teejay	Re: Mental and Emotional Thawing
	Nice post Bigboi, You said, I was a gung ho JW. I stayed celebate for like five yrs straight while I was in it. From some posts i've read around here I think that I was in the minority. That was funny. Five whole years, huh? Wow. I think I had you beat, buddy. So, are you saying that now you're a fornificator? I sure hope not. You can go to hell for that, you know. <g> For those of us who grew up in the truth, life would be hard to explain and hard to be believed, especially if you had parents like my mother who took it all seriously. I went to a family reunion (something that I would never do as a JW unless it was to witness) last summer and met plenty of relatives I never knew. In talking to some of them, I learned that when I was a kid they lived right around the corner, but since they were "worldly," my moms didn't want us hanging out with them. So, we didn't. No sports. No birthdays. No extracurricular activities (glee club, student government, band, sports, etc.) at school. And the only friends you had were other JWs -- gotta watch those bad associations -- so if you and your JW friends went to different schools, you spent a lot of time alone. It's hard coming out from under all that after living that way for years like I did, but I'm proud that I've been able to make the adjustments I've made. I still haven't celebrated my birthday and I doubt I will. I haven't celebrated Christmas or gone trick or treating, either, but there are so many other of life's simple pleasures that I no longer turn down. I don't refuse a piece of birthday cake if someone is celebrating theirs. That was one of the simple pleasures I'd definitely avoid in the past. Or saying "happy birthday," or "bless you" when people sneezed (I don't know what it means, but I know that people like it so it can't be all bad). So many things like that that we missed out on... things that aren't bad but were made out to be bad and made you fell guilty if you did them. You said it well when you said, "being a Jw meant giving up a lot of my passions." To this day I have a hard time being passionate about anything. When you're a Witness, all of who you are is directed towards following the directions of the Society. Field service, meeting preparation and attendance, being careful of non-Witness associations (in my case even blood relatives) and activities, all with a goal of making god happy who was like a super Santa Claus--always checking to see if you were doing your very very best, and if not, why not and could you do a little more. The end was always held over your head, and Armageddon seemed always just around the corner, keeping you from pursuing whatever dream you may have had that took you away from "theocratic goals." It was a heavy weight for a little kid. I doubt that I've ridded myself of it completely or if I ever will fully recover from the religious abuse I took all those years. But I'm trying. peace, todd
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