When we were JW's we were constantly reminded to put on a "new personality". Now, before I was a JW I was friendly and easy to get along with. It only took a few years of exposure to the cult before I noticed personality changes. Others noticed too. I was constantly in a state of anger, and it was at it's worst the last few years. I felt as though I hated everyone, and could practically mutilate anyone who crossed my path. Naturally, I kept this under control, but it caused a lot of stress, and as a result, health problems like high blood pressure.Now that I'm out, only for a few months, I'm noticing a change. I'm feeling more like the calm laid-back person I used to be. I no longer view other people as mere obstacles to be overcome. My blood pressure is ok now, and I don't even need the medication for it any more.How about you? Were you always angry as a JW? How has your personality changed since leaving the cult?Walter
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| iiz2cool | The "New Personality" | |
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by iiz2cool:
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| StinkyPantz | Re: The "New Personality" | |
I was a happy JW. I'm angry now. | ||
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| rocketman | Re: The "New Personality" | |
I know one thing - I looked at nearly all people outside the jw religion with a jaundiced eye, taught well to view them as "wordly" and since they "did not share my beliefs" unworthy of my extended association. I battled this urge constantly, but it's pretty much a force-fed viewpoint that is not natural to most humans.Now free of that, I am much more at ease around people. I no longer view them as having the potential to sabotage my "faith". | ||
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| talesin | Re: The "New Personality" | |
I was depressed and suicidal, even as a child.
Then, after I left, I was angry for a long time, along with being depressed.
Now, I'm calm and very much the peacemaker (usually). I still get depressed at times.tal  | ||
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by talesin:
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| Lady Lee | Re: The "New Personality" | |
The "new personality" that one is "encouraged" to put on is devoid of reality - forced happiness, no genuine expression of feelings, controlled behaviors and thoughts. Everything becomes about appearances and what will others think.This takes a toll on a person who has not been able to totally repress the real self. The real self will struggle for expression nad it will often come out as depression, anger or health problemsI was depressed. It went away after I left and got therapy | ||
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| garybuss | Re: The "New Personality" | |
I didn't do well under stress. The Watch Tower Publishing Corporation put me under a lot of stress. I am glad to be away from it all. Life has enough natural stress without a book publisher adding undue stress to it. Fear was the thing I remember as a Witness. When the fear went away a period of anger took it's place. Then peace. GaryB | ||
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| Sassy | Re: The "New Personality" | |
I am a lot happier now. | ||
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| lastcall | Re: The "New Personality" | |
.......and it only gets better 2cool. You were prolly all bunged up by all the meetings, service, magazine highlighting, assemblies, talk giving, conforming, and the phoney bs. Your free now and you can reclaim the other half of your brain that you had to give up at your baptism. | ||
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| Undecided | Re: The "New Personality" | |
It's been so long since I was a dub I can't remember very well how I was, but I can remember making friends with people I worked with. I flirted with the girls and joked with the men. I'm surprised I didn't get in trouble with the cong. but I was the PO. I sort of had two personalities, you know, a two faced SOB. It's good to be able to be who I am now without all the rules and guide lines except the ones I make. I think I am a better person now that I am free.Ken P. | ||
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| ESTEE | "New Personality" | |
Lot happier now ... after shedding buckets of religion-induced "FearTM" ...  ESTEE | ||
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| FlyingHighNow | Re: The "New Personality" | |
Izz,Good subject. When I became a JW I started on a downward journey into emotional hell. It was interrupted only by a couple of brief periods of happiness when my children were babies. The depression, anxiety, anger, moodswings and physical symptoms worsened over the years until I had what I call a nervous breakdown. I was unable to leave the house or do much else but sleep. I couldn't cook or clean or even shop for groceries. I would be in the middle of the grocery store and not be able to think or concentrate and have to leave, feeling overwhelmed. I remember thinking that Jesus said to take his yoke because it was light and the load the witnesses were putting on my little family was anything but light. Now I am slowly recovering. I have a much calmer temper. I am happier. I cope better, though I am not yet fully recovered in that area. Izz, I think the JWs wanted us to be uniform and not have individuality. I didn't like that at all. It made me very unhappy. LadyLee, I am going to copy your post and read it again. There is so much truth in what you said. I am closer to being normal and sane than I have ever been.Heather S. #2 | ||
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| Flowerpetal | Re: The "New Personality" | |
When you are raised as a JW, your JW parent(s) are supposed to instill this in you as a child. So what is to put on? That is a question I have asked myself many times being a JW. Now that I am contemplating leaving by doing a slow fade, I find myself shedding a lot of attitudes. However, I have always considered non-JWs as decent people--never as the enemy. I don't have any close friends in the org. I have two close friends outside the org. and am getting close to making another close friend. Two of them are no longer JWs and one is married to a guy who was raised by JWs but never did anything about it. Lady Lee's comments are excellent because that is just what the org. wants you to feel and believe. Myself, I think humans are complicated beings and we need to get ahold of ourselves to keep from being tossed around "hither and thither" by many ideas and philosophies and choose one or two and live our lives by them. I hope that made sense! | ||
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| Aztec | Re: The "New Personality" | |
I wanna hug ((((Bridget, Lady Lee, Talesin)))) and I am a bit more compassionate than I was but, I don't think my basic personality is much differant. I've always been a total bleeding heart nerd. I'm that chick who hugs all the homeless people cause I feel bad for them.I've actually become friends with a few of them that way.  ~Aztec | ||
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| Jourles | Re: The "New Personality" | |
Ditto Walter. During my phase as a hard-core jdub, I was always the easy going, get-along-with-everyone, type of dub. Once I started finding out the truth about the truth, I noticed my personality started to migrate towards anger and hatred. After a few years passed and I became more knowledgeable about the org, I drifted back into my very easy going manner and that's where I am still at today. I realize that if I cannot let go of my anger, it takes the fun out of life as I know it. Just playing the inactive part and not making any waves feels good to me. The times I do go to the meetings, I find that it is easy to tune it out and to think about other things like work, recreation, whatever. There are times when I do look forward to the meetings, especially when someone here says that apostates get an honorable mention in a part - then I'm wide awake! There are several families in our hall that invite us to do a lot of stuff - no theocratic strings attached. I must be in a very kick-ass congregation because I've had some folks tell me that they could only be so lucky to be in my shoes. If and when I am cut-off from any association with the "friends," then I may stop attending altogether. But for now, I might as well enjoy the friendships while they last. Hopefully, people in the hall will see me as a nice and outgoing person and will severely question what happened if I ever da myself or get df'd for my ideas. | ||
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| FreeFallin | Re: The "New Personality" | |
My " new personality" was an uptight, nervous, judgemental fool. Always pretending to be something I wasn't. Always a charade because the new personality never "took," and feeling guilty as hell because it didn't.Now I'm still uptight and nervous, and occasionally still a fool, but at least I'm FREE to be myself. and it feels so good!!!FreeFallin | ||
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| franklin J | Re: The "New Personality" | |
I know what you mean, having been raised as a JW, I did not know any better.I got out when I was 21-22, and do not know if it was normal growing up angst which made me miserable, or lack of sex. Being outside the religion suddenly made it possible to have all the needed sex without the hang ups....life improved immeasurablyFrank | ||
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