This practice is completely counter to the results the dubs hope it will produce. When I got my puppy and he started chewing on my shoe, I distracted him, then gave him a desirable alternative, his chew toy, to chew, and praised him when he did. When this gal was called on the carpet for basically, "bad association" instead of encouraging her with "good association," inviting her on outings and "distracting" her from her worldly boyfriend, all this does is leave her feeling alone and seeking companionship and understanding. Now who does she have to turn to? Her "worldly boyfriend". Thank goodness she didn't give him up, because even if she did, the elders STILL WOULD HAVE GIVEN THE TALK. And of course, everyone knows who they are talking about, and she still would have been marked. Everyone knows that the sure fire way to drive a girl to an "undesirable beau" is to forbid her to see him. They are so backwards in this regard. Hey you lurking elders, who think you know everything about human nature with your high school educations and window washing businesses, take note...People have alternatives to your social circles. If you instruct rejection, people will find the alternatives. By relying on advice that might have worked thousands of years ago, when societies were closed and fixed is outdated and ultimately ineffective and UNLOVING (cheeses gonna kick yo butts). You are to blame for "stumbling" this gal. For her sake, I hope she falls all the way out.
Shoshana