However, "bitterness" and "anger" is a response that we have some control over. It is an understandable response, but we do have a choice whether to let it go as quickly as possible and move on and have a happy productive life. Some people hang on to anger and bitterness and nurse it, nourishing it and feeding it, helping it to grow bigger and stronger until it becomes the dominant "mode of being" and interacting with others in the world. It is the person who is bitter and angry who continues to suffer long after the original offense is over.
Perhaps I don't know the people on this board as well as I thought, because I can't think of one person who perpetually whines and complains. I've found mostly everyone here willing to listen and advise, if they can. I just hate to see people criticize others for being bitter, because it seems to me that it will stop some from venting. For some who are still in or are in the process of fading, this is the only place for them to let out their frustration and anger. I don't agonize everyday about the loss of contact with my mom, and I have a happy and productive life, but there are times when I am very bitter. I think that is normal. I also appreciate the fact that there are many people on this board who understand exactly where I am coming from, as my wide circle of personal friends are not and never have been jws. I have been out for 20 years, but when I hear my "worldly" aunt worry about my mom's health or financial problems, knowing that there's not a thing I can do about them, I feel bitter. Sorry for those whom it bothers, but thanks to those who don't mind listening with a knowing ear.