You will find that most of us have had the same feeling. Welcome to the board, you will find lots of support and answers here.
For now... breathe, just breathe. I know this can feel as if the building blocks of your life are falling - but it will be okay, you will be okay. You can ask any question here, and many will be able to answer with scriptures etc (or you can search for topics regarding your questions). Also, a lot of people are in similar situations as you (married to a brother or sister, pioneer or MS), so know that you are not alone.
You will survive this, take the word of one who has been there for it. For later, if you are up to it, you might try the book "Crisis of Conscience" ... it answers a lot of questions. http://www.amazon.com/Crisis-Conscience-Raymond-Franz/dp/0914675044
