AIMLESS- Welcome to the board my friend ! You are among friends here who understand what you are going through, and what you've been through. Please know that my wife and I care . I was raised in the witnesses till age 44, I decided to get out almost 5 years ago. Much because of the reasons you are stating about how you were treated. Don't feel guilty at all about how you feel . It is normal to have those feelings because the witness organization and elders put needless guilt on you for no reason.
You are a good person; never let anyone tell you different. You have a boyfriend who loves you now, and from what you say , you guys are really happy. Give yourself time to heal from being in a " mind control cult" . Your ex-boyfriend who was the witness treated you very disrespectfully and seemed very vindictive because you broke up with him. You don't owe these people anything- they are wrong in how they treated you.
Do yourself a favor and take time to heal from the mental abuse they handed you. There are several books I could recommend for you to read which might help. Let me know if you are interested, and I will let you know. But many here have been hurt too by the organization , so we understand. Don't expect too much of yourself right now. Just breathe in the freedom you say that impressed you about your boyfriend. We look forward to getting to know you here. You can always talk to us if you need someone to listen. Take care, Peace out, Mr. & Mrs. Flipper