Well at 29 years old, after a lifelong relationship/belief in/association with a higher power I called God, here I am very close to taking an athiestic or agnostic approach to the rest of my life. It really hit me the other day although my doubts have been there but I just have been forcing myself to ignore them because I was afraid to give up that religious part of me because its all that I have ever been and I was afraid of the unknown. But I realized after getting through another one of those weeks from hell that it makes no difference how much I pray or how much I believe. Nothing in my life changes one way or the other based on my religious or spiritual activity. Whatever happens, good or bad, is going to happen whether or not I pray or 'trust in God' or try to live a christian life. So really, what is the point? IF there is a God which I am seriously in doubt of right now, He does not give a rats ass about me and could care less how much I pray or love him or anything else. He isnt going to 'provide a way out' or do anything to help me if I need it as Christians would have me believe. I'm the only one that controls my life and when I'm not strong enough to deal with things it goes to hell. I no longer believe in 'He will never leave you or forsake you'. If there is a God He damn sure does leave and abandon people on a regular basis for no reason. If there is one I am going to Hell when I die cause I dont want anything to do with him anymore. There is absolutely no point in believing in God. I could care less if I am "saved" or whatever. I've spent my entire life trying to do what God wants me to, trying to serve him, trying to please him and believing he is loving and good. All I've asked in return is for a little happiness and love and less pain in my life. Obviously to difficult a task for an all-powerful being that created everything in existance. Yea right..whateverI dont think there is any such being up there. and if there is..Screw em.flower
ps. sorry christians, i hope you dont get upset at me.
ps. sorry christians, i hope you dont get upset at me.