Sorry to hear alot of what has happened, but it sounds like you're with a good guy now, which is great!
May family is mostly in, but I just stopped going to meetings about 5 years ago. No need to disassociate myself, I've not been disfellowshipped, I just quit.
After a while, you're family figures it out and can be pushy, but my thought is that people need to do what's best for themselves, as long as you're not hurting anyone. I don't consider making your own spiritual decisions as hurting someone else, no matter how much they try to make you feel that way.
At some point family will start saying "Why are you doing something that means I can't spend time with you?" Remember that it is NOT YOU doing this, it is them.
It's hard, but you have a life to live and a right to live it.
Note: I'd put paragraph breaks in but they don't show up. Sorry about that.