and petrified... I just recently became a pioneer and always had nagging questions in the back of my mind. So, I decided that when I have get a study I would research all the questions as I go along so as to prove everything in the truth... I got 4 studies in about 2 months. All was fine, until I reached I think chapter 6 in the Bible Teach book about the resurrection. It just tells you there that people are going to be resurrected to the earth. Right there, in the middle of my study I sat there and looked up every scripture trying to prove that there would be a resurrection to earth. Had to stop the entire study to go home and research this. I looked up everything, couldn't find the answer. Then, all of a sudden, I had about a hundred million questions that I cant get answered and I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me. The worst part is, probably the blood issue. We are told not to murder. If someone was about to fall off a cliff and we could save them but chose not to would we not be bloodguilty? So, then, if it comes down to the blood issue being a life and death matter wouldn't it have to be at the very least a conscience matter? For me, I would rather disobey a law and obey a much higher principle of the life in which Jehovah has given us! I told this to my husband and he said that he has had a problem with the blood issue ever since the let you take components. I agreed and asked him "how many people do you think died because they weren't aloud to make up there on minds on the matter?" Then, I went on to say that I was always told that if I didn't understand something that I should be obedient and wait for things to be straightened out or to get the correct viewpoint on the matter. So, if a doctor came up to me 10 years ago and at that point it didn't bother my conscience to take a component then I wouldn't have been able to because:
A. I would have assumed I wasn't correct and I had to wait on Jehovah to correct it; and
B. I would be disfellowshipped and considered and apostate for this thinking which is a clear indication that my thinking was wrong.
So, I said all of this to my husband and then said, since the society changed its policy on this, that means that a lot of people must have been writing in regarding this matter. How many people do think died in the meantime even in cases where this didn't even bother there conscience to begin with...
He agreed with me and was very supportive about it. He said that if I find another religion that teaches the truth that we should go to that one. I told him the problem with that is that I have a HUGE family that is in the truth and do not want to lose them. He said that I shouldn't have to because if I found the real truth that they should be following it. He doesn't think I will find something else that teaches some of the correct main doctrines like Jehovah's name, etc...
Its the things that can change that really get to me. Why are they so adament about making you believe the things that are clearly people can't be 100% sure of.
And why do so many disfellowshippings take place on things that the bible does not say you should be disfellowshipped for. Why can't they just deal with it through Jehovah and say a prayer?
Now, I don't know what to do. It's just everything I ever believed has crumbled right before me and I have not the slightest clue of what to do. I just became a pioneer too.
I used to cry about people who didn't know Jehovah because it was so sad that they didn't know the truth. I genuinely wanted people to be happy in knowing about Jehovah.
When I brought these questions up to my family and some other witnesses they either got angry with me or tried to answer my questions but couldn't. I even went to an older annointed brother (He didn't get mad at me. He did make me feel better but couldn't really answer my questions. He is a wonderful brother and said that there would be things that I may question my entire life and not get the answer to.) I thought deeply about what he said and although its true, there are some questions that are not just questions but life and death matters and major life alterering issues I just can't justify in going along with and not have a major problem with it.
Now I have not the slightest clue of what to do...
Sorry, this was so long...