Shooting the Wounded - A Lack of CompassionThe one thing we all complain about from our days in the organization is the lack of compassion the Elders had for those who slipped up, and the lack of compassion of the brothers and sisters toward each other or those who were disfellowshipped. They have a real tendency to shoot the wounded! It reminds me of the following story.As the crew of the whaling boat begins reeling in the whale they had just harpooned, they spotted a couple shark fins. They know if they don't quickly host the whale out of the water, they will be inundated with sharks. Soon enough, dozens of sharks were frothing the water. With their eyes rolled back, the sharks began taking bites out of the whale.The whaling crew desperately tries to save their catch. They begin beating the sharks off with paddles and hooking rods. Although they are able to injure several sharks, they still lost 1/3 of the whale. The ironic thing was, during this feeding frenzy, the sharks started attacking the other injured sharks. Unfortunately, this savage behavior is typical of many people. Instead of trying to help and provide first aid to a person who is in distress, they attack them.Most of us have struggled through times of great injustice, lack of friendships, great loneliness, and lack of compassion. We have experienced this throughout our lives, especially if we have been in a cult. We have experienced how easy it is to turn off the flow of compassion, a little pride, a little selfishness, a little envy, a little unforgiveness, or a little fear; and compassion is stopped. Anything that causes us to feel offended shuts down compassion. There is not a person on earth that you can't have compassion for. We are all fragile, vulnerable, and weak. We are all struggling with problems, our pride threatens to destroy us and we are only temporary on earth. The key is to look for something in the person or about the person to have compassion for. We all need compassion and we all need to give compassion.Results of compassion are mercy, kindness, forgiveness, courtesy, patience, truth, optimism, endurance, esteem, and everything good. Results of the lack of compassion are pride, selfishness, unforgiveness, impatience, deceit, envy, hate, and everything destructive.We can all recall which we saw most of in the organization.When we realize that we have been taught this lack of compassion, we find ourselves having to learn or relearn what it is and how to apply it. Often we don't immediately realise that we still have this problem lingering in our makeup. We may continue to show lack of compassion toward those with whom we disagree or those who may have caused offence without realizing we are still acting according to our training in the organization. So how do we change this in our lives?How compassionate do you consider yourself? How many times have you really tried to support a person you have openly criticized? Compassion is a genuine distress over another person's suffering accompanied by a firm desire to relieve that suffering (and then to actually relieve it if possible). Compassion involves a gut-level, emotional response to another's hurt followed by a desire to relieve the person of that hurt. Compassion occurs when we walk a mile in the shoes of another. The original meaning of 'compassion' is 'to suffer together'. If you really begin to understand the pain and fear of another human being, your heart will open towards him or her, even if only just a tiny bit. The difficulty is that when we are in the grip of anger, we are too busy defending ourselves and sniping back to take a look at the suffering of another.Compassion requires that we approach each moment with an open-heart. Express tenderness. Be sensitive to people's needs. Touch the sadness of someone hurting. Embrace one another with kindness. Reach out your hand to despair. Listen earnestly to the words of the distressed. Help a suffering heart. Guide the unfortunate. Offer suggestions to ease the pain. Create a solution. Then, promote your solution. When we come to the place in our lives where we identify with those who hurt, then we have taken the first step toward compassion. Compassion begins when we realize that we are all together in our brokenness and need. Compassion begins with identification.Recently I heard about an interesting "compassion test". The students had to write a report about compassion. The morning the report was due, the teacher had a friend dress up like a person who had be beaten and robbed. He had ripped clothing, fake blood, etc. The teacher had the victim lie near the pathway where most of the students would walk to class. Surprisingly, all walked past this person and offered no help. Obviously, there is a big difference between knowing what we should do and actually doing it.It is the condescending attitude of some that saddens me the most. We are quick to point the finger at others when they make mistakes, but we seldom see our own glaring faults. It is almost as if some people don't realize we are all made out of the same cookie dough and are just as capable of doing the same thing. How loyal would your friends be if your secret faults were published on the front page of a newspaper? Worse yet, what would happen if your thought life were published? We are more concerned about other people's misbehavior than our own. An incident that recently took place in my neighborhood provides an excellent example of this. Several neighbors signed a petition demanding to have our streets patrolled for speeders. I found it comical when three of the people who signed the petition received speeding tickets as a result. It was even more comical, however, that these three people had the audacity to try to convince the officer not to give them tickets because they were the ones who signed the petition.
During the Revolutionary War, some American commanders realized it was better to only wound the British soldiers instead of trying to kill them. This strategy would take three British soldiers out of service because two healthy British soldiers would stop fighting and carry their fallen comrade to get medical attention. This special care is what you would expect from those who are concerned about the welfare of their comrades. While diverting so much attention to the wounded soldiers may not be the most efficient military strategy, it does tell you a great deal about the character of these people.
While it is easy for us to feel compassion for a wounded military soldier, it is much more difficult for us to feel compassion for our wounded. The reason for this is that they usually does not appear helpless and in need. Sometimes our wounded comes across as being powerful. It is easy to support the person who realizes he needs it. It is much more difficult to support someone who gives the impression they are OK. Nevertheless, he still needs our help. Chances are he will not be open to any verbal help, so we must provide the needed support other ways. It is important to understand that supporting our wounded does not mean ignoring the problem. It is also important to understand that our goal must be support, not punishment. This may be very difficult to do if the person has deeply hurt us. Nevertheless, we must care for him as though we were caring for ourselves. Once we find ourselves doing this we know that we have finally overcome what we were trained to do in the organization. JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/
During the Revolutionary War, some American commanders realized it was better to only wound the British soldiers instead of trying to kill them. This strategy would take three British soldiers out of service because two healthy British soldiers would stop fighting and carry their fallen comrade to get medical attention. This special care is what you would expect from those who are concerned about the welfare of their comrades. While diverting so much attention to the wounded soldiers may not be the most efficient military strategy, it does tell you a great deal about the character of these people.
While it is easy for us to feel compassion for a wounded military soldier, it is much more difficult for us to feel compassion for our wounded. The reason for this is that they usually does not appear helpless and in need. Sometimes our wounded comes across as being powerful. It is easy to support the person who realizes he needs it. It is much more difficult to support someone who gives the impression they are OK. Nevertheless, he still needs our help. Chances are he will not be open to any verbal help, so we must provide the needed support other ways. It is important to understand that supporting our wounded does not mean ignoring the problem. It is also important to understand that our goal must be support, not punishment. This may be very difficult to do if the person has deeply hurt us. Nevertheless, we must care for him as though we were caring for ourselves. Once we find ourselves doing this we know that we have finally overcome what we were trained to do in the organization. JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/
