Don't dwell too much on Rev1212's response. The vast majority of us understand why
you went to the elders and you gave a good response.
It's a tough choice for you. I don't confront my mother's JW world head-on. Similarly to
you, I say very little. My mother doesn't know the extent of my fade from the religion.
I am totally inactive, attending no meetings but my wife still attends. I chose to just
answer any questions my mother asks, but not to volunteer any information. One day,
she will ask about my meeting attendence. She knows I stopped being an elder, she
knows I didn't go to the District Convention. She knows something is wrong, but she is
afraid to ask too much.
You could decide to continue as things are. You could decide to "confide" in Mom that
you haven't been going to the meetings. You could do this by saying what your feelings
are about the poor help you received from the elders when you were abused by a JW
years ago, and by your husband. You can say this in such a way that you don't totally
knock what Mom believes (doctrine) but just say that you were stumbled and cannot go
back.
You could decide to an all-out honesty about everything. That's a personal choice.
I am not sure that Mom could handle that and continue to talk with you. You might lose
her to shunning, but usually when a child is not DF'ed, most Mom's keep talking to them.
You would know better than us what she might do.
Read everyone's thoughts. We will offer differing advice because we are all different people
with different goals and feelings. Ultimately, you will know better than us what is best for you.