Reading COC put me through all the emotions of death of a close friend. But no one can be healthy putting off legitimate grief. However, the process began long before last winter when I got the book.
After being assigned the service meeting part for the November 1999 Km insert, I gave the talk but felt sick to my stomach. I had already been lurking on H2O and could see the WT boys were trying to hide something. I was convinced by the internet that, at least, there was something terribly wrong with this organization. I hung on until another ex-Bethel friend came to visit. We both complained about the way things were. He told me he was going to get Ray’s books, and to pray for him. I told him if he meant pray that he does not leave the organization after reading them it was going to take more than prayer. This was 7 months ago and we are both out, just attend occasionally for the families.
What this boils down to is I think most loyal dubs avoid COC and the web not because they believe everything they hear form the society, many don’t. They don’t like what they are seeing but they see NOWHERE ELSE TO GO. I had to loose most of my faith in the organization before I would allow myself to break with loyalty to it and open my eyes and ears. I first did that with the net, but Crisis of Conscience was the “nail in the coffin” for me too. I and my wife are immeasurably grateful to you all but especially Ray Franz. Now we have finished Search for Freedom, both Carl Olof Jonsson’s books and looking forward to Pentons’s work.
Jst2laws