Hey JanG,
The high anxiety seems to be the result of an inability to relate to other people combined with the fear of exposure of that
person's inadequacy, immaturity and insecurity. This leads the abuser to want to control and dominate others, having never learnt how to interact with others in normal ways. Often, the abuser is sychopathic (physically violent) or sociopathic (psychologically violent) and despite being fearful of exposure, doesn't show the normal activation of the fight or flight mechanism
My therepist spoke about this. The sychopathic and/or sociopathic person has fears - but doesn't override them like the average person does. He will control, and sometimes destroy.person's inadequacy, immaturity and insecurity. This leads the abuser to want to control and dominate others, having never learnt how to interact with others in normal ways. Often, the abuser is sychopathic (physically violent) or sociopathic (psychologically violent) and despite being fearful of exposure, doesn't show the normal activation of the fight or flight mechanism
Often, the father, if present, is violent and abusive. Perhaps the mother is co-dependent, a successful survival strategy when
living with a violent partner; however, co-dependency also perpetuates the violence as it avoids dealing with the issue.
Usually one or both parents are sociopathic or psychopathic.
I think this is a very true statement. Then, when a couple combines heavy drinking, etc., the family just sinks further. The alcohol soothes for a while, then depression comes in, then the dorky kid comes home from school.......ah, wonderful memories of childhood. Thanks, JanG, it helps to be able to put into words the pictures of the mind. Someday, perhaps able to set it aside, and truthfully be able to say "That was then, this is now."waitingliving with a violent partner; however, co-dependency also perpetuates the violence as it avoids dealing with the issue.
Usually one or both parents are sociopathic or psychopathic.