((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((OFC)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 I was brought to tears after reading your post....

This cult can be so blinding to most( jws)....Just remember, you are the better person, by going to see your mom....

I sense that she wanted to break free for 2.3 secs, but hen backed away again...I Cant even comprened of not having my mom or dad in my life....

Your husband sounds so compassionate for you, and you sound sooo thankful to have him....

I do hope that one day your mom will see the light, that she is causing you so much pain....My fear is though, she sounds like she is from the old books, do it just like the book....

Your in my thoughts today OFC......Do have a wonderful Christmas, you have your hubby that loves you very much...take -care

Morty

(((((((((OFC)))))))))) I am so saddened to see the effects of this rejection on you.  Somehow we get away and get on with our lives and start to think well maybe it won't be so bad, maybe they won't reject me.  My family is much the same as yours.  Its almost a split personality in some ways.  My youngest brother is the one my parents will talk to, because although he is out too they still feel there is some hope that they can guilt him or twist him back in.  So he is the conduit to myself and my oldest brother about family matters.  So when Cory talked to mom about 6 months ago she told him not to have anything to do with me because I'm demonized.  Then the last time he talked to her she told him to tell me she loved me.

I think that deep down they do love us, but it scares the bejeezus out of them to love someone that they think is an apostate, that they think is of the world so must therefore be demonized.  And if they love someone like us, what kind of sin is that??  These people live in such abject fear, they almost can't go to the bathroom without permission.  She probably had to pray for a long time to get over saying hello.

If that isn't something to be pitied, I certainly don't know what is.  I think the most you can do is what you just did.  Tell her you love her.  Show her (if you can) that you are happier and more fulfilled outside.  That, in my humble opinion, more than anything else, is what can help her to see that perhaps there is another way.  And THAT is why the org fills them with such fear about even speaking to us.  Because they know if all these people could see how much better their lives could be outside there would be no one left.

So my thoughts are with you and I and most of us here can relate.  You are blessed to have your husband to support you through this and this support group to talk to.  Take care.

Gretchen

Hi Orangefatcat,

Interesting meeting you had with your mom.

It seems so cut and dry with the J.W. ways of treating ones who have left.  It's ironic that some parents are not as strict with this no contact rule as others.

I am in a similar position as yourself and was cast off by my mother too. She too was sick in the hospital during this past year.   I wasn't as brave as yourself and went to visit her.  I did , however, call the hospital and told them that I was her daughter and asked about her present condition.  I told them to tell her that I called to inquire how she was doing and that she could feel free to call me at anytime... and I left it at that.   She did not call back.. but that is her choice.   I do ask other family members how she is doing, from time to time, and I'm sure that might get back to her sometimes.

It is a weird non relationship and I have come to accept that I do not hate my mom,.. I hate the religion that has covered her eyes with such a film of crap.

If she dies and never leaves the J.W.'s at least she will die thinking that she was doing the right thing. She will die with happy thoughts of resurrection and the earthly paradise.   I suppose it isn't much different than most people believing they will go to heaven and have everything.

Still hurts, I know,.. but sometimes all we can do is accept what is.  I know that my mom hurts too over this disfellowship treatment rules.. It is unnatural for a mother to have to abandon her child at any time.  I believe that my mother sincerely loves me but has roped tied around her because of the J.W. teachings. So again I blame the J.W. religion for this .. and not her.   I feel sorry for her.. it sort of like she has been captured by them and is  in their prison but because of the brain washing she thinks exactly the opposite of this.

sincerely

Special K

P.S. .. It was nice that she told you that she loves you, and in my opinion, I sincerely believe that she does ..

P.S.S.  .. Maybe you are alot braver than I.. I have never gone to see my mom in 10-11 years...It might be my fears of rejection and abandonment at work.  You are brave...

(((special K))))

 

My mother died when I was two years old....I cannot fathom being timid to prove my love.

I would be at that hospital kicking doors down. I would be hugging her shouting "I love you so much"!!!

Alas I do not have that opportunity..... Fight for your family people! Do not be timid when dealing with the watchtower dogma!

A mothers love will prevail. It is natural and strong. The "society" cannot compete with love, attention, and presence.

Hey Fat Cat, you were so brave to go see your mother, knowing what reaction you could have gotten. As I read your post, I felt that there is some hope there. Your mother began to talk to you, and started opening up. This must have been the second hardest thing she has ever done (shunning you being the first). If you can bear the discomfort and keep contact with her, she may begin to feel more comfortable exercising "her conscious" and having a relationship with you. It could be uncomfortable for a bit, but it might be worth it to try for just a bit, see if things can change for the better. My mom keeps hers with me, and has no fear of reprisals in the congregation, and doesn't try to hide the fact that she does see me. Your mother would NEVER get the boot for visiting her son. Shoshana

OFC sorry this is so painful for you.

oops dont know what happened to the above post it came out all funny!!!!

Mouthy, your computer must be demonized!