cognizant dissident	Re: Re: An interesting discussion with my wife
	However, "bitterness" and "anger" is a response that we have some control over. It is an understandable response, but we do have a choice whether to let it go as quickly as possible and move on and have a happy productive life. Some people hang on to anger and bitterness and nurse it, nourishing it and feeding it, helping it to grow bigger and stronger until it becomes the dominant "mode of being" and interacting with others in the world. It is the person who is bitter and angry who continues to suffer long after the original offense is over. Perhaps I don't know the people on this board as well as I thought, because I can't think of one person who perpetually whines and complains. I've found mostly everyone here willing to listen and advise, if they can. I just hate to see people criticize others for being bitter, because it seems to me that it will stop some from venting. For some who are still in or are in the process of fading, this is the only place for them to let out their frustration and anger. I don't agonize everyday about the loss of contact with my mom, and I have a happy and productive life, but there are times when I am very bitter. I think that is normal. I also appreciate the fact that there are many people on this board who understand exactly where I am coming from, as my wide circle of personal friends are not and never have been jws. I have been out for 20 years, but when I hear my "worldly" aunt worry about my mom's health or financial problems, knowing that there's not a thing I can do about them, I feel bitter. Sorry for those whom it bothers, but thanks to those who don't mind listening with a knowing ear. I have met a number of people in real life who chronically complain bitterly and angrily venting at other people on a fairly continual basis. Quite a few JW's I've met do this (and my own family members). It's true, most of them do have some serious problems. Still, I see others with just as serious problems who don't react in the same way. Maybe it's a "glass half full/or half empty" conundrum?   Anyway, my post criticized no one. I made some general statments about how nursing and holding onto bitterness and anger has more deleterious effects on the person who is bitter than on the object of the bitterness or on the people vented to. Health studies have shown the damaging physical effects on chronic anger on the circulatory system and the nervous system. If you viewed my words as a personal criticism, perhaps it is because you recognized an aspect of yourself in those observations and became defensive about it?   It doesn't bother me in the least if you or others live their lives holding onto bitterness and anger. I'll sleep just the same and my life will be unaffected.(hopefully). My point was that ultimately the only person who it will bother and who will suffer for it is you, and possibly those closest to you or those you vent at.
IP: ND5DxJOHiBj9M/P+	by cognizant dissident: Correct formatting