Thanks for expressing the way I feel so well, Brummie. My husband just recently told me to "let go" of my association with ex-JWs since I've "let go" of the religion, and so it should all be in the past. I cannot. Nor do I wish to. I have more healing to experience, and I also feel that I can be helpful to those more recently "outnfree" from the JW religious bondage. I enjoy our once monthly "meet-ups" and this board, even though I am posting less and going to college and doing homework more.I have been married to my husband for nearly 25 years, yet he does not share an important part of my history -- the time when my father was still alive, and, actually, my time as a witness since he refused to socialize with any of my JW friends. I find it comforting to have a friend, still, who actually knew my father. I find it comforting to have more than a few friends who actually understand the JW experience, the good and the bad. I am fortunate to have only been an adult convert to the religion, so I haven't experienced the heartbreak of family shunning. I also remember what a JW-free existence was like and I'm not quite as maladroit at holidays and birthdays and God-bless-yous (<<-- mine always come out very delayed - lol) as the in-the-org-from-birth ex-JWs. But there are friends I miss, people I remember fondly and wish I could contact freely from time to time, just to catch up. This, of course, is not possible.I am moving on, but at my own pace in a way which is best for ME after years of subsuming MY needs to the Borg. Nobody is going to tell me when the "cure" is effected except my own little self. "And," as Emily Ann would say, "that's the truth!" 
outnfree
outnfree