emotional needs. Babies are crying in an attempt to get adults to meet their physical and emotional needs. Toddlers misbehave for the same reason. None of them have the brain capacity to comprehend that the ineffective methods they are using may result in adults perverting that attention into something depraved and dangerous. Teens are capable of hearing the warnings but do not have the brain capacity to understand that. They simply do not. Just because they look like mini adults doesn't mean they have fully developed brains.
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  FairMind

  The point is, they are not inviting trouble. Adults who victimize others are 100% responsible for their own actions.

  That is your OPINION. True, that adults who victimize others are 100% responsible for their own actions but so are teenagers. Do you believe the 16 year old male in California who murdered the lawyers wife shouldn't be held responsible for his actions because he doesn' have am adult brain? I for my part am tired of excusing teenagers for their inappropriate behavior.