It took me over a month of reading every night before bed, but last night i finished reading Crisis Of Conscience. I was amazed by what I read. The extent of disregard for peoples feelings and lack of human kindness to those who had given a major part of their lives to theocratic service, made me sick. To hear of how some of them were disfellowshiped offhandedly for trivialities, in their latter stages of life, was disgusting.

It was 1980 when I started to wonder for myself why things were not happening the way I had been taught. I was still active in the 80's but for the life of me can't remember hearing any more than whispers about what happened in Brooklyn. I was that brainwashed, wearing those biblical blinders I was. How anyone could remain in active membership with an organization that has become so calluse and cruel is beyond me. I suppose it is true that many are stuck because their family and friends are there. Those friendships though are forced, based on eronious teachings, judgemental attitudes and lies.

As I read the book things began to make sense. I still have a few of the old books and went back to check on some of the statements that Franz made. He was right. Teachings were continuallu tweaked to make things seem to fit their time line, their agenda. Why couldn't they just admit ignorance? Why must they allow their pride and need to control cause divisions among friends and families? I always fell back on the "where else are we to go?", attitude. I figured that in the longrun the org. was the best choice out there. The basic lifestyle teachings were good. If only the leadership practiced what they preached.

Franz said something at the end of his book that got my attention. Probably the truest statement in the book.  "To believe because others believe, is to have a borrowed conviction and a borrowed faith. To be genuine, and to lead to life, these must be the product of one's own mind and one's own heart."  I'm still figuring out what I believe and who I believe in. When I get there, it will be right for me, of me and for me. When I have made myself whole, for I believe there is a place for faith in me, I will be that much better a husband to Sheila, a friend to my friends and man to my world.

==}>>>>>>>>>>>>

Thunder

wonderfully expressed Thunder.

I know CoC to be true because I knew most of the players personally. When I read the experiences it was accurate right down to how things were said by certain people that it was just totally undeniable for me. You cannot know those individuals without seeing the whole conversations and scenarios in your mind when you read the book. I had no doubt things really happened the way Ray said they did. I was there for some of it! (a child can be a fly on the wall so many times...)

after I read CoC and the subsequent In Search of... all my ideas about reform and any warm fuzzies I might have had dissipated like when the sun breaks thru the mist. I have been criticized for my hard stance on the value of even individuals in the Borg recently(see my thread on violent rage) but I find it difficult to believe that even individuals can go thru life in total denial. I did for years, but I also left to great personal loss and much pain and suffering. and the ones who know all this and still choose to stay--I have nothing but disgust for them.

It may have been the emotional scandals that slapped me awake--but it was the intellectual and doctrinal dishonesty and manipulation that kept me from looking back when I did leave. I could never consider going back to that. It is just so done for me.

Treat yourself extra good for the next couple of months Thunder, it takes a while for it to all sink in and there are alot of emotions that come up at the sheer purposeful betrayal that CoC uncovers.

lotsa love,

Ravyn

 

I understand the fear of losing family. but there is a bigger picture. I have never seen anyone successfully get a loved one out of the Borg from the inside. Sooner or later honesty and integrity comes into play and someone has to admit that they have doubts at the very least. even the ones who kept a low profile had to eventually come clean with their loved ones. which proves to me that you can't stay in for someone else to get them out.

It took me a year to plan my physical escape after I was emotionally and mentally freed. I was not referring to people who are actively trying to plan their escape. I was talking about people who know what is going on and choose to stay becoz of power trips and ego. Those are the ones who disgust me. Not faders who are waiting for the opportunity to take their family with them. Altho I do believe there comes a time when you have to bite the bullet and take the risk and just quit- sooner ot later.

Ravyn

 

Have just ordered C of C

What is Christian Freedom Simon??

 

Cas

Its the second book he did ... much more in-depth and thicker:

Definitely recommended reading.

Hi,

I agree with the above comments that your next book should be In Search of Christian Freedom ... I thought that C of C was it ... but "In Search" knocked my socks off ... especially the chapter on blood ... once I saw how deeply corrupt the Watchtower system is, I could not stay any longer and planned my family's exit.

You quyoted Franz saying:

That is the crux of the whole issue of faith, of Christianity, of what we ourselves must face ... very excellent quote, thanks for the post. - Jim W.

Let me add my little voice to the recommendation for "In Search of Christian Freedom."

pater has been reading me bits and pieces of it. It has a very long section on the cruelty and unscripturality of disfellowshipping, as well as many other "core" doctrines. He won't let me have it till he's done, but I've managed to sneak it from him a couple of times. It's fascinating, and it really does help dispel some of those deeply buried nagging guilt. I have almost no "maybe they're not SOOO wrong" doubting thoughts after having read Mr. Franz' books, and for that, I thank him (and others that I've met here.)

Odrade 

did we live the same life ???

my family in a nutshell, I'm the youngest, how could NONE of them see it !!!!!!!

I'm on chapter 6, about have way threw the book, anyone who has not read it, I suggest you open the wallet and buy it, great read !!!!!!!!!!!

I know what it's like to finish that book...

It's only been a few months for me, and I want to read it again.  It is a great relief and burden at the same time to really realize that you were wrong, wrong, wrong. 

I will never forget the 70 plus year old man who had to go back to putting up wallpaper for a living... utterly disgusting.  The WTBTS has nothing but bad blood on their hands.

In Search of Christian Freedom is even more powerful, more devastating than CoC.  I'm only skimming it, because it is just too painful to really read.

Rosemarie